Kitty sitting in the sun

Billy's sitting in the sun right now, and I'm listening to WFMU, and thought I'd take a quick break to write.

I had lots of dreams last night. Two I remember.

1) I kept trying to pee, and couldn't. And I was really worried, since I know what that's like - I couldn't pee when I first got herpes, and it's really a horrible feeling. Luckily after a while I woke up, and though I didn't feel so much like I had to pee, I got up and did it just to reassure myself that I could.

2)I have a meeting every Wednesday at 7:30 AM. M's not here and even though I set an alarm, I guess I worried. Because I had a dream I woke up at 9:15. I had missed my meeting! My mom was there and I was crying to her, but then all of a sudden it was that I had missed getting to high school. I tried to figure out what to wear, and time kept going by, and it was raining out, and by the time I was ready and wanted someone to take me to school, it was already lunchtime. My dad showed up for lunch (don't know if he ever did that in real life) and kissed my mom, and went somewhere. So I was convinced there was no point in going to school, though I did miss an art class which I could not make up. Then there were a whole bunch of people around and we sort of had a party.

It was nice to see my dad in a dream. He was his younger self that I have in old photos. What's interesting is that I only remember him kissing my mom once, and so it was kind of weird to see him kissing her in the dream. I remember thinking to myself in the dream, so that's when he kisses her! When he comes home for lunch and I'm at school.

Billy has now moved into the other room in the sun. Just thought you'd want the update.

Dream

So, I'm visiting my brother and in the dream he lives in a high building with office building type windows (flat, not openable, or so I thought). I was near the window and I realize it opens. And I'm hanging onto the sill, which is very narrow, and realize the building is leaning, and thus there is a possibility that I might fall out / I get vertigo. So I'm freaking out, can't move, even though my brother is trying to get me to move. But I'm freaked.

And then the building starts bending over like it's a straw, and I tell my brother to hang on, and I see somehow another place in the building getting upended. And the building comes back up straight and I realized that it was a dream and I made the building bend over and come back up to see that I could survive this really horrible thing, so I felt perfectly comfortable letting go of the window and stepping away from it.

Hmm... can you tell there's stuff going on in my life? Which I will indeed share, before the end of the year. It's another reason I'm not writing as much. But I think of you all and hope you are well.

Dream

I woke up early and was really upset. Crying. My mom and dad were in the other room watching tv. I looked into the mirror and my face was all broken out along the line of my hair - it was reacting to some conditioner or something. Then all of a sudden I'm in a conference center, still crying, and trying to find a bathroom. I end up in this area that people know me, and all I want to do is pee and leave. Still crying. For some reason I had a plate with ketchup on it, and some fell to the floor. I accidentally brushed some woman and she had cat hair on her and then some dust. I picked up a piece of material nearby to pick up the ketchup and the woman asks me for money to dry clean her shirt. And I told her to fuck off. Still crying. I brought the material to the front desk, and it turns out it was someone's sweater. I felt really bad and told the guy I'd give my number so whoever owned it could get money from me. He gave me a piece of paper and asked me to write down my number. In the dream I couldn't think of my number. Had a really hard time. Finally did it. Walking down the street crying, there were people about. The police were stopping people to test for alcohol and they stopped me because my eyes were so red, and they wouldn't listen to me. So I waited, and I chomped down, and broke a tooth. I tried getting it out, and more and more pieces of teeth came out. Then my mouth was full of broken teeth. So the police thought I was a terrorist, and went to test me immediately. I told him I had recently upped my lamictal meds, and he said ahhh... In the background a guy on a stage was holding up a cochlear implant saying that it was the exact same one Michael Jackson had.

Back to reality: Then the alarm went off. I was exhausted, so I took the bus to work. My lamictal has increased and not sure yet what it's doing. But guess I'm worried about it.

Dream

Had to add this. Remembered on the bus this morning I had a dream not only about a nuclear bomb going off (yeah, freaky) but also about standing next to a guy who was pissed that I moved into his 'space', and my head was level with his butt, so he farts twice into my face. After the first one I said it didn't matter because I had older brothers. And also, I didn't inhale through my nose.

I didn't think there'd be a dream interpretation of farting, but the first thing I found was: To dream that you are farting, suggests that you are being passive aggressive. You need to express your feelings in a more direct manner. So if I dreamed someone else was farting at me I think that person is being passive aggressive? Hm...

And nuclear bomb: To dream of a nuclear bomb, suggests feelings of helplessness, being threatened and loss of control. You may be experiencing great hostility and rage to the point of being destructive. Alternatively, you may be expressing a desire to wipe out some aspect of yourself. It may also be an indication that something crucial and precious to you has ended and important changes are about to occur.

Innnnnnteresting.

Layered Dreaming

Wrote this last night:

It's almost midnight and I fell asleep on the couch again. How's this for layers of dreams? Not even sure I can sort it out.

In my dream I'm lying on the couch sleeping/dreaming. And I hear a noise like someone's trying to get in the door but I thought I recognized the voices. So, I try to get up, but I'm so tired that I kind of move my arms and legs like I'm walking to the door, but realize I'm still lying on the couch. Finally I force myself to the door and I can barely get my eyes open. Even when the door is open I'm standing there with my eyes shut and kind of have to force my eyes open to talk to the person, who came back over to talk to me. It was a [fictional] young neighbor across the street who had delivered a game that he and his sister had created for me and wanted to play. I told him I'd play on Sat and went back inside. And in the dream I called up my friend M [who was helping me half of today on my house] to tell him about the experience and to tell him about my furnace, that I still right now as I sit here wonder if I truly had a problem with or not before I laid down on the couch and fell asleep.

I also had a dream about rock climbing with the gay trainer in the gym. I was trad climbing, and using his rack. And he had no nuts. I told him that this morning and he just laughed.

Dream

Yesterday morning my trainer worked out my neck/upper shoulders big time. I went climbing last night, and of course hurt something. Not horribly, but enough that I had to ice/warm.

So, I had this dream that I had to ice my neck. There was a machine that you could put money into and you'd get something out that you could use. Well, I put my money in and out drops a frozen cat - not dead, just frozen. I was in shock at first. Then I thought, oh fuck, I'm going to have to take care of it. It moved around, looked at me and one eye was gone, and it wanted attention. I think the sane part of my brain said, what the hell are you going to do with this dream, and switched to something else or I woke up.

But then about a half hour later, in a sleep or semi sleep state, my black cat, Cleo, flashed into my head. She was just sitting there looking up at me in a nice way - just saying hi. So that was nice.

And in other news, if you are wearing a form fitting knee-length jean skirt that has a slit up the middle, it's fairly impossible to get onto your bike without tearing the junction of the slit. I'm glad I only paid about $4 for it at the thrift store. Sigh. But I liked this skirt.

Dream last night

I just remembered a piece of a dream I had. Very disturbing. I had put my contacts in, and they were HUGE. As I was putting them in I had no idea how I was getting them in my eyes. But then somehow half of them went into my mouth - while the other part was in my eyes so I could still see. But I was crying and crying and crying because I had no idea how to fix it. Very tiring dream.

Dreams

I just today remembered I had yet another skydiving dream. Or was the one last night the same one? I don't know.

In any case, last night, I dreamed that my friends and I were going to go skydiving, and I backed out at the last minute. I think I even had the harness on and decided not to go because it was too windy.

Ok, that was boring.

The other one I remember I was watching from the ground the skydivers coming down. But things went horribly wrong with almost every single one. Several ended up hitting a wire, and the next I saw they were skootching along to get to the pole. One person fell on a huge hot air balloon, and was falling off. Several people got tangled in mid-air, their chutes intermixing, and I looked away before I saw the final result. It was chaos.

Dream

OK, had a dream last night. Actually many dreams, but this one stood out. Let me first say that sleeping pills suck. I took one Sat. night, and all day Sunday I had a sleeping pill hangover - felt tired the whole day. I had no dreams Sat. night. I really don't like the quality of sleep you get, so I'm going to try and do without them. I've always known I don't have an addictive personality, and here's another example.

Anyway, I was driving my car on ice and snow down a hill by a policeman (ok, how much worse can it get??), and my brakes were not working very well. I was shoving my foot (actually, both feet) onto the pedal and almost through the floor. I was slowing down, but not stopping. Thankfully when I had to turn right onto a road there was no car coming, but by then I had started using the emergency brake along with the regular brakes. But as soon as I turned right I had to turn left, and again, with use of the emergency brake and some luck and good driving (despite the car fishtailing and almost doing a 180) I believe I managed to turn left.

And then the dream ended.

Dream

So, I was with a group of people in a house. It started raining quite a bit and the water rose and started approaching the house, but coming in waves. At first the waves weren't that powerful, but then they started getting stronger. The house was on a hill, so the waves would wash down the hill. I realized I wanted to take a photo/video of what was happening because it was so interesting. But rather than go through the side of the house that didn't have water, I elected to climb up two sets of stairs to the other door. There was a lull in the waves, so I thought I was ok. But started climbing the first set and saw a huge wave coming to crash down on me, so I held on tight, and made it through. Didn't even lose my hat. The sets of stairs were staggered, so I ran to the next set just before the next (smaller) wave came, and made it through that. But of course by the time I got the camera, things had calmed down.

It was nice to sleep for 10 hours - staying with a friend who has a sleep disorder so I got some drugs. I knew I couldn't keep from blogging... :-) Hope everyone is doing well, but I'll have to go read everyone's posts.

Dream

So, last night I had a dream in which, among other things, we were looking for a restaurant and there was one called the Irish Pub but it was serving Polish food. Bizzare. I'm not interpreting that bit.

But I did have a vivid piece within this dream. I was sitting with my brother at a picnic table by a body of water. The picnic table was right at the edge, but apparently even more over the water than over the land. He shifted his weight and the table fell in with my feet/legs twisted up in the bottom of the table. I remember being under water with the knowledge that I might drown if I don't get my legs out. But I remained calm so I didn't use all my oxygen, and untangled my feet/legs and popped to the surface.

So, looked up the meaning of drowning. From two sites:
1) To dream that you are drowning, signifies that you are overwhelmed by emotions or repressed issues that is coming back to haunt you. You may be proceeding too quickly in trying to discover your unconscious thoughts and therefore must proceed more cautiously and slowly. If you drown to death, then is refers to an emotional rebirth. If your survive the drowning, then a waking relationship or situation will ultimately survive the turmoil.
2) If water symbolizes the emotions then drowning symbolizes the fear of being overcome by or drowning in these emotions (sometimes it's just that simple).

I'm going with #2. I've had a lot of emotions recently re: me and men, and I'm handling it all pretty well.

Dream

I dreamt of work, and also that I had on a very fashionable dress that everyone liked. Not classically fashionable, but right now or even ahead of now fashionable. That was the best part. I am not that person, and it's nice to be that in my dreams at least.

Dream

Sometime in the night I had a dream I was snuggled up with Patrick Dempsey. We were chatting, faces close. I closed my eyes and he kissed me very very lightly. And I smiled.

That was the dream. I didn't know I had a thing for him! Who did you dream of?

Urinary Dream

OK, how many of you have had a dream in which you were trying to go to the bathroom, most likely pee, and you just couldn't? I think it happens to a lot of people. If you are lucky, you aren't successful and you wake up in a dry bed.

Well, the other night I had a dream in which I was peeing and I couldn't stop! Never in my life have I urinated so long. Somehow I woke up. My bed was still dry, and I didn't really have to go to the bathroom, but I got up and went to be safe.

Very strange. What does it mean???

OK, just did a google search and found a site on dream interpretation. Hmm... maybe I shouldn't have shared this one...

Urination

Elimination of body waste is a task that we often prefer not to share with others. We either feel that our privacy is being invaded, or that another is forcing themselves on us. This often reflects not only the base nature of the act, but also the genital exposure that accompanies it.

Urination is a symbol for territorial disputes. It is also a signal of dominance.

Dream

So, I had to write this down too... In the latter part of a dream last night, a friend was leaving my house, and there was commotion outside. I went outside, and in the front of this house (where I spent my high school years), the front yard is tiered and pretty steep. So these hooligans were pushing boxes of my stuff down the hill like they were sleds. I rushed in amongst them and grabbed the one I could reach to drag her inside and call the cops. It was Avril Lavigne, but I didn't care. I was still going to call the cops.

BTW, she wasn't very strong...