So far

- Today I have eaten 3 types of fruits: watermelon, mango, and banana.

- I have seen three psychiatrists since the time I've been here trying to find someone I can work with. The first was too... many things - not least amongst them was the fact that he had a couch people could lie on for therapy. Ugh, Freudian. The second was good I thought - engaging, seemed to listen, in a modern office, etc. The third was a woman (good) but required that I do therapy with her and I just didn't get the right vibe and she also needed 1 week notice to cancel an appointment (!!!) or get charged. I chose the second, and went back, and his hackles went up when I challenged what he wanted to do (put me on an antidepressant since I've been off kilter for a while).

What's interesting and I think an indicator is that all three had some kind of weird seating arrangement that made me uncomfortable. #1 had a footstool so he was really comfortable, but the patient was not. #2 sat at a desk higher than the patient. #3 sat below the patient. I just want someone who will seat me at the same level they are and will treat me as an equal.

So, after appointment #2 with #2, I cried all the way home and cried at home and M didn't understand a bit of it. I called my friend Cutiepie's mom, who understands completely, and talked with her today. Today I feel like I can find someone else and I will take the time. Yesterday I was frustrated and felt alone. So, anyone know a good psychiatrist out here??