Chakra

Kahn... Or maybe not.

Went to a networking meeting yesterday morning, and it's the first one I didn't like. In part because it was all this woo hah about seven levels of energy and how most people live at level 1 and 2 and there are all these amazing levels above that that you can strive for and should strive for. Unfortunately, due to my frame of mind, the only thing I heard was that I am stuck at level 1 and 2. (I won't take all the blame - the focus on the presentation was much too much on where everyone is rather than how to get to the next level. And there was a not so great mock interview - I mean, anyone who is interviewing and ends their sentences like they are questions will not get a job? I really believe that? ugh)

So, I've learned I'm stuck at level 1/2 and I leave early because I have a conference call I need to take part in, but I stop in the ladies room. And I hear a name that I recognize, and think I've done an informational interview with her. So, after a little 'what should I do' I go up to her because I think it's the right thing to do. The thing is, it's the wrong thing to do if you aren't sure if you've really spoken with her and you expect her to remember your name to verify it. Talk about awkward and confusing. And me ending before I leave with 'I'm sorry'. Oh lord.

Add it my list of 'what I do wrong'. Which also contains being insecure when I met with someone last week, someone who's dynamic and intelligent and I would like to get to know, but I'm stuck in insecure. And another contact who I had thought I contacted for further information but when I asked him about it the last time I saw him (monthly networking meeting that he organizes) he didn't know it, and it turns out I hadn't sent him and email and I couldn't find my notes about what I wanted. It's shoot myself in the foot time. I was ok for a while, but now I'm stuck in the 'I'm a dime a dozen' and 'Am I really all that good an employee?'. I've learned all the things I've done personally that aren't up to snuff, and second guessing my employment.

I will give myself credit that I pulled myself together enough yesterday to do a fairly successful meeting with someone at UC Berkeley. And I stopped by another place on the way back to my car to leave a card for someone I had had dealings with in another job life. And I am getting my hair cut today, which is long overdue and it's been dragging me down for a while.

Poo poo poo me. Vomit here, and hopefully it'll get better. It leads me along a better track, and lets me know what I'm doing to make it better even if I don't think I'm doing anything. Rah rah. Off I go!