Dumped

Not surprisingly, I was dumped on Tuesday morning. Via email of all things. Can't spend his life worrying about whether or not I'll get sick. I have too many health issues. (I'm assuming he means getting migraines, having bipolar 2, and having herpes - the trifecta).  It's a first. The first time I've been dumped because of physical limitations. It tore a hole in me for a little bit, but then realized I feel free again. I don't need to worry about what someone else is thinking of me, of being open enough, sexy enough, smart enough, strong enough, healthy enough.

I will miss him though. Marvellously complex man with an amazing body, and younger than me! I knew though from the one short hike we did that I couldn't keep up with him, so in the end it's good it ended now. Because he would have broken my heart any later. As it is now, I'm just sad. I would love to have gotten to know him better, and to see what I could become alongside him.

And, it created that break with M that I needed, that we needed. He told me last night that he felt kicked in the stomach when he found out I was dating - even though he said he was fine he wasn't. But then again, felt really sad for me when he found out I was dumped. So, maybe we can be friends for real. He did say basically that he could relate to the guy since he thought essentially the same thing when he was younger. Even with me he didn't really like it much but could deal. Ah, that's my M... always open and blunt. And perhaps there's hope for the other guy 15 years from now.