I have such delayed reactions. Or maybe things just need
time to sink deep into my psyche. My normal climbing partner won’t be able to
climb with me in the fall. So I have to find a new one. Yet, I do have this
fear about my physical ability getting in the way of most climbers (hence the
delayed reaction comment – the guy who dumped me due to my health issues). Climbers
are hard core out here! And I fear being
the one responsible since what if I make a mistake? I’ve been so spoiled – friends with a
guy who has planning in his DNA – and knows
tons of places/things to do. How do you find people who are at your same level
or who are willing to be patient with you?
Skiiing – I don’t like to go fast and most people do. Biking – I am
scared to go over big logs. Climbing – I have to eat regularly, and I get
stupid at the end of a day. Have only done one long climb in my life. I am slow.
Hiking – not in the best shape (OK, that one I can do something about). But
doing things alone – though I can do them – it’s indeed more fun to do things with
other people. I love the outdoors, but
not sure how motivated I am to be the driving force to push someone out there.
Or even to push myself out there by myself. I’ll get over this likely, but in a
weird place right now. When I talk with potential climbing partners, do I say
what my limitations are… or try to just take care of them without making it a
big deal? If I ignore my limitations
maybe they won’t exist? I managed to do
a big long climb, which I never thought I could. BUT if my friend hadn’t known
the rap down… I would have been in deep crap. I’m good at a lot of things and
do well given my limitations. I’m not really great at any one thing – I’m
good. Oh, and I’ve lost a little bit of
desire for the radio station since there’s a guy there who went NUTS over me
and it’s gotten weird – I tried so hard to maintain a friendship but I may have
just reached my limit.
There is also the whole bipolar 2 thing – which I’m tired of
dealing with even though it’s so much better it’s never completely gone. And
the fact that I might end up like my mom. Who will want all this shit? And more importantly, how do I take care of
myself when all this shit hits the fan?
OK, ending in a high note… um… helped out at the Habitate
ReStore and it was fun. I like to be useful. And make sure stuff gets reused.
And Habitat has funds for building affordable housing.
3 comments:
Are their any clubs in your area, for climbing or hiking? Maybe you could join up with people who seem a bit below your level to begin. That could put you in a leadership, instigator position.
I am not a go-getter...so I literally have to have someone lead me into virtually any activity. I end up enjoying a lot of things, but tend not to instigate activities myself. The fact that you want to says a lot about you! It says more than the fact that it is difficult for you, I think.
laura b. beat me to it! Other than a club, I don't know what to suggest. I am a follower. But I respect your willingness to try things.
I love recycle places... so much room for creativity!
Well, I'd be concerned that you're thinking too much. LOL. Of course you tell the truth to the person you're going to climb with. We're talking about your safety and theirs. You tell the truth and partner with them, that's why they're called a partner, yes?
Breathe a bit...try to just tell the truth and not 'borrow'troubles. Lots of oppotunities will simply disappear if you thwart them before you even try. LOL. There's my two pennies!!
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