eating

My name is Pamela and I have an eating problem.

It's not horrible - I'm not bulimic! I just have been stress eating more and more frequently. And I need to stop. My face gains the weight first - or is it that I can't ignore it when I see it in the mirror?

I'd like to blame it all on M. Who has cookies and candy lying around but has the self control to eat one or two at a time. Who can survive on 80% carb diet it seems, and not gain weight. Who doesn't like to leave food lying around nor have leftovers so he serves out and eats a big big serving of whatever it is for dinner.

I grew up with candy and cookies all around. I thought I learned how to say no to it. At some point or another I started saying yes all too often. I used to be militaristic about sugar - no cereals with any sugar, no soda, no candy bars, no chocolate before lunch... And over time became lax.

Yesterday for example. Half a candy bar at 10:30 instead of my banana. Soup for lunch, good. Doctor's appointment at 2:15 where they had a big bowl of M&M's. I knew I didn't really want or need them, but took a small cup anyway. Leaving the office, I tripped and dropped all of them. Instead of taking that as a sign, I picked them up and ate them. Kidding! I picked them up and brought them inside to throw away, and got another cup. They lasted until I got home and I ate the whole cup. And then I had a banana for my snack AND a big piece of Irish soda bread and something else. And dinner was a much too big plate of rice and string beans and pot stickers. I was fine but right before I went to bed I was feeling hungry, so I had a little cheese, and then for some reason had a big piece of cheese.

OK, it doesn't sound like much, but it adds up over time. And I'm 44 so the metabolism is slow. And I don't bike to work every day like I used to.

OK, so my mantra is now, Stretch, Don't Eat. It's on my monitor. I will follow it.