What's this about a cat?

 The cat I thought I would get...well I didn't. His mom was trying to tell her son that it's good he leaves before he has to and he was getting upset. And then she wasn't sure she'd actually have to find a new home. And that was overwhelming to me on Friday, so I told her Saturday I wasn't going to visit him/her Sunday. And Saturday I decided to go after Gwen who I had seen via Zoom at a shelter. Picked her up Sunday from her foster mom.

Now Gwen is 8 years old with a huge scar on her neck/back which not surprisingly she's sensitive about. She's been to one home at least, and not the right home they didn't pay attention to her needs and so she bit them. She can get sensitive...and has bit me twice even though I'm good at reading cats. But other than that, she is super sweet and super playful. Loves to sit on laps. 

My roommate is NOT good with shy/particular cats. A friend said to me today that he can picture my roommate only being good with large dogs. Kinda that person that lumbers through a room, and doesn't want to pay attention, and wants a normal cat (which is interesting since he's a psychiatrist that works with homeless people). That in addition to my anxiety about making sure I don't do anything to make her upset is leading me to not keep her. (I'm in a two week trial adoption mode.) 

 I felt like shit at first for feeling this, and am trying to just let it sit and see how I feel. Not just react. I have a therapist appointment tomorrow so she'll help me talk it through. I just donated money to the shelter to pay for food for animals... just in case Gwen goes back. In the meantime I'm giving her a good home.