Sunday, January 21, 2018

Winding down and up

I have less than 2 weeks at one of my jobs!  I am so excited. I know, being old and given these times I should be nervous, but I get my benefits through my other job and I have savings and no children or pet to take care of so I'm just going to enjoy some recuperation time. Lord knows I need it. Five years at this place and it's been crazy.

I'm going to use the space to learn about myself and interactions with others, write a history of my siblings for when one of us gets dementia and we want people to know our history (and for the kids' sakes), go on the radio more, perhaps take a course at the local community college (my therapist had recommended dance, but that class is waitlisted, so not sure what else to take), and hopefully work on art more (quilt, make jewelry, photo stuff).  It's a big list!

The learning about myself will be accomplished in large part through continued therapy and a group I'm joining.  Hippie dippy is what I call it. A friend suggested I look into it - she was in the group.  "Embodied inquiry".  Sitting with yourself and your feelings and sitting with others listening and sharing, and doing movement to help it come out. It's 8 sessions of 3 hours. Self led, which makes me a little nervous, but gotta take a risk. It connects with the whole concept of opening up to vulnerability and being strong emotionally. [The Jersey in me is rolling my eyes at myself, but trying to stay open minded.]  I'm petrified of deep feelings from my family. I've shut down emotionally - petrified to date anyone. And it's a way to live, but maybe not a way I want to live anymore.

So that's my new year.