Tuesday, April 24, 2012


I'm not so sure how I like this new Blogger format. Kinda annoying to learn a new system. Ah well, there are worse things in life. HOW DO YOU MAKE PARAGRAPHS?? So, a job seeking friend is going through some really nasty depression. It's so hard to hear it because in the end I know he has to help himself. I try to check in though, but sometimes it makes me depressed to listen to how depressed he is. So, I went out for a run and smelled the roses. Beautiful. I called him initially to potentially pass on to him a 3-month consultancy offer I had received. My reason I gave him started off vague (though part of it is that he really truly needs it more than me), but then I said that I didn't know what my life was going to be like in the next couple months since the guy I moved here with was moving out. And, immediately smacked myself virtually in the head. I really sometimes struggle with what to tell people. I don't want to ignore stuff, but really, there are different stories to be told to different people, and I feel I get them wrong way too often. I told my brother and sister in law about M moving out, and she wrote that he was so nice though... Of course he is. I wouldn't be with him otherwise. Sigh. I really don't know where I'm going to live and I'll need a job to get a place. And I think of handing over a consultancy to someone. Duh. Interview tomorrow for a potentially very boring job. Did I mention this before? If so, excuse the lapse. But keeping on the bright side from hereonin. Last night played softball with the place I'm temping at right now. It was a lot of fun! OK, work.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Cat Empire

Last night seems so long ago. And thankfully my ears have stopped ringing. Went to see Cat Empire at Slim's last night. The last time I saw Cat Empire was about 6 years ago? I was amazed by the complexity of their sound and blending of so many different genres. Well, it seems they have absorbed another element - Senegalese rock. One white singer sounds very black. But it's not just that - it's the groove. This wall of complex upbeat sound - I even took out my earplugs to experience it all. For two hours! There were old favorites, and this new Senegalese-ish stuff. Solos by the brass players, the DJ working the turntable, the keyboardist... I think they have about 9 people in the band? Live is sooo much better than recorded. Again, a wall of amazing sound. What was really funny is that there were two distinct ages there - us older people (I'd say 46 and up) and teens/early 20's. One woman at our little cocktail thing was there with her teenage son. He found out about them on the internet and has been playing their music for months and saw they were coming, so his mom took him. "It's a school night, but so what. He can sleep through math class." How great is that? A link to one song. But it's recorded. I didn't search too hard for live stuff, but I'm sure you could find it. Enjoy!

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A morning in a job seeker's life +

I went to my job search group yesterday morning. I was running late, but still had to stop at the post office to drop off tax payments. Got them in though.

As I arrived, a person who is turning into a friend was arriving too. He's been having a hard time pulling out of his hole of 'I'm not getting anywhere.' He went to a doctor and started on anti-depressants and he just looked like crap yesterday, so I felt bad. I am quite honest about my drug-taking experience. Thing is, it's been so long since I started on a drug I forget what it's like. Sometimes you can indeed feel worse in the beginning, which he was/is. He says it might be his mental attitude towards taking drugs... which it might be. He really needs to see a psychiatrist, but, he's worried about the money. Damn insurance issues.

So we arrived to the group, and some guy was helping the speaker set up. For some reason, I gave him shit, because, you know, I never give anyone shit. And we just chatted a bit - I kept asking him questions because I was curious and also because it meant I did not have to network with the others - I thought I had arrived late enough to not network but that was not the case. In any event, during that time I learned he's 40, divorced, moved from Seattle, has kids, started his first company when he was 14, now has a suite of companies (beats me what they are - some of the vague things in this area). I did not learn why he was helping her. He asked me why I was there and I of course said I was looking for a job, and he noted that I must be being choosy, because I have the 'it' factor and should have one by now. Ahem.

I kinda moved away after that, but made sure to give him my card in case he wanted to tell me more about his life because it sounded very interesting. And he was good looking. HA! So the presentation started. I sat next to my friend and patted him on the back occasionally. We listened, and the woman talked about how she was messed up until she got to the root of her problem, which essentially was that her babysitter abused her when she was six. She said it in a more subtle way, but I just did not want to hear it, and so walked out. It made me very angry, but I'm proud of the fact that I let it go and I called a friend I haven't spoken to in a while and we chatted about life in general.

I came back in as it ended, and one guy I had had coffee with was there and he just got a commission to redesign the famous Cliff House. Last time I had spoken with him he was so down about life - he's pretty old and was feeling discriminated against and just frustrated. And now he has this - he got it because he was prepared to jump at an opportunity. He went to have coffee there, and started talking with people at the next table over, chatting and making jokes, and then it just so happened they asked him what he does, and he said what it was, and they asked him for a card, and he had great ones that showed his work, and one thing led to the next. Great for him!!!

Then I had coffee with the depressed friend, and another who was laid off a year ago and who has taken this time to research and write a book on a particular building in San Francisco. It sounds really interesting. But his unemployment is running out, and will soon start feeling the push of needing to make money.

As I had coffee with them, someone called and left me a message. I had given my cv to a woman at a start up event, and they called to see if I could do some part time project management. I was an idiot and didn't call until today, so we'll see if I've blown that.

BUT I did also get a call to come in for an interview - next Wednesday! yay! feels so good.

Monday, April 16, 2012


Humina humina...

Thursday evening I went to see a preview of a movie coming out this summer. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. It's definitely not aimed towards the younger set... But it's really well done. Lots of good stories and good acting. Judi Dench is amazing always. The one problem I had with it is that the story is too easily understood. That's a horrible way of saying it. Um, I guess I didn't get lost in the story, get lost with the characters. I could step back and analyze as it went along, and knew certain elements were going to come. So predictable I guess. But, still it was good.

I went with a woman I have gotten to know since meeting at a networking event. She lives a very different life than me, but we get along really well in terms of what we find funny and some of the approaches to life. We passed a friend milestone since she told me about a date she had gone on. Woo hoo!

M has offered to cosign on the place here if I rent here. Thing is, I only have that option really. Who else would trust that setup than a landlord who knows us and him? It would mean I would have to live with someone - not my ideal. But hey, moving out of California is not my ideal either, and living with someone is better than moving away, I think.

Speaking of which, I heard on the radio a guy co-signed on a car loan for a new car with his girlfriend of 2 months. They broke up 3 months later, and now she's not paying the payments. So, he's screwed. The radio personality asked if he had told anyone, and he had told one friend. The friend literally slapped him. I didn't wait until the end and resolution, because the radio guy was going to call the woman up and get her on the air, for on=air drama, which I wasn't interested in.

I just made a 'sauce' with leeks, orange juice, and rosemary. It was interesting! I think I would do it again... Had it with chicken.

I finished my taxes and it pretty much evened out - I owe the Feds, and get money back from California. Whew. I spent $6772 on health insurance alone last year. Yeha!

I just remembered Antiques Roadshow is on - and I'm using M's computer, so I can sit on the couch and type and watch it. Woo hoo!

Sunday, April 15, 2012


I got to see part of the 1968 movie with Steve McQueen - Bullitt. M said that it's famous for the car chase scene. I had to go to bed early but I got to see the scene through the streets of San Francisco. My god... really well done. Shot in part from the back seat of the cars, so it was like riding a roller coaster over the hills. Very cool. It was interesting to watch the scene because there was no dramatic music; in fact, no music at all during the scene. And the two people in the car being chased did not talk at all. So dramatically different than today.

It was funny to recognize some of the locations. I googled where he lived, and Clay/Taylor still has a shop on that corner, though not the same one.

I'll have to watch the whole movie.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


So, I got to fly the plane through the Bay, around Angel Island, over the Golden Gate Bridge. !!! How many years have I known him and I never asked to fly. I finally did, and I did. OK, yeah, well, the very simplified version - tilt wings and turn (so feet and hands). Oh boy was it tiring! And also because there's no flight tracking over the bay, so it's every plane for itself. Two were very close, and one M played combat fighter with for a few seconds (chased it down) after he took the plane completely over which did not do wonders for my stomach.

So, maybe I'll have one more flight with him, and can try some more.

Monday, April 9, 2012


Outside, next to dad's side, in front of a fire. That's the life.

Enjoying what time I have, trying to plan for the future.

Friday, April 6, 2012


Dream that is. I had one last night. For very good reason. I never should have written on Laura's post that I'd be ok with more woe to have 10 more years, dammit!

Nothing new, really. Just now a timeline for splitting, and much sooner than expected. Though maybe it seems sooner because he's the one that brought it up.

So MUCH anxiety. Hence the Scat dream.

And more this morning.

I feel I have the war of the worlds inside, but thankfully not the whore of the worlds.

- I did not do enough
- It's a good thing
- It's a bad thing
- It is what it is
- I can start TODAY by being different and all will be better
- It's an adventure yet again.
- I can deal with this all on my own
- I want to communicate in a very adult way
- I want to kick the nearest cat (oops, sorry billy... ha!)
- It'll be good to be alone
- I need to cry and bemoan
- I need to look on the bright side

Yeah, just stop thinking. But, if I didn't think, I'd stay in old modes. Much more than I do.

Life's a pickle when you look at it...

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Funny how it is

When I'm at work, I can't blog. And when I'm home, I spend my time on the computer searching for jobs. I have to take time out! For me... of course.


Asked a guy this morning how he was.
"Wonderful!" he said.
Why, I asked.
"Because I have a job. And I woke up today."
A great lesson learned for me. Actually one I know, but don't practice often enough.

In the bathroom at work, I wondered about the potential spoof of Game of Thrones. Something obviously based on toilets.

Then I wondered about whether Peter Dinklage ever gets asked to stand up straight.

---------It must have been the caffeine. I was up late last night applying for a job that was posted yesterday which I HAD to get in to have any chance at all, which is still slim considering that they likely already have a person in mind (I think in this case I'm being realistic vs. pessimistic).

I met a German guy at a Stammtisch a few weeks ago, and sent him some job search stuff, and he never thanked me. That is no way to get someone to help you in the future. But I sent him something more anyway. And he still did not thank me. I have very little desire to have coffee with him. We'll see. And NO, I am not seeking out the next man in my life and NO I don't want that to be the step to finding the man I REALLY want because that's how it works. No no no no.... And besides, he's of Turkish descent, and of all the races in the world, the one I am least likely to date is Indian/Turkish. Nope. Don't ask me why, it just is. In case you care.

I have two more graves scheduled, and slow am slowly ticking away at the 13 required ones. I really do like doing them.

My mom is back at her usual location, as of today. Which is great.

I heard on the radio that a bicyclist hit a pedestrian in SF this week, and the pedestrian died. How horrible! And, they are wondering if he should be charged (he ran a stop sign). I think yes!

Windy has stormy eyes.

Sunday, April 1, 2012


Congo - Michael Crichton
It's so old that they give a pronunciation guide for his name.
It's so old, they talk in wonder about the new 256k computer chip.
It's so old...
But, ya know, mindless. Except I didn't like how it ended. It's an odd book.

Hunger Games
I'm on the last one now. Sucking them down in a couple days. So glad I get to these when they are all out. No more Harry Potter replay! I think they are really well done, and must be amazing movies (existing and to be).

very true