Friday, April 6, 2012


Dream that is. I had one last night. For very good reason. I never should have written on Laura's post that I'd be ok with more woe to have 10 more years, dammit!

Nothing new, really. Just now a timeline for splitting, and much sooner than expected. Though maybe it seems sooner because he's the one that brought it up.

So MUCH anxiety. Hence the Scat dream.

And more this morning.

I feel I have the war of the worlds inside, but thankfully not the whore of the worlds.

- I did not do enough
- It's a good thing
- It's a bad thing
- It is what it is
- I can start TODAY by being different and all will be better
- It's an adventure yet again.
- I can deal with this all on my own
- I want to communicate in a very adult way
- I want to kick the nearest cat (oops, sorry billy... ha!)
- It'll be good to be alone
- I need to cry and bemoan
- I need to look on the bright side

Yeah, just stop thinking. But, if I didn't think, I'd stay in old modes. Much more than I do.

Life's a pickle when you look at it...


laura b. said...

Awww! I hope your answer to my Choose and Defend didn't really set your subconscious spinning! I liked your answer :)
And I do think all those things you said need to be said...sure, you know them, but it never hurts to have those concrete, written reminders.

NoRegrets said...

Laura, perhaps it did, but ce'st la vie!