You can always regret something

But as you know, I try to choose not to.

So, this weekend I was in Yosemite, and had leftover cupcakes from the birthday celebration for my friend’s wife. I was going to bring them all home to M, but noticed a bunch of climbers sorting gear either before or after doing El Capitan. I walked over: “This is going to sound kind of weird, but I was wondering if you wanted some cupcakes.” They were ALL over them. One guy said he wished he had his camera to capture the moment. I felt bad for one dude who didn’t want one. He may have been vegetarian or vegan or gluten free, and I should have offered him an orange or a gluten free brownie that I happened to have in the car. Ah well, at least a couple enjoyed.

Other moments from the weekend:
- did ONE 2-3 pitch climb that should have taken 2 hours and it took us 4-5 because of the incredibly slow climbers ahead of us. Apparently they timed the woman breaking down the belay station and it took her 30 minutes just to do that. I was waiting there to set up the anchor to bring people up, so I didn't notice. But my god, that's a long time. But, at least there's amazing views while you sit and wait. It was a great climb btw, and also we benefitted because they had just set up the rappel (through a stream/waterfall) and they let us use their rope. My friends were very uptight by that point because their wives had given them 4 hours or so away from the kids and it ended up being 6. Below are the irritated men.


- a bear broke into someone's car at the campsite near us
- apparently rock fell in the middle of the night (spring freeze/thaw cycle)
- it was rather surreal to hear the grind of the big garbage truck heading towards the dumpster, the lifting of the dumpster, the big bang bang bang, and lowering of the dumpster interspersed with blaring music: John Denver singing Leaving on a Jet Plane.

And finally,,,

I can regret not checking the lens to see if it was dirty so I wouldn't have had the fuzzy spot in the photo, but then my picture is unique... A study in contrasts, that's it!!!

Sand

One early morning we went to the sand dunes. Important to get there early or late, otherwise it's HOT. Also important to get there when it's not windy, unless you have a lot of skin to lose. Thankfully it was not windy when we were there. The sand just past the parking lot is so fine it's incredibly soft. Later it becomes harder, but still feels good on the feet. The walk back was at times kinda hard on the feet because it was HOT. But it was so beautiful, and good exercise to boot - walking on shifting sand uses muscles that aren't often used.

Dunes


I should be a model. Such long legs.


Two boys of the friends of ours walking along the dunes.


If you get there early enough, you see a lot of critter tracks. Such as these: Kangaroo rat tracks


One of the good quotes from the trip: we came across a lizard that was out in the sun. He ran into his little hole, and one of the boys looked down in, and then started shoveling sand into it. His mom: Stop that. He has a hard enough existence as it is without you making it harder.

Shadow of the Valley of Death

We have returned! Escaped the shadow!

1,639 miles in a rented Chevy Traverse. Really a great car! Never thought I could say that about an American one, sadly.

571 photos with my new camera.

Great trip.

If you start feeling bad for the fish

it's time to stop fishing.



Back from Maine - starting off with my fishing adventures. I do like to fish, but I really do feel sorry when I catch them. Last time I was in Maine I stopped fishing I felt so bad. This time I tried to do as little damage as possible, and I say sorry and thank you to the fish. But of course you still do harm (see pickerel photo below - scales that came off). Someday I may not fish... Who knows.

I had three good days. Two of the days it was bam bam bam - almost every time I threw in the line in a certain period (small, like 15 minutes, but still...) One of the days all of us in the boat caught at least one big bass - I caught two, my one brother caught three, and the other one. What an amazing 15-30 minutes that was. One of the bass is below (the sideways big one).

Mostly the fishing sucked though since it was hot hot hot for an entire week. But, it made it easier/nicer to swim.

Smallmouth bass (I don't stick my finger in their mouths)


Big bass



Pickerel


Billy begging for fish once he saw the photos


Can you spot the other fisher?

A day or two or three

I forgot to mention that M had work related stuff to do in Seattle, so we were in Seattle late Friday night through today (me) and tomorrow (him). It was really nice to get away. Much as we need to do here, we also need to be away from here sometimes. Maybe even especially so since he works at home and I do not work. It makes for an interesting life.


I'm not sure if I've seen this before, but I've certainly never seen so many. I forget what they are called - surf rowers? Now sure. You stand up on a surfboard-y type thing and paddle. Supposed to be good for your core. Looks a little boring usually, but seeing so many and at sunset - it was cool to see people standing on water. Really neat.

The weekend was with my brother and family and M's friends - split between them. Just lots of good food and good times and relaxation and perhaps a little too much sun which is an amazing thing to say for the Seattle area. It's so beautiful in Seattle when it's sunny!

The next two days were mine during the day, and it turns out I had a lot of Good Will in me. Har. Went Monday via public transportation to a Goodwill I had seen online. What it did not say online is that it's an outlet store. What is an outlet store? It's big huge shallow bins with stuff piled inside that you sift through and workers periodically pull out the bins and fill them with more stuff and bring them back in. The vultures hover and descend when allowed. No shoving or fighting though - very orderly.

Scared the hell out of me but I stayed. Um, for 4 hours. Thing is, they always bring new stuff. Half of it is crap because I think it's the rejects from the other Goodwills - so has tears and stains - but you can find some gems! And, get this. YOU PAY BY THE POUND. Never ever heard of that. So I spent $23 on a big pile of stuff that was not crap - REI tech wear, wool and silk sweaters, LL Bean Men's large all weather jacket... etc. A few things I'll try and sell and make my money back and I think I might just be able to! (Like the jacket and a pair of men's Doc Martins).

The next day I spent with my parallel universe friend. Same life - ish, but in a different location. And she likes Goodwills too, so we went to the one by her. Bought 4 things for the same price as the huge pile from the day before. But that's ok - it was nice to have a semi-real store. I did also find something that I think we really could use but now I have to get it to my home:
It's in her storage unit right now. Really gorgeous.

I did find out when I was away that I only have three months of COBRA which scares the shit out of me. So, I research tomorrow what happens.

Oh, and I think I have anxiety issues. Remember I said I was thinking of what I would do here if an earthquake hit? Well, up there I looked at Mt. Ranier and thought about it blowing up like Mt. St. Helens...

And speaking of mountains, my nephew is back east on the Boy Scout Jamboree, and apparently told his parents one day that the next day he was going to go climb Mt. Vernon. Look it up. Kinda hard to do...

Vacation

Here are a few photos. I got sick on the way home yesterday and spent most of the day in bed. Hope everyone is well.

Where there's smoke, there's turkey cooking.


Lemons I picked from my cousin's lemon tree.


J-tree sunset


The start of a climb

healing

I'm surprised I can write this many updates, but it will soon end until this weekend. Next 48 hours will be BUSY.
- I"m feeling better thank you. Finally remembered that I like to take Zicam, and that has helped. In addition, I had the chance to rest a couple times in a day - even 10-15 minutes helps a lot. Especially after an evening where I was waking up every hour to blow my nose or something. I remember looking at the clock and seeing that it was only 12:45 am and thinking holy crap, this night sucks. I also got rid of the feather pillows and that helped a lot. Didn't know I was a little allergic.
- Go an email and I"m considered a finalist. Not sure what it says that it just makes me think and have a bunch of questions vs. be excited. But, it's helpful one of our sessions was on leadership and it's good to hear people who are at really high levels say how they got there. This might be one of those times for me. But I also have in my head the words of my friend, who said that men are more likely to push for something and then when get it, say WTF - how am I going to do it, but then get on to doing it. And it would be good for women/me to do that too.
- Got to go by Torrance's shop (Raw Dawg). It was a much longer walk than I expected and just bought something and said hello. His daughter was there and she's a PISTOL. Very cute though.
- I really don't like what I've experienced in Atlanta. It's an odd place. Of course, judging it by being a conference is not fair... The streets are empty around here. I did, as I mentioned, go for a lonnnng walk yesterday. Didn't see many white people, which isn't an issue for me, but went through a few sketchy areas and it's hard to not stand out. I only had to pay off one person to leave me alone (smart man - asked for 3.80 bus fare - so how could I just give him a dollar?). He was walking alongside and determined to continue - even picked up his belongings in his cardboard box to carry along.
- I'm very happy they have a decent gym here. I'm very happy that when soemone asked me in the elevator where the gym was but they meant sports bar, that I knew where the gym was and not the sports bar. I'm excited that I've been practicing kneeling on one of those big exercise balls and I'm starting to be able to (my trainer had had me try and it and I kept falling off... so of course it was a challenge for me). I guess it looks interesting because my boss was in the gym this am and watched me do it and commented 'awesome'. I still have to do it by a wall because I'm not stable enough yet. But man it's a workout.
- Please give me strength to not kill the people I'm meeting with for 7 hours over the next few days.

Back and alive

This whole week is likely going to be my vacation adventures... I'm back and survived the trip AND the meetup with internet radio man. I'm starting to feel tired, which is good since I have jet lag. I was a bit nervous out there as one day I slept until 10:00 am Pacific time, but we'll see.

I'm mostly being contemplative at the moment. It was so good to get away, it was amazing. Vacations are a good thing.

I read Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coehlo on the way back. It's kinda a female version of Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah which I've talked about before. One line (amongst many) that stuck out for me was "you are what you believe yourself to be."

It's funny - I started this blog as a way to just vent about life, and to remind myself to live life with no regrets. And this past vacation I certainly did the latter.

I really thought about it as I was sitting trying to get out a question to Exhibit A, who I had talked about before. We got along really well, and after day one of climbing I forced myself to awkwardly ask what was the deal - ie was he interested in me, if so, why didn't he try to kiss me, etc. He looked like a cornered puppy dog and couldn't really answer me. So I let him be and went to get ready for bed. He came in and gave me a hug and a quick kiss, and said yes.

Now, I am really glad I asked even though it almost killed me to do it and I was beet red asking it. I seriously thought to myself - I'm supposed to be the woman with no regrets so I *have* to do this. It led to a nice couple days, but will likely lead no further since there is a distance issue...which makes me sad. But I'm happy I did it.

And now hunger is overtaking me and I MUST eat. I will tell more stories later.

Cheecago

Back from the conference. Whenever I would get a little bored, I'd stare at the floor. This is the carpet.


What's this?


I realized I really love the juxtaposition of old and new, especially in buildings. So, took some photos. Or rather, I took photos and realized I loved the juxtaposition.


Old and new again.


Some more old building.


Detail of neat old building.


Neat design on concrete wall.


Came back to a couple tomatoes. One I had to throw out because too much gone. The other has three bites in it (the left one). The big one is clean and clear... We'll see how it is..


So, knee is better, because I realized it's a pinched nerve and I've attacked it. Still will go to the doctor to just have it all checked out. Lesson learned. Sorry I'm not writing more. Have to go to bed... Missed you all!

Tales from the slopes

What I did on my March vacation:

I skied with three different groups of people the three days I skied.

Day 1: My friend's husband and his two friends (twins). It was a spring day, and my first day skiing all year, so thankfully the whole group was a 'blue' type of group. And everyone was very very nice. I'm a slow skiier, and they'd always wait, which was wonderful. About half of the way through the day I realized why the twins looked familiar - they looked like Kevin Kline! So, I spent the day skiing with two Kevin Klines, which was great, since I think he's good looking. (Both of them are married, alas.)

Day 2: I met up with a friend who lives in CO. Again, spring skiing, and all the natives decided to do other things that day so the slopes were empty. My friend had actually gone climbing on Saturday, it was that warm. Anyways, we had a great great day. It's always wonderful to see her. At lunch I texted a friend and said we were hanging out in bikinis, and of course he wanted a photo. So, we stripped and had photos taken and texted it back. The women who took the photos were a little nervous we were going to take it all off, but no, we didn't.

Day 3: Day after migraine 1. Kinda wished it wouldn't snow the night before so I didn't have to ski. But it did snow - there was 3-6" of new snow and that's pretty rare in my world, so I convinced my friend's daughter to really truly get up and go skiing. We started out late, which was good, so it was a short day. It was great - winter had returned and with new snow, it was a completely different experience even though I was back at the same slopes as day 1. The best was going through the trees - there was even more snow there and a section that wasn't very steep, so kinda floating along. I did round a corner once and almost smashed into a tree, but steered around. I have some control...

And thankfully that was it. Three days in a row is a limit for sure. Alas, I had yet another migraine that night. I have to figure out what to do. But I'm so happy that I got to go skiing and that my skis and boots worked so well, and my legs were strong enough not to be sore at all.

More tales will come.

Photos from CO

A sunny day shot.


A snowy/windy day shot


Where I barfed at Keystone in 2006.


Artsy fartsy shot. I love how it glows on the snow.


Relaxing after skiing.


And finally, a shot of me... Don't say I never put a picture of myself on this blog.

Spring and Winter in one trip

A quick update:
- I did not barf at altitude. YAY.
- I skied three days. 2 days in spring and 1 in winter (powder today)
- My boots are GREAT.
- I got one migraine.
- I learned a lot about my past (my friend is my hard drive).
- My friend has done an amazing job raising her kids - they are so wonderful.
- Best idea for a guy for a Halloween costume - Irish man, with kilt, and humungous dildo underneath the kilt. (friend's husband did it)
- I need to figure out a good thank you present to send my friend.

Hope everyone is well. I'm going to go get a snack now. I fly home tomorrow. Thank goodness, because I'd feel the need to ski a 4th day and I"m BEAT.

Not sure what to title this

I came home from work today, put my bike in the back, walked to the front since I don't have a back door lock yet, and this caught my eye:

Right in the middle of the front lawn! I had not seen/noticed it before, and there it was in full bloom. So wonderful.

And then, the tree to the side of my house is starting to pop. I tried to take a good photo, but here's the blurred result.


Spring is coming, so what do I do? I am leaving tomorrow to go skiing in Colorado. Sigh. Where it's 70 degrees in Denver. Sigh. I am hoping hoping I can get some halfway decent skiing in. But it is / will be better than nothing, which is what it would be otherwise. Next year no way am I waiting this long in the year...

So, I'll be back Tuesday. Don't ransack the place. I might be able to check in, might not. Staying with a friend, but also will be tired I'm sure. Oh, that's why I was researching altitude remedies, btw. Last time I went to CO I barfed the whole time. Don't want a repeat.

Go fish

So, as mentioned in a previous post, this year's fishing was not the best. The fish were kind of quiet. But still, Ms. Amazing Fisherwoman (me) managed to get hits and catch some fish. My brother always had his camera with him, so took most of the photos, and of course kept joking about erasing them. I made him take a few with my camera, but most shots are of me smiling with my big bass, and since I'm too lazy to cut my face out, I'm just sharing the mouth shot of the last bass I caught.

When I fish I go for the big fish. And my favorite place to fish is in the weeds. And the essential lure is the Moss Boss.I have caught so many honkin' fish with this lure, it's amazing. And even when you miss, it's an adventure. One time during this vacation the monster came 1/4 of the way out of the water, huge open mouth. Luckily the kids weren't with me that time, because there was much swearing to be had.

This time, in part because the kids saw me catch one and asked the question - does the fish heal, I started second guessing whether my assumption was correct. That assumption was that a single hook lure is better for the fish than a lure with three hooks (which I now know is called a treble hook). I asked one person, and his response was, if you are worried about the fish, you shouldn't fish. Well, that wasn't my point. I want to fish, but I'd like to do it with the least impact on the fish. I asked one friend last night climbing, and he thought, like me, that because the treble hooks are so much harder to get out, it ends up being worse for the fish. But you could also argue that the single hook places more pressure on that one point and thus can cause more harm (I've see a gash in several fish I've caught - more pickerel than bass). Any comment/idea?

I'll end this post with the peace I found looking at the water.

Maine stuff

So, moving from people to stuff.

Here's one of the main (ha) crops -- blueberries. My brother took one of my nieces blueberry picking, and this is the result. These are high bush, cultivated blueberries, which you can tell by the size of the berry. Wild blueberries are of course better, and my brother had bought my mom a container, but those were eaten by this time (day 2 :-) )



I forgot to include a photo, but one of my favorite things to do is go to the farm that sells pick your own flowers. The kids had a great time, even though before going there they thought it would be booorrinnng (oh how I hate that word). The cabin had many bouquets. But anyway, on the way there I saw in someone's yard a bin with a free sign on it, which always calls to me. Free warped produce, such as this. Swan cucumber!



Then on a walk the girls and I found a very flat snake. Not yet identified.



And finally, I went to an estate sale on the first Sunday. It's kinda odd because this woman only holds the sale on labor day weekend and she's been selling off this one woman's stuff for 4 years. Anyway, I saw this on the wall. It's needlepoint, but has quilting patterns on it. Beautiful colors and really well done. Though I'm trying not to spend money, I thought $35 was a good price. There was one next to it that had the date 1880 on it. I don't this is that old, but it's still pretty damn old.



There's the stuff of Maine 2008.

Maine photos

The 'free' computer I have at home works, and I was able to get photos off my camera last night. What a miracle! I'll have several posts, even though my vacation was not nearly as exciting as Churlita's.

I'm starting with the kids. My nieces were there for a few days and it's always great to have kids around, until they start fighting and complaining, of course. But that's why mom is there.

The kids loved the lake and really wanted to fish and be in the boat. Alas, the fishing kinda sucked this year, so even with worms they caught nothing. They did see me catch some, so at least they saw some fish! (but more on my fishing later). So if you can't catch them, feed them off the dock.



But the boat is fun, at 'high' speed...



Low speed in the channel, looking for turtles and fish...



And medium speed tempting fate and singing the state song...



But the best is either steering (no photo for this) or doing donuts at high speed with your crazy aunt driving the boat. (there's a great video of this)

--------
PS, had my first ever dream with a blogger in it that I haven't met! pretty cool. Will not say who it was... ha.

Maine, Maine. go away

This is near where I'll be staying in Maine. I think it's one lake over. Boy do I need a vacation. And I'm getting one. Whew.

In the past 6 months, among other things, I left my husband, worked on and got a separation agreement, bought a house by myself, moved into it and am now living alone, my uncle died, my sister leaned on me for support for her relationship problems, I was dropped suddenly from a work project due to a complete shift in direction, got offered and took another different half time job, and my cat died.

I did not lapse into a depression, due in part to continued exercise and eating right, regular physical training, the support of friends and family, and some good luck. September will start my new life. See you then!

Painting a picture for Susan

The six of us are sitting on the porch, discussing the proposal. I am facing the river, which is green and cool, and running slowly right now as they aren't releasing extra water right now. I just saw a blue heron fly by over the river. I keep hearing the kingfishers marking their territory. Last night a hummingbird came up to the screen and wanted into the porch. The whole place has cathedral ceilings, and it's all wood framing and wood floors - the wood still weeps for having been cut and formed into a house.

There's an elevated walkway down to a raft on the river. Elevated because it floods here (as is the reason that the outlets in the basement are 5 feet off the floor). The walkway down to the raft moves according to the level of the water. Yesterday they release water and the raft was at least 3 feet higher than before.

This morning I went for a run, out the front door, by the airplane hanger (did I mention this house is on a runway?) and down the road. Saw a racoon who was either very tired or dying (he was rolled into a ball and when I talked to him he just lifted his head and looked at me), a blue heron in a swamp flying off, a deer in the woods pretending to be a statue. The sun peeked through a perfect hole in the clouds and said good morning. When I returned to the house, someone said they had seen armadillos - I've never seen one!

OK, now I need to work...

In Heber Springs

Hi everyone. Didja miss me? Oh, that's right, I haven't really been away. Oh, maybe for a couple hours. I'm in Heber Springs, AR, at a writing retreat, and these people just won't stop, despite the hour. What dedication...grrrrr... But we're in a glorious house on the Red River - perhaps I'll post photos later. The screened in porch is as big almost as my whole first floor of my old house. My brain has tuned out, but typing makes it seem like I'm participating. Gotta love that. I was participating and contributing, but then someone at dinner makes a comment that it's great that I'm here to takes notes. Grrr... to them. Jeez, I'm not just a note taker. Whatever. Trouble is, it gets late, and I get less patient and less tactful. Gotta keep my mouth shut!

I've been contemplating my living situation. I really can't do anything until I'm off the mortgage. I had put a bid on another place, and they just don't want to deal with me because I'm not off the mortgage. And the timing is a big black hole since it's owned by another bank, etc. So, I've given up hope that I'll be able to buy anything soon, and so I'm trying to figure out how to survive another couple months, since as of today I think I've been out of my house 2.5 months. Yep. I have the possibility of house/cat sitting the whole month of July (though in a semi-dicey neighborhood), and I was thinking of subletting someplace in June, but not sure I could get that, so I may spend multiple hundreds of dollars to have a week in an extended stay hotel so I really do have my own place, even if only for a week. My friends are generous and I am eternally grateful, but having no place to myself is grating on me. I figure the money will be well spent, since even just investigating the cost and the possibility made me feel better.

On a side note, if anyone has seen 27 dresses, the movie, can you let me know so I can email and ask a few questions? It was playing on the plane today and I didn't think I wanted to watch it, thus I did not pay the whopping $1 for the earphones. But I watched the whole thing without sound, which for the most part was fine, but I want to know just two bits from it which I didn't get. By the way, plug for continental airlines. I got a real live 'free' breakfast this morning - cereal and milk and banana! I was so shocked!

OK, it's now almost midnight my real time, so I"m going to sleep. We'll see how the day goes tomorrow - I may be blogging more!

To ponder whilst I'm away

I've been noting the comments - I actually have access here. This is a photo of M*z*t and the Sacred Cow of Old Rock. M*z*t is the blending of M*ses and R*b*t=M*z*t. Created in a fit of drunkenness one afternoon. He calls his followers to worship. Not that this makes any more sense to you. :-)