Friday, August 21, 2015

Relationships in CA

So I briefly mentioned I am trying/tried match and OKCupid. Here's a list of things you may never think about, but seem to be prevalent here, and they kind of bleed into each other, so here's a stream of consciousness.

Open relationships: even if you are with someone, you can be with someone else but you don't have to tell about it. I am not sure how this differs from polyamorous, though I think for that there's a primary and secondary/ies. (Had one guy recently I would have loved to get to know. He's married and I'd see him a couple times in a month. I was tempted, I must admit.)

And then there are the people who are married who are allowed to have sex with others. (I've been hit on for that too.) There are indeed people who truly just want to bang someone else, but some are nice people and I can't see them maintaining a distance. One married guy I know I am so attracted to and he has an OK from his wife, but it's crap that it would only be about sex. He made out with some woman and his wife was VERY upset - I guess she watched Pretty Woman. Besides, I couldn't have it only be about sex. So where does that leave the non-married one?

And then the couples that want a third.... and swingers... and... and....

Now with these open relationships, half of them say they don't want someone with HSV. Which is such bullshit. I really don't think there's a good test for it. And there are people who don't know they have it, including YOU perhaps. So you are rolling the dice, and counting on people to be knowledgeable and honest.

I doubt very much that it's only in CA, but it's very open here for sure!

Oh,and then there's the spam. I fell for one once. So nicely written and cute photo.  First email address they gave me turned out to be a woman. I wrote back and said that there was some problem, and he/it sent a new email address.  I asked if he/it was spam, and he/it replied not spam and asked me to tell him/it more about himself/itself. But with horrible capitalization and punctuation. So I wrote back and said I'm a lonely lonely woman and that my mother needs surgery and could he/it please send me $5,000. To date I have received no reply.

I did get hit on last night by a supposed 23 year old. NFW.

I may become a monk.

Sunday, August 16, 2015

Clean-er abstract-er

So, my boss had a conversation with me on Friday. They did some office reorganizing and she was surprised at how much crap there was around the office. She asked if it was my job to clean it up. She said she really didn't know. Part of me thinks that statement is true and part of it thinks it was a set up. Because of course who else should do it?

Why didn't I do it?  Did I not feel empowered to do it? That question irritates me. Empowered to clean and throw stuff away? WTF.

It's a question of priorities. I will do that which is necessary until it's called to my attention that it's not enough. Is that a horrible attitude when it comes to cleanliness? Or is it reality?  It's also not anything you get acknowledged for.

I hate the menial parts of my job. But that's half of my job. So I can't hate it. And I kind of like it too. Don't have to think too much. But is that really good? I was ok with it when I was 100% sure I was doing the art stuff, but I wonder if that's going by the wayside. What's my motivation?  Like I'm an actor in a play, starring me in my life.

Different standards exist but you follow what your boss' is. At least that is the lesson learned. Another lesson: overcoming the nonprofit attitude - you don't need to save, you can always buy more.

Moving forward: don't worry about whether it will be right and not do it. Do it and be wrong. Does that only apply to the upper echelon?

Such a simple issue and far too much thought around it.

Let it go grasshopper.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

Feed two small nations

Feed two small nations with one very large milkshake.


Had my birthday milkshake today. It's one of those places that has extra in the stainless container so you really have 1.5 or even close to two in one "serving".  I was going to stop, and then I didn't.  Oh well, my afterburps are quite delicious too.


I've had a few spiritual things happen recently. It seriously crossed my mind to wonder if that meant I was going to die soon.  Actually hopefully not.

I met with this one higher up at my college job, and for some reason at the end remarked that I felt so comfortable in her office. That I wasn't sure if it was her or the furnishings or what. And she shared that she sweeps (I think smudge is the more official term). Uses herbs to sweep out the spirits.She said she had never told anyone before which was quite cool, and thought I must be very sensitive.

OUCH [kidding]

Then I had lunch with a new person in the school. She's from Ohio and is very thoughtful. Very much caught up in a certain way of thinking that sounds cult-ish to me but she swears it's not. In any event, at lunch she started to talk on another plane - something very theoretical and focused (and somewhat cult-ish) and my brain started to hurt and I felt like she was pulling us under into this deep well of thought, so I told her stop and look up at the fog going by overhead. She laughed because just that morning she was writing and something apparently came out of her which said that to go deeper she should look up. And there I was reminding her of that. So yeah, I think that's cool.


Jobs are good. sucks. So does OK Cupid.