Today it's a confessional. Or rather looking honestly at what I've done and since it's not really worth talking to anyone about, I'll write it here.
Guy where I volunteer has been inviting me places or a while. He's a nice guy and fun but have said point blank I don't want to date him. And I thought for a while maybe I could still do things. But I just get this feeling I can't trust him. He won't give up - but then likely no guy does really. He's almost 70, which doesn't help him either. And since I don't trust him I don't act myself - I am very reserved (which yes I can be, but it's a bit much here).
I was going to say point blank don't invite me anywhere anymore, but then thought that that might be too rude. And yesterday he told me about the party of another volunteer that night. And I decided to go. And it was a great party! The host and hostess were so nice, and the people were great and a mix of young and old - the birthday girl was turning 50 and there were a bunch of the 20-something volunteers. But I kind of steered clear of this old guy. I didn't make an effort to talk to him, when a time or two I could tell he could use someone to talk to. Now that's just rude. And he disappeared somewhere/time in the night. Was it bad to text him today thanking him and asking where he went? Am I leading him on? I don't know all this crap - I think I tend to do the wrong thing. I'll ask M.... :-)
Karma is a bitch though. I was pouring big shots of tequila for the birthday girl and the host, and having about 1/3-1/4 as much. Turns out I had enough alcohol to have one of the worst hangovers in my life. Vomiting for about 4 hours. I got out of bed today at 12:30 and even then was not in good shape. Thankfully the partner of the woman downstairs got me a ginger beer which helped tremendously.
OK, I am going to go out in the heat... sweat off the rest...