Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Taking care of me
OK, no biking, climbing, or training this week to help heal hand and side. Day 2 and trying not to go nuts.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Some photos for you
Let's see if I can remember!
Fish in the lobby of my building.
A boy I made a quilt for when he was a baby, and only just recently got my requisite photo.
The love of my life - Billy Boy.
A new craft I'd like to learn - rug hooking.
Fish in the lobby of my building.
A boy I made a quilt for when he was a baby, and only just recently got my requisite photo.
The love of my life - Billy Boy.
A new craft I'd like to learn - rug hooking.
Angry Monday
I'm angry that I have pains that won't go away. But they likely won't go away because I won't rest my body.
I'm angry because I'm going to a chiro but I don't believe they really will help and are one of those that just want to string you along and I have add yet more dr's appointments to my week.
I'm angry because on Sat. I spent $85 on an amazing 1 hour massage from a former butcher (I love saying that) and I hurt 2 hours later.
I'm angry because I have cut way down on communication with my ex so that he's actually instigating communication, it's been so long, and it makes me sad.
I'm angry because life isn't black and white and I have to constantly make decisions that I don't know if they are right.
I'm angry because I'm alone and have noone to express my anger to except me in this blog. I just want someone to hold my hand and tell me it'll all be ok someday.
I'm angry because I want to be #1 in someone's life and not #2 or 3 or 4 or 5. But I guess that someone has to be me.
I'm angry because I'm angry and I don't know if it's PMS, or mood swings.
And then it turns to crying.
There there. It will all be ok.
I hope so.
I'm angry because I'm going to a chiro but I don't believe they really will help and are one of those that just want to string you along and I have add yet more dr's appointments to my week.
I'm angry because on Sat. I spent $85 on an amazing 1 hour massage from a former butcher (I love saying that) and I hurt 2 hours later.
I'm angry because I have cut way down on communication with my ex so that he's actually instigating communication, it's been so long, and it makes me sad.
I'm angry because life isn't black and white and I have to constantly make decisions that I don't know if they are right.
I'm angry because I'm alone and have noone to express my anger to except me in this blog. I just want someone to hold my hand and tell me it'll all be ok someday.
I'm angry because I want to be #1 in someone's life and not #2 or 3 or 4 or 5. But I guess that someone has to be me.
I'm angry because I'm angry and I don't know if it's PMS, or mood swings.
And then it turns to crying.
There there. It will all be ok.
I hope so.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Saturday Hunt - Up
First off, my azaleas are opening up so I'm getting to see what color they are!
Second, I seem to be dropping my seltzer cans a lot, and when I do, the top pushes up like the below. Makes it hard to drink out of the can, so I have to pour into a glass.
Finally, I look up in my bedroom now, and I see white. It's just the first coat, but I'm so happy I did it, though it makes me want to do the walls NOW. I am so friggin' pooped right now though. This was done after literally 8 hours of working on my kitchen being managed by my friend who can't use his hand or stand, and me yelling at him every time he tried to do something, for his own good. And being stood up by friggin' 5 craiglisters who said they wanted my cabinet doors. And being fed up by trying to find the friggin' breaker that is supposed to turn off the power to the wires sticking out of my wall which were live by the way and which I was going to 'play' with without checking because I thought they were off... OH MY, it's time to go eat dinner.
Second, I seem to be dropping my seltzer cans a lot, and when I do, the top pushes up like the below. Makes it hard to drink out of the can, so I have to pour into a glass.
Finally, I look up in my bedroom now, and I see white. It's just the first coat, but I'm so happy I did it, though it makes me want to do the walls NOW. I am so friggin' pooped right now though. This was done after literally 8 hours of working on my kitchen being managed by my friend who can't use his hand or stand, and me yelling at him every time he tried to do something, for his own good. And being stood up by friggin' 5 craiglisters who said they wanted my cabinet doors. And being fed up by trying to find the friggin' breaker that is supposed to turn off the power to the wires sticking out of my wall which were live by the way and which I was going to 'play' with without checking because I thought they were off... OH MY, it's time to go eat dinner.
Friday, May 1, 2009
When I shouldn't care
So, Tuesday I purposely decided not to care about something.
Long story is that during my trip to Joshua Tree at Thanksgiving, a friend of M's (we'll call him Exhibit A) and I got along very well (everyone noticed). Nice guy, good climber, young (36-perfect age), good looking. So I had high hopes of getting together to climb on various trips, and we'd fall in love and get married. OK, so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I did have a crush.
And a crush means that you care what the other person thinks about you, and whether or not he writes to you. Which he didn't really - once or twice, but that's it. I wrote about doing a climbing trip, and he said yes, but he never followed up on it even when I asked twice. So I wrote him off, until M said the Exhibit A was really bad about communicating with anyone. OK, so, that was good info to know (and not a point in his favor, but oh well). And M had also said when I was whining about not having anything to do for a vacation that a lot of times people in general like to just hitch onto other people's plans.
So I found out that there were 1/2 price tickets to San Francisco, which Exhibit A lives near. And as you know I'm desperate for climbing partners and climbing trips. So, I decided to buy a ticket to San Francisco, and if worse came to worse, which isn't really a worse, I would spend time with my friend B who lives there, or whatever, go camping by myself. So, I got Exhibit A's phone number from M, which happened to be his work cell phone, and I called to see if he wanted to climb on the weekend I'm going out.
Good thing I really didn't care what he said, since it literally took him 3 minutes to figure out who I was, even after giving him lots of cues, etc. I just laughed. But he's supposedly up for climbing, which would be great. And if plans change last minute for some reason, no big deal. I won't be crushed. And this is the best way to be, at least about these things.
[sigh. both underwear and bra were not in my pack]
Long story is that during my trip to Joshua Tree at Thanksgiving, a friend of M's (we'll call him Exhibit A) and I got along very well (everyone noticed). Nice guy, good climber, young (36-perfect age), good looking. So I had high hopes of getting together to climb on various trips, and we'd fall in love and get married. OK, so that's a bit of an exaggeration, but I did have a crush.
And a crush means that you care what the other person thinks about you, and whether or not he writes to you. Which he didn't really - once or twice, but that's it. I wrote about doing a climbing trip, and he said yes, but he never followed up on it even when I asked twice. So I wrote him off, until M said the Exhibit A was really bad about communicating with anyone. OK, so, that was good info to know (and not a point in his favor, but oh well). And M had also said when I was whining about not having anything to do for a vacation that a lot of times people in general like to just hitch onto other people's plans.
So I found out that there were 1/2 price tickets to San Francisco, which Exhibit A lives near. And as you know I'm desperate for climbing partners and climbing trips. So, I decided to buy a ticket to San Francisco, and if worse came to worse, which isn't really a worse, I would spend time with my friend B who lives there, or whatever, go camping by myself. So, I got Exhibit A's phone number from M, which happened to be his work cell phone, and I called to see if he wanted to climb on the weekend I'm going out.
Good thing I really didn't care what he said, since it literally took him 3 minutes to figure out who I was, even after giving him lots of cues, etc. I just laughed. But he's supposedly up for climbing, which would be great. And if plans change last minute for some reason, no big deal. I won't be crushed. And this is the best way to be, at least about these things.
[sigh. both underwear and bra were not in my pack]
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