I've tried making the cookies/twists again, and again it's a runny mess. It's all oozed into one big pan thing. Not sure what's happening. But, it tastes good! I think I ate half a pan already. Mmmm... cinnamon sugar mmm.... Sigh. Oh well, there are worse things in life.
I kinda threw that out there today, but a couple weeks ago the place I was volunteering for asked me to be a consultant through January. They had one person going on maternity leave and one person out of the office for a month. Uh, hell yeah! I had no idea what to charge as a rate, so I just told them to pay me the hourly wage of the person on maternity leave, plus 15% for taxes, which I would have to pay for self employment. It's not a lot, but it's better than nothing, for sure. No guarantee of a full time job, but they seem to like me and my work, so we'll see.
What's a little scary though is that what they do connects to my past in many ways. I look good on paper, but oh, that one job from 15 years ago? I was told I would be happy somewhere else (how's that for an alternate wording for firing?). Oh, that other job from 7 years ago? I wanted to strangle my boss on a daily if not hourly basis, and she pretty much knew it. We went through mediation and everything, but I was just so sick of her.
I keep hoping my life has changed for the better. I keep hoping I have changed for the better. And I know the answer to both is yes. I know I have learned a lot professionally and can do a lot, and with medication, can get along with people. I know I personally am less than perfect - I hear it regularly and when talking about that situation an old friend chimes in in wholehearted agreement. And I know I am better and still have so much to learn, but I need someone who will share the ride and not look at me from high on the mountain and ask why I've fallen behind.
My messy clumpy life. And me.