Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Nekked Bike Ride

So Saturday was World Nekked Bike Ride day. I was going to go volunteer again with Habitat, but it was a gorgeous day and I had read about this a year or two ago and thought it would be interesting to do... So I went!

The meeting time was supposedly 10:30. I got there around then, and there was one guy who was obviously a participant. How did I know?  He was stark naked, painted all over (and I mean *all*) with a zebra stripe pattern, and some fake ears on the top of his head. Just standing there waiting. Along with the - no joke- at least 25 photographers.

No way in hell was I going to take anything off with such odds. So I waited to see if others would show up. A couple people rode up but I could never really tell whether they were potential participants. Started yakking with one guy about how we weren't going to take it off with so many photographers, and another guy with 1970's big plastic rimmed glasses rode up and asked where everyone was. We didn't know. His comment: well, I guess it's hippy dippy time then - it'll get started at 12:00or 12:30.

Then finally another woman showed up. She saw me and my friend talking and came over. We all yakked some, and she said something like she wouldn't mind showing off her breasts, since she had a $21k boob job. She got it for $7k because she worked as a masseuse, and the doctor figured that her clients would be interested in a such a job, and he apparently was right. So, she had to show them off, so she lifted her shirt and showed them to my friend and me, and several of the photographers.  And they were GREAT. I mean, you really couldn't tell. Which is amazing. But she pulled her shirt down again (and we heard a collective 'awwwww..'  kidding).

I was sort of desperate to get at least half naked because I had so looked forward to it. 21k boob job woman lent me a gauzy scarf and I figured I'd go over to a place were there really weren't photographers, though it was still a meeting space. How did I know? The organizer was there. I knew he was participating because he only had on a cheetah pattern p&b cover. And he was excited to be there.

So I figured I'd sneak on by... but as soon as I took my top off zoom they headed towards me. It sucked. So, I sat down and hunched and tried to be invisible. But, that sucked, so I put my top back on, and waited to see if more people would come, or at least more women. I felt stupid with a gauzy scarf over my face. 

In the meantime my friend had stripped down to a minor piece of elastic that held up a P&B cover. And a bandana. So I went and said hi. Then chatted with another guy stark naked next to his bike. A guy came  up with a bandana and a big camera, and had a little gauzy thing on. He had to cover up because he almost got recognized last year. But he was willing to show off his p elastic thing which had dangly colored balls that he could shake.

I stood around a little and a guy with a vest and a gauzy thing on stood by me and said 'may I compliment you on your lovely breasts?' Sure. So we chat and he talked about growing up in an orphanage, and one day in the dorms he had all his clothes off. A priest apparently pointed at a statue of the virgin mary, and said that she would not want to see him that way. And then he says to me 'I found out later that the virgin mary has seen much worse.'

Another woman showed up, and I said hi to her. She started stripping down and didn't really care about the photographers. My 21k boob job friend had taken off her shirt. So I pulled out a shirt and put it over my face like a bandana and took off my shirt.It was a little weird because it hung down and covered me some, but hey I did it. For a little bit at least. I did get a photo with my original friend who was now stark naked, with bandana. It's so odd. And I did get a close up shot of the dangly p thing (which actually I had originally thought were M&M's !!)

People were really polite and nice and yes, weird. But it was fun. I couldn't ignore the creeps and all the cameras which was a shame, but I'm glad I went. I had to leave to go have lunch anyway with my 80-year old climbing friend, whose only comment when I told him what I was doing beforehand was - make sure you wear a helmet!


Bobby said...

Helmet. That's actually good advice. I'm sure they wreck their bikes to. Ouch. The road rash.

Tara said...

You are a brave woman! I know that there was a nekkid marathon in Cleveland one year and lots of people showed up.

laura b. said...

So did people just stand around talking to one another in the nude? Or was there an actual bike ride? Either way, I'd have to pass :-D

silly rabbit said...

I am proud of you for doing it! I've always thought it would be a hoot, yet was too chicken to try.