There's a woman I met recently. We get along really well - she's from Ohio and recently moved here. And we laugh at the same things. Unfortunately she's a lesbian and I believe I made it clear that I'm not. But it kind of irritates me that now that I have really short hair we could look like a couple.
That's rather silly/stupid, but it's my nonsense lead in. It's overwhelming being with her. She's so out there. Not in a spacey sort of way, but in a way - like she's cut open down the middle of her chest and leaves it all out there. She's also very perceptive. So it combines to make me often not comfortable spending time with her. Well, not really. It's just so tiring. She just busts out everything. And I mean that almost literally. So much energy! Thing is, I don't want her analyzing me. I don't want to hear about her transcendendant group that she's studying with (and had to pay $4,000 to join for a year). I don't want to hear about the article she read about red meat giving you cancer. I just want to enjoy here and now and occasionally have some deep thought instead of living in the deep.
Does that make me shallow? No, I don't think so. It just makes me tired. It's not what I grew up with. Thing is, I could learn from it if I give it a chance. But really I am not ready. For what? For someone to see me? Don't know. Am I putting myself down if I say I don't have the energy to deal with weighty matters? Because I don't feel like I do. I've mentioned that before I think. Maybe my spirit animal is an ostrich?
I wanted to write here to think it out. But not sure it's getting me anywhere.
We met up to go to open studios in SF. Met some great artists, including Paul Madonna who I love. It was good doing it with someone. Because there's a confidence that comes from being with someone. But I was anxious about meeting up with her, and really just needed to separate after a while. I think I can handle about a half hour or one hour at the most. Thing is, we're really in tune with each other. Meaning like soul connected or something. So maybe that makes it more tiring.
Not sure. But it was interesting to start thinking of myself as an artist talking to other artists.