Funk-y

I could be in a funk, but I'm not. I'm trying to look honestly at myself and what I am doing and not doing. What I have done and not done. Mostly with respect to my job search.
- I was given the opportunity to meet up with a venture capitalist to figure out how to get a job in a startup that was a little farther along and needed staff. I took several days (or was it a week?) to get back to him with information. Shoot myself in the foot.
- I go to networking events and don't convey passion or energy.
- I've written very boring cover letters.
- I'm passive - or rather too passive to get myself a job.
Oh, there's more I'm sure, but I have to go make money!

And speaking of funky - plants in the Joshua Tree desert. Not sure what it is!

And, get this! They even let you....

Have pets!
NOT have sex. Though I'm sure that's not forbidden...

We have successfully found a solution (short term) for my mom. She will be staying at a Sunrise facility in the assisted living section. It's so nice to have a happy solution after MUCH craziness. One facility wanted to place her in the memory care ward/reminiscence ward/make up your own euphemism and had no rooms in that area. This one placed her in regular assisted living with supports. So, she will be there for a month, and then we'll figure out what to do then.

My sister was telling me this morning about the facility and how nice people were. She mentioned the strange sight of a group of 4 or five people (4 women and 1 guy) sitting around the table. They were playing poker (thankfully not strip poker). In the middle of this the priest comes around. The game stops for a moment and each person gets communion and the game resumes. Funny.

After that story my sister said with much excitement, and get THIS! They even let you have xxx. I swear I heard the latter and had to ask again. I just laughed and laughed.

So, things are good for at least a couple weeks. Then, we figure out what happens from there. But short term she gets what she needs. And my brother got to go home after spending 10 days providing nonstop care. I can't even imagine. My involvement was half of what his was and I was exhausted. My sister told me the story of their Thursday night. She and my two nieces sat around the dinner table, each of them crying. Obviously it's been stressful on everyone. My sister took them to the beach on Friday which was good for all of them.

Happy weekend!

This is Not the Story You Think it Is...
A Season of Unlikely Happiness
a memoir
Laura Munson

I quoted something from this last week or the week before. The story of a different approach to adversity. A specific adversity - her husband saying he wanted to leave her. It was interesting to read this approach and to compare it to how I might have reacted, and how many others might have reacted. I don't know how I feel about it quite honestly. What she did required much patience and understanding, and to live in that moment and keep that in mind is a tremendous challenge.


Autobiography of a Recovering Skinhead
The Frank Meeink Story as told to Jody M. Roy

It was great to read this as I was home dealing with my mom. Such hardship he lived with - a great steadying book for me. In a weird sense.

I have 7 minutes

I'm allowing myself 7 minutes to write this. :-)

Flying back last night I thought of all the things I wanted to say here.

How I stepped back from thinking about her as my mom so I could stay together to do what needed to be done.

How I don't really know her all that well, as a person. At least from speaking with her. Conversation isn't a big thing in my family. But I know that she's the type of person that shares her box of oranges with the downstairs neighbor because she knows what they do to help her. I know that when the neighbor called their insurance to cover their beeehinds (I asked them if they had turned off the light in the basement because that what my mom said and wondered if she knew what was going on. The guy admitted it.) there's no way she would ever think to try and sue them. Even that night she said it wasn't their fault. And it wasn't. I know that she keeps all birthdays and anniversaries in mind for everyone she knows and sends cards (or at least used to). I know that she's stubborn and proud, and that that makes this all difficult. I know she's scared.

And so am I. I almost started crying on the plane last night, but instead I cleared my mind by reading the 400 page romance novel I had bought in the airport as a treat to myself. Finished it just as we were landing.

I really don't know how seniors keep everything straight. It's making all our minds spin with everything that's going on.

I know that she has 6 kids who love her and who are working together to find a solution. As the visiting nurse said, far too many older people have noone, either at all , or who cares.

And we continue to work on solutions.

Joining the club

I have a profound respect not only for my sister but also for all the people who work full time beyond their normal life to take care of an aging parent.

I'm in NJ helping out my mother. I originally came to offer support to my sister, but the night I arrived I stopped at my sister's to say hello, and just as I was leaving she got a call from my mom's neighbor - my mom had fallen in the basement.

Two days later she is home. Oh, she broke a bone in her hand, so she has a splint. Boy, it's hard learning to navigate all the systems and taking care of your life while doing so. I haven't worked since I left CA (and thus I don't get paid). Hospitals throw old people for loops, so it's been hard seeing my mom so out of it - no knowing where she was, etc. Luckily she always has known who I was.

Now the bigger questions come of what's her next phase in life. I've talked to a number of doctors and two social workers, and still not sure what's happening. We want to give her time at home to see how she does, and then figure out level of support - be it 24 hour, or whether it can be less. Gotta look into Lifeline. "help, I can't get up!"

It's been two overwhelming days, and thank goodness there's six of us. I can't imagine doing all this by myself.

But, now I have to sleep since I have no idea when my mom will get up and thus I'll need to get up.

Cupcake Karma

A second weekend in Yosemite, climbing with a friend. We just finished a short climb and packing up to head home, and a woman chats us up to learn about climbing. Soon after she comes over and hands us two tangelos from her friend's tree. Cupcake Karma! I very much prefer tangelos over cupcakes. They really are wonderful. If you've never had one (and I have never had one before this past month) they are worth trying to find and try. Yum.

One day we did a 5 pitch climb, with the first and last pitches being a 5.8. It was my choice to do that 5.8 finish on a 5.6 climb. It looked doable. A little while later, picture me, standing on a small bump on the rock, shuffling weight back and forth, holding on to a small hold, 10-15 feet above my last piece, no places for gear within reach. Move one foot and a hand to the right, shift weight, become really scared, move back. Shake out one leg. Shake out the other. Move one foot and hand to the left, become really scared, move back.

I stood there for at least 20 minutes doing this. My partner was mostly silent and let me just try to figure out what to do. He offered the suggestion of moving left. It had the best footing, but it was a high step and the hold I'd be reaching for wasn't all that good. He suggested down climbing. I looked down and thought about it, but realized I likely couldn't do it without falling, or so I thought.

So, the choice was either up or down. Try a move, or jump off and do a controlled fall.

Given that choice, I had to try.

And I made it.

Yes, I do this for fun. It still amazes me sometimes that that is the case. But it is true.

And, oh, that roofie area at the end that he said had so much gear? Nope. Not so much. One decent nut, and that was it. But, I did the weird traverse heel hook flop onto belly move and made it. To find, again, no gear. At that point I was just like 'what the hell?' and just went to the top.

I don't normally drink after exercising (climbing/skiing/etc) but this day was an exception. Pint of beer and a blueberry lemonade that turned into a lemonade with vodka. Nice buzzzz...

I must admit when I heard the rain in the middle of the night, my first thought was "oh, good, I don't have to climb tomorrow".

But of course we did... :-)

Marie Curie Zombie

From the web page xkcd.com.