Thursday, May 19, 2011

I have 7 minutes

I'm allowing myself 7 minutes to write this. :-)

Flying back last night I thought of all the things I wanted to say here.

How I stepped back from thinking about her as my mom so I could stay together to do what needed to be done.

How I don't really know her all that well, as a person. At least from speaking with her. Conversation isn't a big thing in my family. But I know that she's the type of person that shares her box of oranges with the downstairs neighbor because she knows what they do to help her. I know that when the neighbor called their insurance to cover their beeehinds (I asked them if they had turned off the light in the basement because that what my mom said and wondered if she knew what was going on. The guy admitted it.) there's no way she would ever think to try and sue them. Even that night she said it wasn't their fault. And it wasn't. I know that she keeps all birthdays and anniversaries in mind for everyone she knows and sends cards (or at least used to). I know that she's stubborn and proud, and that that makes this all difficult. I know she's scared.

And so am I. I almost started crying on the plane last night, but instead I cleared my mind by reading the 400 page romance novel I had bought in the airport as a treat to myself. Finished it just as we were landing.

I really don't know how seniors keep everything straight. It's making all our minds spin with everything that's going on.

I know that she has 6 kids who love her and who are working together to find a solution. As the visiting nurse said, far too many older people have noone, either at all , or who cares.

And we continue to work on solutions.


laura b. said...

I can totally appreciate having to give yourself some distance in order to do what needs to be done.
Your mom sounds like a very caring person. You guys are lucky to have her and she is definitely lucky to have you and your sister and brothers all looking out for her now.

Tara said...

What was the romance novel called?

I can't understand how my mom manages to remember all her doctor's appointments and then gets all her medicines organized. Her cat watches her while she does this, and he's fascinated too.

Mel said...

Breaks my heart for you, for them....for her.

We weren't much on conversation either, and it was tougher than tough to have to contend with the arrangements for a step-mother who loved me as her own.

My heart hurts for you. But truly, this was a time that I came to know the woman--that I was gifted to be allowed to help her and love her and say all those things I'd never gotten to say as a mouthy teenager who knew so little about loving.


Romance novels are okay for tear stoppers......once in a while.

Pamela said...

Thanks Laura.
Tara - Nora Roberts The Search. She's a good author because it's not violent 'love'.
Mel, thanks. Yeah, I couldn't quite get to the 'reaching out'. I just needed to get stuff done.

Tara said...

Hmm, I might check that book out! Thank you!

Sorry this is unrelated, but I tagged you for next week's SSS word. :)

Churlita said...

I'm sorry that's so hard. I do wonder what parents and children really know about each other - even though we all live together for so many years. it sounds like all of the things you do know about your mom are pretty amazing.