I'm allowing myself 7 minutes to write this. :-)
Flying back last night I thought of all the things I wanted to say here.
How I stepped back from thinking about her as my mom so I could stay together to do what needed to be done.
How I don't really know her all that well, as a person. At least from speaking with her. Conversation isn't a big thing in my family. But I know that she's the type of person that shares her box of oranges with the downstairs neighbor because she knows what they do to help her. I know that when the neighbor called their insurance to cover their beeehinds (I asked them if they had turned off the light in the basement because that what my mom said and wondered if she knew what was going on. The guy admitted it.) there's no way she would ever think to try and sue them. Even that night she said it wasn't their fault. And it wasn't. I know that she keeps all birthdays and anniversaries in mind for everyone she knows and sends cards (or at least used to). I know that she's stubborn and proud, and that that makes this all difficult. I know she's scared.
And so am I. I almost started crying on the plane last night, but instead I cleared my mind by reading the 400 page romance novel I had bought in the airport as a treat to myself. Finished it just as we were landing.
I really don't know how seniors keep everything straight. It's making all our minds spin with everything that's going on.
I know that she has 6 kids who love her and who are working together to find a solution. As the visiting nurse said, far too many older people have noone, either at all , or who cares.
And we continue to work on solutions.