Sunday, February 21, 2010

Let the bullets fly

It's bullet time!
- OK, I told my mom, aka made sure she knew. No problem.
- This was after I checked in with my brother about what had happened. Good to wait a little while to NOT fly off the handle. Never a good approach, but one I have used often in the past.
- I called ex to tell him, but he did not pick up, so left a message that I'm moving to San Fran and would be good to talk to him.
- I only have two more sessions with my therapist. This is ultimately what I was moving towards and it's a good thing, but it kinda freaks me out too. I've been going to her for, crap, six years??? At least 5 years. I'm scared! But ok too. Biggest thing is being able to step back and look at my life from a more detached perspective. This blog is one way of me doing that and I will continue to do that. I don't want to lean on M to be my therapist. Have done crap like that in the past and it's not good.
- I painted M's bathroom this weekend and it makes a huge difference. Good I felt a sense of accomplishment. It's small but it still took way too much time (ie, more than a half hour - ha). I wish I had had the color for my bathroom (a light gray - it's what I had wanted).
- M is still learning about my blood sugar drops and their effect. I had in the past had a tendency to fly off the handle when it happened. Now for the most part I get quiet, but he knows me from the past so the guard goes up quite high when I get silently hungry. It's a learning process for both of us.
- Damn relationships take time and are learning processes. Damn is sarcastic.
- Billy is meowing at me for I don't know what kind of attention, so I had better go pay attention.

OH! I'll write about a horrible story I heard on This American Life and the impact on my dream world. Coming soon to a blog near you.


laura b. said...

It must feel good to have telling your mom and your ex out of the way.

Are you discontinuing therapy or asking for some referrals to people near where you are moving?

M sounds like he has your number. I suppose that has its good and bad points :-)

Now, bring on the dreams!

Mel said...


Oh, and that buying time jazz tends to work in my favor as well.

You're gettin' there...bit by bit..

Anonymous said...

That you are moving can be a great thing! And San Fran is so awesome. I grew up in LA and we used to drive up to San Fran all the time to visit family friends. So, I feel like I know it. It'll be a wonderful new place for you! Oh, and I have been going to therapy on and off for about 6 years and using a third therapist. change is good!

Churlita said...

It sounds like M. is really trying to get to core of things with you and your relationship. I think that's a good sign. So many men I know would just ignore anything they were afraid of and hope it went away.