Monday, January 24, 2011

Everything I didn't say

As some of you may know, I have a small obsession with WFMU. It's gotten better since I moved across the country, but I still of course care. One show I listen to regularly is Seven Second Delay. I listened for years before getting up the nerve to call in. And I've done so several times since then.

Right before I moved they had a repeat theme - I'm blanking now on what it was called. But basically the two radio guys didn't say anything on air. You would just call up and talk. It was confusing so the first 10 minutes there was just this background stall music. And when you did call and get through you wouldn't really know it was you on the air until 7 or 15 seconds later when you'd hear your voice.

So, I got on and started talking. It was mostly nonsense. It was weird to sort of be the show. After what seemed like forever but was likely just 60 seconds I bowed out. And of course, I thought about all the things I could have said. Because people like to listen to what other people have to say. DJ's talk in between music and half of it is nonsense, but many people are interested despite that. Connecting to another human being? Only half listening? Not sure of the reason.

But what I wanted to talk about was which of the bugs I had in my house I hated the most, and what the listeners would think was the worst.

Here are (were) the choices:
- slugs
- roaches
- ants
- spider crickets

The problem is, each one is creepy and disgusting. But I guess my order of nastiness is this (from not so bad to the worst)
- ants
- slugs
- roaches
- spider crickets

Now, I'm not taking into account how easy it is to get rid of them. OK, well, on second thought, maybe I am.

A line of ants you can get rid of easily with a paper towel, and you can spray insecticide to get the ones in the corners, and leave out that sugar evil stuff so they bring it back home to kill. Slugs are gross and nasty and squishy and so killing them is gross and nasty. Yuck. Roaches laugh at you with their antennae and say 'ha, you can't kill me, and even if you can, I have 5,000 babies in your house that will carry on my legacy, and we'll show up in places and at times you least expect.' Shudder, but SMACK with a newspaper. But boy o boy, I cannot go after spider crickets. The problem is you don't know which way they're going to jump - it could be away from you or towards you. Roaches run away. Slugs can't run. Ants have tiny legs but they still run away. Spider crickets MAY jump towards you. And that makes them the worst.


EsLocura said...

eewww roaches, I hate roaches, I could learn to tolerate the other bugs but roaches, no way, I find them dirty and gross and they give me the hibbie jibbies.

Susan said...

This gave me the hibbie-jibbies. I cannot handle bugs that jump at me.

Put out a bowl of beer. Slugs will die in the beer - easy clean up.

Anonymous said...

I remember that show; maybe they should do it again so you can talk about your bug issues.

I agree with your order of nastiness except I'd put crickets on top; I think they're fun to catch. But I'm weird.

I lived in an apartment for six years where the main infestation problem was snakes; they'd come in next to the baseboard. I got pretty comfortable with grabbing them (with a leather work glove) and bringing them outside. Then when i smartened up, I got pretty good at stuffing the cracks by the baseboard so that they couldn't get in anymore.

Ananda girl said...

I'm with EsLocura! Roaches make me crazy! But so do ants. I don't think I have ever met a spider cricket, but spiders scare the crap right out of me.

Oddly enough, slugs do not bother me. Where I live we have huge banana slugs... yes they are sort of a yellow or old banana bread brown and shaped like a banana. They are big enough to be easily seen unless you are carrying a box or something. You don't want to step on them. UGH

laura b. said...

I am pretty skeeved out by bugs in general, even though I know a lot of them will not actually hurt me. It is just a thing with me. That sounds like a great radio show topic!

Tera said...

NoR I have never encountered a spider cricket, but somehow after reading this post, I don't think I want to!!! And I'm with Es on las cucarachas! They are utterly disgusting and they carry diseases!

Slugs? I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Pamela said...

Es, they do me too, but you should meet a spider cricket.
Yes, that's right Susan, forgot about that.
ACK - snakes!
Ananda - stepping on a slug. Ug.
Laura, if only ! Maybe someday I'll be on the radio again.
Tera, ugh. And it's dinner time here.

3GirlKnight said...

Sorry I don't comment a lot NR. I promise I haven't dropped your blog off my reader.

Although reading about roaches almost made me do it! I hate roaches!

Just kidding.

Mel said...

Ummmm..... I don't mind bugs. 'Cept for evil June Bugs.

And we had a snake who ate bugs--which we bought to feed them.

Yes, we're scary people....LOL