Did I write that I figured out I should say those things to myself in the sauna? Be upbeat? Make it so, so to speak? Well, I will.
The week flies by when you have to work 8 hours a day. Imagine that... I had glimpses today that I might not be happy with this long term. How does it help disadvantaged people? Uh, not much. Except me of course. Hm... have I ever mentioned that that's what I've done? Maybe not. Oh well.
I'm learning to rebound. My friend said that I am sometimes a funpyre. Meaning I suck the fun out of people. Yeah, sounds nasty, but unfortunately I know he's right. Ugh. I mean, it's part of why M needed to leave. I think of it more like I get stuck in this hole of yuckiness and people come near and it rubs off on them. Kinda like trying to bounce a ball on a sticky mat? Not sure of the best comparison. But I understand, as my brother is that way. It's hard to have energy around him as he rarely has any and kinda sucks it out of you. I never ever thought I was the same, but I am sometimes. I can't hate my friend for saying it. Though, I didn't get him a card because of it. And, well, I"m a bit self conscious around him.
In any event, doing a show this weekend and it'll be fun. Gonna try music I never would listen to on my own, and see where it takes me. Wheeee!!!!!
Believe it or not, but there's two cats there.