Monday, November 23, 2009

Monday Monday

Here's the update.
- I heard nothing from the place re: the job. I am assuming that means that they offered it to someone else and that person is deciding. I am perfectly fine with that.
- Exhibit A will NOT be in J-tree with us. So it's me and M - all by our lonesome, kind of (we'll meet up with some people on various occasions). At first it was a kick in the gut, but then there was a clear sense of relief. If anything happens with the job, I will be making the decision based solely on what I want to do or not do, versus some odd weird hope that something would happen with him. In fact, already the scenario in my head is that I wouldn't get in touch. That's kinda silly...but who knows.
- There was a walk for the homeless this weekend. I wonder how many homeless walked. They should make the walkers move the homeless in wheelbarrows or something like that. I dropped off some clothes from the clothes swap at one place I know hands them out to homeless people rather than some place like Goodwill, and a bunch of homeless people were wearing t-shirts from the walk.
- So, on Thursday went out to dinner with colleagues. I should not have. By the time we were done with dinner and the half hour conversation about children was done, I was done, done, done. One friendly person tried to pull me into the conversation and I said, I'm sorry, I need to leave. I'm sick. I couldn't even make it back walking with them because I just wanted to cry, and did once I left them in the dust. Not very executive director-like.
- There's a psycho person I work with, once removed. The woman who works with her directly is a saint, and I tell her that all the time. The last several days in Atlanta I felt I was acting like the psycho. Especially when I went off crying. (I need to mark this feeling down and not obsess about it, and learn.) The saint noted when I said I felt like I was acting like psycho and said that to her, she didn't agree or disagree, which meant she agreed. "That's what friends are for." And it is. Though it sucks.
- Last interesting thing is that I saw my fireex (Fire-ex) on Saturday for the first time in about 8 years. He wanted to borrow a rug cleaner I had, and I knew something was wrong. We went to lunch, and turns out his girlfriend/partner is moving out after 6 years or some such time. Poor guy. But, it's for the best as he knows. I can only do so much to help him, but/and he'll be fine. The thought did cross my mind that I'd maybe in the future have an option for sex...and no, we will not get together for anything else. We already made that decision a long time ago, and it sticks. We just care about each other a lot. It was funny when he first got out of the car we had the harassment banter - me asking where his confederate flag was, and him asking me where my hippie stickers are. And so on... until we hugged. It was good to see him.
- I didn't get much done around the house, but such is life...


Ananda girl said...

There is something very appealing to me about rolling around the homeless in wheel barrows! Ha. Great image for my Monday morning head. ;-D

laura b. said...

I don't know...all that you have going on might make anyone feel a bit psycho. And recognizing the psycho-ness...doesn't that mean you aren't too terribly far gone? It is when you think you are behaving perfectly normal, but you aren't, that you need to worry.

Susan said...

I never get anything done around the house...and I need to be packing.

Churlita said...

Wow. That's a lot right there.I hope you're able to just go climb in Cali and leave all the crap behind you.

Pamela said...

Ananda, I thought it was a good idea!
Laura, ya know, compared to what life was like a year ago, this feels like nothing.
Susan - pack away!!!
Churlita, I sure will try.