Friday, September 28, 2012

Alternate universes in my backyard

So, on this what would have been my 10th wedding anniversary, I will share with you some interesting knowledge I acquired last night. 

A guy I climb with (NOT the one I go to Tuolumne with) I've known for a while now. He's very direct, frank, open, non-judgemental... He asks very personal questions but you don't mind answering because it's not like he'll laugh in your face or go tell someone.

I was going to say I don't remember how I got on the topic, but now I do. M and I went to his house right before M moved.  I forget why we went, but M and he bonded over his workshop and I finally met the missus. Oh, and he sent me some email afterwards about how he was staring at my boobs.

HUH?

So, next time I saw him I asked him what that was about, and supposedly at some point early on I made some comment to him in jest about why he wasn't commenting on my boobs. Whatever. I made sure to tell him I was not interested in a relationship with him. Or even a quickie. Throughout the course of the evening he let it slip that he and his wife are swingers. So I made it clear that I was not interested in a quickie with his wife either, or both of them together.

But last night I learned a lot about the life. SO ODD. And it's real.
- She had a boyfriend for 6 years. When they were married.
- His wife told him to invite her friend over when she was away. Not to play cards.
- They are going on a cruise together with 1,000 other people. Who swing.
- He and his wife had a third one weekend, and the woman's husband dropped her off at the hotel to spend the night.And they had them over for dinner the next weekend. Only to eat.

And this one I don't agree with him about. I asked him about diseases, and aren't you afraid. He said it's almost impossible odds that you would get AIDS (well, he said you won't... because people get tested). And the only other two to worry about are herpes and hpv. He got herpes several years ago, and used to tell people before doing anything with them. But then realized that noone really gets tested, and some doctors won't even test. So now he doesn't even tell. Since 40% of the population has it and doesn't even know it anyway.  Dont' know that I agree with that, at all. Nope. But, it's not my life.

And just fyi, he said if some person says that his/her spouse have an agreement that they can have sex with others, the only way you really know it's real is if you can ask the spouse that question. Not a surprise I guess. Don't trust the sex addicts! 



5 comments:

laura b. said...

Wow. Well, I guess whatever works for a couple is fine. I am all about monogamy when in a commited relationship, but I realize that isn't for everyone. Or maybe they'd even define monogamy differently.

havematwilltravel said...

Not telling about herpes? Jackass. So what if 40% have type 1, if he knows he has the obligation to tell. Some people will freak out and some people won't care. It's not his call to make.

Swingers and the polyamourous creep me out. I don't get it.

havematwilltravel said...

Perhaps I should add that I'm in that 40% and I tell. I don't want to make decisions for other people.

Tara said...

I'll bet that cruise will be a wild scene. The tag line for the Carnival Cruisline comes to mind, "fun for all". Tee hee.

NoRegrets said...

Laura, yeah, I"m not sure. From what it sounds like, it means him following whatever rules his wife has.

Yeah Squirrel, I know. Makes me really glad I'm not in those circles.

Tara, seriously! Oh, my. Hopefully they don't allow pets on board.