Actually, probably better would be protein.
OK, those both in certain minds and contexts are rather rude. Let me explain what I mean.
I need to eat, frequently. I think I've mentioned that.
Sometimes things get in the way of me eating as I should.
Meltdowns occur, like last night.
Poor M is going nuts getting his place ready. I've been going nuts too trying to help as much as possible. His endurance is greater than mine. I feel bad if I don't keep up with him. I did not eat well before I left and did not feel like I could stop to eat when I got there.
Me: silent and sullen. Him: wondering what the hell is going on and did he do something wrong. Me: not able to communicate much, in between the crying. Him: going nuts trying to get me to say SOMEthing.
Oh, what a bad scenario. And it's happened more than once. I fall back on the 'I don't always/I can't always take care of myself.' Guess I have to get over that one a little more. No, I don't want him to shove food into my mouth. And yes, it would be helpful if he asked if I've eaten and suggest I eat something. There are way too many boring background details to explain why this sometimes/always doesn't work well with us.
Suffice to say, improvements are needed. And we'll work on them.
It's just interesting that last night I had these out of body experiences. My body and half of my mind was working like a 5 year old. I truly felt like I was a little kid. And the adult half was looking at me/ listening to me saying what the hell are you doing?? I took 2 minutes to shove something into my mouth, and 5 minutes later I had a greater ability to communicate.
Thing was, I wasn't feeling great all day. Just kinda down - I even resorted to retail therapy in the middle of the day (end of season 70% off at the local store - that's as high as I can go above thrift stores. I'm way too cheap). So, part of me was wondering if it was depression or something else. In the meantime, I'm lying on the floor in a semi-fetal position, crying (how embarrassing to admit it), or sitting in front of an open fridge shoving food into my mouth. Ugh, how nuts. But again, 5 minutes later, feeling fairly ok.
Food glorious food. And today, maybe, caffeine glorious caffeine. Working out problems in relationships takes way too many minutes/hours.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!