Thursday, April 14, 2011


This morning I was woken up at 6:30 AM by verizon sending me a text message telling me I should sign up for one of their services. While I know there are plenty of people who have to get up at that time for work, I am not one of them. I called and told them never to call me again. I was polite though.

The other day a guy called me (asked for me by last name) and asked me to write a note and put it on a neighbor's door asking him to call that guy. Because I was in the middle of doing budget work and very very frustrated, I just asked the guy questions and asked why he wanted it, was he a creditor, etc. Very personal business he said. He gave me no information so I didn't do it. [I feel bad now, but still think there was something weird.] He got my name and number off the internet.

Late last week I heard a piece on the radio about a woman who has lived to 109. They said and I think I've heard it before that the ability to bounce back from life's issues seems to be a key factor. And a positive attitude. I wrote on FB yesterday, kinda as a joke, that I wish you could buy a positive attitude from a vending machine, but that I probably wouldn't have enough quarters.

I doubt I will live to 109. In the early part of my life I didn't acknowledge the feelings I had. Then I started acknowledging them and getting stuck in them. Now I'm still learning to get over them, but there's still a part of me that wants to wallow, how sad is that. I don't think I care about myself enough to decide to be happy. It shouldn't be for anyone else. It should be for me. Yeah yeah...

There's a part of me that kinda regrets giving close friends information about this blog. Especially when I get uninvited comments like 'you think too much'. I can't control the output of information for some people. And that's why I periodically go through FB and delete people that don't post anything/much and still have the ability to know what I'm doing. I regret it sometimes and if I really regret it I go back and ask the person to take me back, usually saying it was a mistake. Which, I guess it was.

BTW, I'm PMS-ing.


laura b. said...

I suspect you did the right thing ignoring the instructions of the caller. Totally sounds like a creditor...they love getting neighbors to do their job.

I try really hard to be positive, but as you read my blog, you know it doesn't always work out for me. I think you are very self aware and I believe that can be so helpful in life...maybe even more than just blind positivity.

Squirrel said...

I would have done the same thing with the caller. If he wants a note left, he can bloody well do it himself. I am too busy being my own bitch to be anyone else's.

Your four sentence emotional life history sounds a lot like me. Not sure why I haven't decided to be happy... something about it rubs me the wrong way. Wish I knew what it was. I told my therapist the other day that I figured I was about halfway through life. She scoffed and said maybe a third. Either she's awful at math or she's a hell of an optimist.

Mel said...

I'm suspecting you did the right thing for you and for the neighbor.

Frankly, if the phone rings and the number isn't recognized by my cellphone, I do not answer it. I will pick up the voice mail and add whomever it was if they're familiar to me.

I was under the impression that creditors and salesman and that kinda stuff wasn't allowed with cellphones.....I was wrong. *sigh*

NOTHING is sacred. :-/

Churlita said...

I love this post. Who wouldn't be able to relate to it? I will never live to 109, but I'm already older than my mom was when she died, so I figure I'm on borrowed time anyway.

NoRegrets said...

Laura, I don't think anyone can be positive all the time. Unless they are on drugs. Or have a mental illness that perhaps everyone should have.
Squirrel. Hmm.. how can one be one's own bitch? Yeah, happiness is weird for those of us who think too much. You're in your 30's, right? Perhaps 1/3 over with. Me, well, I'm halfway through.
Mel, it was actually my home phone.
Thanks Churlita! Hmm...not sure what parts are completely relatable...

Tara said...

That was a wise thing to ignore that guy's weird request. Pushy, creepy and mysterious. He can do it himself if it's so important or if it's even legit.

I do the same thing on FB. Recently, in fact. Then I requested their "friendship" again.

Don't be ashamed to wallow. I just read a great article by and author who has learned from therapists to "Go through it, not around it" and that crying releases toxins. I should be toxin-free by now, sheesh..