Solace of Open Spaces

Great book.
I wish I could write a line like this one I found in it.

Leaves are verbs that conjugate the seasons.

Saturday Hunt - Expectations

Well, massive amounts of excitement from me that I had the word wrong for this week. I thought it was expectations. Don't ask me where that came from. But given the item I was talking about (see below) excitement does pretty much fit anyway. Unless you need Magnums.

Cleaning out my nightstand drawer, I found these the other day. OK condoms. Just OK - best to keep your expectations lowered, even though they are super strong and super sensitive, according to the packaging. I got these in Vietnam, so not sure my expectations would be very high anyway. And, considering that they expired in October 2004, I don't have any expectations that they will be used.

What have you done for ones you've loved?

I was thinking last night about the impending Valentine's Day, and remembered some of the things I've done for men that really showed how much I loved them. And I'm talking things that aren't so easy - not the buying of lingerie type of deal.

I think the one that takes the cake, so to speak, is when my boyfriend and I were at his sister's. He became violently ill in the middle of the night and projectile vomited in her bathroom all over the place. It wasn't even a question, and I didn't mind too too much because I know how to NOT breathe through my nose, and also quell my own urge to vomit, so I cleaned it.

Also, and this was the biggest one, when the love of my life (though he had long since let me go) came down with Creuzfeld Jacob's disease and I went to visit him in the hospital in LA, I remember sitting with him as he was trying to eat lunch (at that point he was in a wheelchair and had to be fed - though his parents were doing that) and thinking that I'd still love to spend the rest of my life with him, because he was still in there, and you could tell (even though he couldn't speak all that well).

Of course, there are a select few men who I've had relationships with that for whatever reason weren't meant to last, that I truly wish them to be happy with someone. I think there are three total of those. The rest, eh, whatever, though I'm of course glad to know if they are happy.

So, question to you, what have you done for a significant other that really really showed your love? I'm not talking family members or children - just people you have chosen to be with.

Windswept hair and everything else

Biking to work this morning I was reminded of a story a former colleague told. She was biking across the country with some friends and apparently in Kansas especially (you'd think it would be Oklahoma, OK?) the wind gusts would occasionally blow her and her bike over. That would suck. I hope that doesn't happen to me today.

I dressed for the wind - tight red dress. I had to spruce myself up a bit to make me feel better - the damn pain I've had since Sat is not going away. But of course, it hasn't helped that I climbed on Sun, and then moved appliances on Tuesday. Oops. I could do it when I was younger! I also went to a new neurologist on Wed who actually said what my neither my old neurologist, back doctor, chiropractors said. Only my trainer was correct. That my migraines are caused by a pinched nerve. It even has some fancy name. I have a follow up appointment and we'll see if I'm going to live.

Image

Believing, with backup

I actually did it. I managed to disconnect my dishwasher and my gas stove and not flood the place, nor blow it up, nor electrocute myself. When I heard Monday the stove and dishwasher were going to be left for me to deal with I was freaking out, but I called my two helper friends for them to tell me I could do it, and that helped. And they offered to be on call if I needed assistance.

And assistance was needed for the strangest things, and the strangest conversation ensued. OK, M, I'm ready to disconnect the tube from the gas line but I don't know which way I should turn the wrench. It looked gunky, and I figured I'd have to apply force - like step on the damn wrench to open the seal, and it had to be the right direction or else I'd mess everything up. So, me talking about jars and lids and him talking using the official technical language and us not communicating, until finally we connected and I understood.

And so I hung up and opened the seal, and smelled gas. Holy fuck. I managed to close it quickly, and then called the other friend, B, terrified. Oh, btw, there will be some residual gas in the line so you might smell gas. But you might also have a bad valve. OK, so what do I do?? Solution - keep the valve closed and try to turn on the burner. No flame, so no gas, or at least not enough. So, I did it - took it off. And didn't blow up.

As for the dishwasher, I was fine until I couldn't get at the ground wire, and finally said screw it, and cut the entire wire, which made it 4-5 inches shorter, but oh well, I had a time limit, since a friend was coming over to help me get the stove out of the house so I can have Habitat pick the stuff up.

I had called a handyman earlier in the day to ask about uninstalling and reinstalling the stuff, and he called me. I told him I had the stove ok (I put the new stove in place as well as connected the new hose) and was afraid of the dishwasher. He said for him it would be opposite - afraid to do the stove. In any event, he said he's more of a carpenter, so I may need to try the dishwasher myself. But though I finished all this stuff very early, facing and overcoming the fear really wore me out, so I ate stuff I could heat in the microwave, and watched the Biggest Loser. And now it's bedtime...

Thank goodness for fickle women

I love women who decide they want all new appliances because the ones they have are the wrong color. And the appliances are so good they just buy the same ones in black.

Meet my 'new' refrigerator. Please note that though it has a water/ice dispenser, I'm not connecting plumbing to it, so it's just for show and to drive uninvited guests crazy. 'where's the damn water! I need water to rob this house!'

And somewhere there is a stove and a dishwasher that need to be installed.

All for $500. I couldn't NOT get it. I also got a microwave in that pot too. And although my appliances still work, they are older, and having ones that are only 3 years old really make me feel like it's going to be a great kitchen. If I can ever deinstall the old stuff and install the new stuff. Which, I hope to do. But can't do in one night. Like tonight. I did find the breaker for the dishwasher, which is easy, but difficult when you are only one person and have to run up and down the stairs to check each breaker.

WWYD?

I have been thinking about getting another cat, in part to keep Billy company. So I've been looking around craigslist, going to the shelter periodically, etc. Looking around.

I found this 6 year old female cat that a woman was trying to find a home for. Seemed like a nice cat, and I was hoping it was a direct adoption, but no, she was working with a rescue agency to find a home. I had two phone interviews this weekend, and I get an email this morning saying that I was rejected and I can't adopt from this agency.

I know why. When I told the story of Cleo and her diabetes and being unwilling to do daily insulin shots, they asked me specific questions about that. And they noted that it didn't cost that much. For me it was more the quality of life issue, but I also told them I would not be willing to spend $5,000 to save a cat's life because there's just too many cats out there that need homes. I was asked how much I would be willing to spend. What kind of question is that?? When asked what kind of cost I'd incurred in the past, I couldn't think of anything besides a teeth cleaning, but I did spend $55 a 12 lb bag for special food for Cleo.

Apparently, that's not good enough. And thus I am not good enough for that agency. What a crock of crap. Anyway, my question to you is whether you agree with the agency or with me. What would you do (WWYD?) Don't worry, I won't harass you if you don't agree with me - my back is all out of whack and thus if I tried to whack you I'd get hurt, and so I wouldn't want to do that.