Monday, April 14, 2008

That time of the month

Grr... I have a rant. I am sick and tired of bleeding, and it's all for naught. Yeah, people have kids in their 40's, but I'd really have to be on the fast track in some future relationship to have that happen. And so I stick these cancer sticks up into me so I don't worry about bleeding all over the place. And there's years more of it to come. I know women who go on the pill just to stop having a period. Maybe I should do that. Hell, I take enough pills now, what's one more? And then I could find dates on herpeslove.com so I could have sex without condoms. Might be a plan.
[editor's note - I just made that site address up, but of COURSE it exists. ugh]

16 comments:

Susan said...

This will either make you laugh or offend you. I am, of course, aiming for the first:

I read "cancer sticks" and was like "you can use cigarettes for that???!"..

NoRegrets said...

It certainly made me laugh. Hey, you know, the tobacco industry needs to find some other use for all those cigarettes now that they are banning smoking everywhere! Cyber D had one, mine is another.

WNG said...

There's got to be a better way, NoR. Please let me know when you find it.
At least you have Susan to crack you up - b/c that was FUNNY!

NoRegrets said...

Yes, it's good we have each other to make each other laugh.

Actually, I was thinking, I'd prefer to use cigars. :-)

Susan said...

It's like an absorbancy level: Light, Regular and Super Maximum OMG I must be dying cigar level.

NoRegrets said...

Light=those thin woman cigarettes
Regular=regular cigarettes
OMG I'm dying=cigars
OB equivalent=chew

Oh, here's a killer true story. I heard that garlic helped cure yeast infections, so one time I put garlic cloves up my v....

Susan said...

Oh nor...I shall never view garlic the same...

Once, when I was still in a relationship with X his sister in law was over. I asked if she needed anything from the store and she told me to pick up some yogurt for an infection. I asked her what flavor...

WNG said...

YOU.DID.NOT!
Did it work?

NoRegrets said...

It was peeled garlic, by the way.
And no, it didn't work. But, the problem was that I think I used it when I was having my first outbreak of herpes, and the yoghurt didn't work, so I tried that, and of course it didn't work. I wouldn't recommend it. Uncomfortable. Yeah, I'm insane.

WNG said...

That is just too funny. I'm soo glad my boss is upstairs right not or I would've been seriously busted for chortling without a liscense.

Gyuss Baaltar said...

There are some threads I'm just not qualified to comment on.

I'm not even qualified to lurk here.

evil-e said...

Being a guy who has lived with a few females: I know when to shut up, when to duck, and when to stay away!

NoRegrets said...

Aw, come on G... Use your imagination! And also, haven't Q and Cyber and Dagromm accused you of having a vagina before? :-) Ooops, that may sound evil. I didn't mean it that way.

Ah, but Evile, have you done any of those? Oh, I guess you ducked...

Churlita said...

The pill makes me crazy(er). I've just decided to wait it out. Your cigarette/tampon equivalency guide is cracking me up.

The CEO said...

Wow, the sorority goes on over here too! I knew it. I'll bet it's over at Susan's too. I'll have you know I had my own kotex belt after a back operation on the lower spine for a pilinidal cyst. I have always felt like a member of the sisterhood since then. But I think we'll keep that between us.

NoRegrets said...

Churlita, we have Susan to thank for that.

CEO, welcome! You are older than dirt times 2 if you are talking about kotex belts. :-)