Sunday, and stopped in NJ at my mom's so I could break up my ride back home. Half of the ride I was driving in Hannah (somehow that statement seems so wrong, but I'll leave it in), so it was interesting to say the least. I've read a little bit of blogs, but will have to do more later. My kitty calls me - poor thing was left alone for 4 days because of a set of circumstances related to the people taking care of him - so I have to give him attention.
I'll have a bunch o' posts about my vacation.
But first, part of what I wanted to do was to clear my head and find some peace. There are various theories on how to do this, and not sure I found the right one for me, but it was good enough. I decided to not think about my life, I just wanted to experience nature and to a certain extent my family (mom, 2 brothers, sister, nieces, sister in law). I felt a twang as I set up the tent on the deck, since it's my ex-ish's tent and we'll not be sharing it anymore. But for the most part I just existed.
There were a few times when I felt something 'taking care of' me. Or at least something else.
Once when I was sitting on the dock on Friday. My family was all off doing something else, and I sat in a chair reading, getting sun, feeling the wind, and dipping my foot in the water. I looked up occasionally to appreciate the view of the pond/lake, and thought that I really should go swimming one last time, but didn't want to deal with going to the beach (o so far away - like a 5 minute walk) or showering or whatever. So I turned my chair so I could get both feet in the water, leaned forward to get them in, and was promptly dumped in the water by my chair. I had the presence of mind to throw the book on the dock, which was pretty cool, but the rest of me went in. I got right back on the dock and just started laughing, because it really felt like some force was telling me to not be lazy and get your butt in the water.
The second time, I was driving back, it was raining, and I was on the phone with my ex-ish talking about various stuff, and he tells me my lawyer filed for the divorce, and how he was surprised and it didn't feel good. As we're talking, an indicator light goes on in my car. So, we hung up, and I got off the next exit and went to the nearest gas station to stop and see what the light meant, a bit worried needless to say. Thankfully it was just the low tire pressure indicator, and I called my ex-ish back to let him know and get advice on what pressure to put in. And almost started crying talking to him, because I also didn't expect the divorce filing to happen so soon, or had just put it out of my head. After dealing with the tires, with help from my Toyota guy about the light who happened to be at his desk (who's great), I was feeling very sad and wondered who I should call/could call to talk it out, and looked to my right and saw a sign for Del's lemonade. It truly was the one thing that could make me feel better at that moment. It's a RI treasure - the perfect balance of sweet and sour - and I miss it often. I've never seen it outside of RI, and so I went in and got a large and also a sandwich, both of which were the best things for me at the moment, and my sadness went away, thanks I believe in part for forces aligning and me having the presence of mind to notice it.
I drove off into the rain to continue on my trek home.
(Monday starts a new project for me as well as dealing with a week of emails/work not done, so might not post...or rather should not post. And don't yet have internet at home.)