Thursday, August 26, 2010

So far

- Today I have eaten 3 types of fruits: watermelon, mango, and banana.

- I have seen three psychiatrists since the time I've been here trying to find someone I can work with. The first was too... many things - not least amongst them was the fact that he had a couch people could lie on for therapy. Ugh, Freudian. The second was good I thought - engaging, seemed to listen, in a modern office, etc. The third was a woman (good) but required that I do therapy with her and I just didn't get the right vibe and she also needed 1 week notice to cancel an appointment (!!!) or get charged. I chose the second, and went back, and his hackles went up when I challenged what he wanted to do (put me on an antidepressant since I've been off kilter for a while).

What's interesting and I think an indicator is that all three had some kind of weird seating arrangement that made me uncomfortable. #1 had a footstool so he was really comfortable, but the patient was not. #2 sat at a desk higher than the patient. #3 sat below the patient. I just want someone who will seat me at the same level they are and will treat me as an equal.

So, after appointment #2 with #2, I cried all the way home and cried at home and M didn't understand a bit of it. I called my friend Cutiepie's mom, who understands completely, and talked with her today. Today I feel like I can find someone else and I will take the time. Yesterday I was frustrated and felt alone. So, anyone know a good psychiatrist out here??


laura b. said...

Eating fruit sounds more pleasurable than trying to find a new psychiatrist.
I'm afraid I have no recommendations, but it sounds like you have an excellent handle on what will work for you. I have every confidence you'll find the right doctor.

Mel said...

Sadly, no recommendations--except to persevere. And to remember if at first you don't succeed--that's okay.

Churlita said...

I hate it when doctors have to be right instead of listening to the patient. Good luck on your search. I hope you find the right therapist. maybe your old therapist knows of someone in the Bay Area...

NoRegrets said...

Thanks Laura, but it's an exhausting process.
Mel, trying!
Churlita, yeah. He tried to cover it up afterwards, but sorry, didn't work for me. My old therapist graduated from UCSF so working on that.