Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Nah, just sadness.

I was in Maine and around all these people with children. It made me a little sad. I have been trying to make myself feel better by saying I couldn't have dealt with children with all my mental health issues. But, in reality I know that people always deal. And given my current state of mild-ish depression, I just think about how children fill your life, and necessitate an outward focus, instead of me staring at my navel and wallowing in my own state of affairs. I always thought I'd be married and have kids, and it's so sad sometimes that I won't.

So, on a lighter note, we put up a hummingbird feeder on the balcony. I think it took a couple hours for the local hummingbird to find it. It's really nice to watch. Of course he/she is already chasing away another hummingbird. Mine mine mine. I also never knew they sing - it sits on the branch and sings in its raspy voice. Nice.


Churlita said...

That is a tough one. I feel like that about being in a relationship. Living in a college town, the chances of me finding someone to be in a healthy relationship with are pretty slim. usually, I try to focus on the great things I do have, but on my worst days, it can make me sigh an awful lot.

laura b. said...

Well, the kids who do have you in their lives are very fortunate.

I love hummingbirds! I guess that is like saying "I love rainbows"....duh, but you know...