Tuesday, June 12, 2007


OK, after you've taken the big step, jumped off the cliff, how do you land? How do you figure out where to land? How best to do it? Especially if you've never done it before. Listen to your gut, HA! I don't know what my gut is saying. Right now it sounds like gurgle gurgle. How long do I stay away? If I do go back, how do I go back? When? What's the best way? If I go back and things don't work out, that's REALLY it. Of course, I had said this would be it... Why would I fear the longer I stay away the more used to being without him I would be, and thus that would be it. How would that not be making an effort? Wish someone would answer all these questions for me...

I use the metaphor of jumping off a cliff, because I was reading some old journals/poems of mine. Man, I was depressed back then and didn't know how to seek help... But in one poem/writing I wrote about the precipice drawing me near and jumping off, and only by jumping off did I realize I have wings to fly. I went hanggliding once, tandem, and it was one of the best experiences of my life. But jumping off that cliff with the guy was rough.

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