Friday, June 29, 2007

i hate email


I hate email. I hate when you have a deep discussion over email. I hate it because you have NO CONTROL over whether someone responds. And you can send email after email, trying to guess what the hell will spark a response, any response. You come off as a crazy, mad, insane woman if you do send multiple emails and who wants to respond to that??! Granted, it gives you time to think, but what you put down is there in black and white. It's too fucking easy to write something that sticks in the wrong spot, makes a wrong impression. The best you can do is try and speak your mind as you know it, but dammit. You can't read the person's face. You can't hold their hand. You can't slap their face. You can't cry and have them see you cry and thus try and manipulate them. You can't stick out your tongue, and make a funny face to lighten the situation. You get what that person is willing to give and nothing more. Perhaps a brick wall, silence, or some nugget. Which I guess is always the case. You can't drag a person out of themselves. You can only make your case, express yourself, share your emotion, and see what happens. And sometimes it is not to your liking. And sometimes there is NOTHING, which drives me fucking nuts. And sometimes it gives you hope when there is no hope really. And sometimes it is so sweet, you keep the email and look at it when you are feeling down. But in all cases it's so fucking disconnected. As are blogs I suppose. But what do I care since noone is reading this.

5 comments:

Susan said...

I am officially reading it. Your post below about the tears needing to come out was so true. I don't have a door, though, I work in a cube. Sometimes I'll say I have to fix some wiring under the desk and just sit there in dead silence for a good 30 minutes. Email. Ugh. It ranks up there with text messaging.

NoRegrets said...

Oh, I am soooo excited! I realized I needed to reach out some, and did... Still scared to tell friends about it rather than random strangers, but I will...

Susan said...

Strangers are just friends waiting to be made. I only have three people in my "real world" who read my blog. At least, that's all I know of.

Dinah McLeod said...

You wiener.

darwinbignose said...

I'm also reading. And I bookedmarked it...But if it loses meaning when you feel that you start writing for others, instead of for yourself, let me know and I'll delete the bookmark.

I'm honored you felt you could share. As long as I have known you, what this shows me is that there still so much of you to get to know.