Tuesday, January 17, 2012

From a comment on MSNBC article

A guy named David Walker wrote this comment on an article about the debates. I and a bunch of other people thought it was well done. Tongue in cheek and hopefully does not offend too much!

No one has ever seen God. No one has ever touched God. But he sure is a chatty sort of Guy. Billions of people say they have heard Him. I personally know hundreds of people who say they have heard Him. I never did, even when I stood right next to people who said they did, but I sure have heard about Him.

He loves sports, but He seems to have a special fondness for football. Football players talk about Him all the time, and coaches ask for His help. I don't know how He decides which team to help though, especially after He sent Tim Tebow home for the rest of the year, and Tim really likes Him. It's got to be tough to keep from having favorites.

Now, if that's tough, it has to be almost impossible when countries get involved in wars. There just doesn't seem to be anything like a godless nation; well, maybe the U.S.S.R., but look what happened to them. This may not bode well for the Chinese, not a lot of religion going on there either.

However, most other nations do have a God. During WWII, German soldiers swore allegiance to God, and their belt buckles even said, "Gott mit uns." (That means God with us.) Their allies, the Italians had a very close relationship with the Roman Catholic Church and the Pope. You're thinking, "They had an inside track, for sure." Nope. On the other side - the British, Americans, and many more - also had God on their side. How does God pick a winner in these wars?

Fast forward. Jews say they've always been God's favorites. Not true, say Muslims. Christians, which includes Catholics, disagree with both. Someone is wrong, because it's the same God and Jesus says He loves everybody, although he's a bit skeptical about rich people. Meantime, they kill each other. We must give God some serious headaches.

However, through it all, He seems to have kept a sense of humor. He told Rick Perry to run for President. He told George W. Bush to run for President. He told Michelle Bachmann to run. He was a big fan of Sarah Palin. Even if you break his rules, if you're in politics, you get a pass. Newt Gingrich says so. Still don't believe he has a sense of humor? OK! Rick Santorum.

Now, this weekend, a bunch of evangelicals got together. They hate Mormons. (It's a cult they say, not something serious like Holy Rollers, or Pentecostal snake handlers.) Must have been a bad apple in the evangelical barrel, because it looks like someone fiddled around with the voting there. Imagine that! God-fearing Christians tampering with votes.

Here in Kansas, the House Speaker, a Republican named Mike O'Neal, is a real friend of God and can quote His holy book, The Bible. He sent an e-mail to his fellow God-lovers in the House saying, "At last -- I can honestly voice a Biblical prayer for our president! Look it up -- it is word for word! Let us all bow our heads and pray. Brothers and Sisters, can I get an AMEN? AMEN!!!!!!"

Well, I looked up that verse - Psalm 109:8. It says, "Let his days be few; and let another take his office." Politicians are all the time complaining about having their words taken out of context. God probably feels the same way, so I looked up the next verse, 109:9. It says, "May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow." Like I said, God doesn't talk to me, but I've heard that His Golden Rule is to "Love Thy Neighbor". I think Mr. O'Neal isn't feeling the love. I'm going out on a limb on this, but I just can't imagine God likes it when someone comes and asks Him to kill the President for no good reason. The President loves God, too.

What with humans being such a fickle bunch, it's a really great idea the founders of this country had when they said we shouldn't mix religion into our government. We should try really, really hard to stop asking God to get involved.. God didn't make the mess. We did. There's a whole lot of other things that need His attention. For starters, He really needs to have a chat with Mr. O'Neal.


Mel said...


I might have to read this a second and possibly a third time.

silly rabbit said...

That is funny! Obviously Mr. Walker isn't a particularly religious person.

While Mr. Walker plays devil's advocate on the subject of God... let me answer his question for him:

How can any parent choose one child in his family to love? A good father would love and support all of his children. Duh.

(Ha! Couldn't resist!) =;]

Anonymous said...


laura b. said...

Funny :)