Saturday, January 14, 2012

Sometimes things work out

The way they do.

For the best? Who knows.

In the case of my dentist, being fired was apparently a good thing. I went to the other dentist Friday. Showed up, very very anxious, and she was very nice. Very blunt in a nice way. When I mentioned I have psychological issues as a way to explain why I was so anxious, she said "well, you should have your medication checked then." I have no idea why I was so bad, but I was, even though I thought I was fine all the rest of the day. In any event, she went in, found the rough spot, realized that there was also a little cavity, filled that, and voila! no rough spot.

In the case of work, well, I'm not sure yet, even now. I'm running up against stuff that makes me really uncomfortable, and I have to figure out what to do. Uncomfortable only because it's way outside my comfort zone in terms of risk - in fact it pushes that button BIG time. Meaning I have to believe in the difficult and carry others along with conviction. So NOT me. So the ANTITHESIS of me. So what I would like to be but am not. So, do I try to change and feel like shit if I can't do it (which I've already been doing, but that's another story) or do I accept who I am? Is it caving to acknowledge and go with it, or is it smart to be aware and respond to it?



Tara said...

I think it's both healthy and smart to not only accept who you are, but also to acknowledge and go with it. Sometimes it is good to give ourselves a little push outside of our comfort zones. There's a powerful feeling as a result. If anything, you know that you tried, no matter what the outcome.

laura b. said...

I admire the way you have been so thoughtful in your job search. If I should ever find myself job hunting again, I am sure I will take the first thing that comes along in a panic!
You have a good intuition for what will make you happy and fulfilled...just keep going with it.

NoRegrets said...

Hi Tara...well, I kinda feel I didn't try enough. I ran. But, I have to live with it now. I reacted the way I reacted.

Laura, well, I have a little bit of a safety net, but I'm feeling a little bad about it all right now.