My friend with the airplane and I went on some adventures this past weekend. He made a comment about feeling uncomfortable with me in the plane. I asked him why yesterday, and not surprisingly, part of it was because of my issue with motion sickness - me barfing in the plane. But not necessarily because of the barf, but more because it means I'm not enjoying it as much as him. I told him that noone can enjoy it as much as him, but also that I'm still getting used to it. When we ran through turbulence this time, I wasn't scared. But I was in the past.
And that got me thinking about wondering if my whole life is about standing up to my fears. My fear of being alone (learning how to be social), my fear of being social (my fear that noone will like me), the fear that noone will like me (speaking my mind in spite of it), the fear of speaking my mind (getting in touch with what I'm thinking and doing the best I can), my fear of not being perfect (learning how to relax the standards, given that I am human), the fear of being human (learning that I have limitations), the fear of having limitations (focusing on the things I CAN do), fearing things I do not yet know how to do or have enough (recent) experience in (taking it slowly)....
I could go on.
People are sometimes surprised to hear how much fear I have. How much anxiety. My adaption is taking things slowly. Recognizing when I'm uncomfortable, and slowing it down. I sometimes get too wrapped up in fear - like when something new has to be addressed, like riding in a small plane, getting a different kind of migraine, etc. And I have to get over it. Some things take more time than others. There are some I've given up trying to get over - like riding a horse - given everything else there is to do in life. But I can't stop addressing the fears inherent in how I deal with myself and my relationships. I gotta keep trying.