Hi all - due to some internal turmoil happening here in my life, I'm making a pact with myself to only check email and all the associated virtual friendship things outside of work. Or maybe only check stuff at lunch. I have to get used to this new way of life, and feel a bit sad about it, but it must be done I believe. So, if I don't visit or talk as much, that's why.
- my boss basically told me she's at her wits end with me. Tried all she could. If she could, she'd divorce me I think. Not all of it are my issues - she comes with her own baggage as with any relationship, but I have to make additional effort.
- this comes on the tail of me having yet another pms/bipolar induced irritated,etc. time, where I feel I can't control it, and tried to adjust (by closing door, etc.) but it wasn't enough, so I need some new methods
- in the middle of this angst of is it me or is it the disease and how much can I control and what can I do, I have my therapist give me in a session the old 'well, if you want to just rely on the meds, go ahead, be my guest'. My brain was soooo confounded and didn't know what to do, to clear my head I slammed my hand into the radiator in front of her. Never done that in front of anyone and it surprised the hell out of her. 'I can see you are frustrated. did that make yu feel better' I just answered 'I quit. Not sure if I'll be back' And I don't want to go back. I have tools and I'm sick of her doing shit like that. But, they always say in therapy that you have to work things out. So, we'll see.
My life. In a very big nutshell.