Monday, October 19, 2009

Perfectionism

Thanks all for your words of wisdom/thoughts. I just sometimes get overwhelmed by imperfection. Can you guess I used to be a perfectionist? Is it really possible to say that? Used to be? I like to think so. I've given it up over the years, sometimes tipping a little too far into the non-perfectionist side. Not sure that was really the case here. And not sure that I can go blame bipolar disorder 2. Truth is, I have to start stepping up to the plate more. And as I've mentioned, it's only recently that I've felt I can. Am able to. To the extent possible. Because I have good medication, but the other things rear their ugly heads. Like perfectionism. Or lack thereof. Or is it self flagellation? A little bit of that too. But I made it through the day. The world did not come to an end yet. I resisted the urge to avoid the issues and my parts in them. And I'll deal with it over the next couple days. I make it sound like I've killed someone, when all I've really done is not paid enough attention to budget reports. That are now late and impacting funds available. But truly it's not the end of the world. And lessons have been learned. I need to write them down...never forget! And move on.

I was going to write about my weekend, but I'll let that slide another day. It's late. Hope everyone is well.

8 comments:

Tara said...

Get a great night's sleep, things will look better tomorrow.

I feel like I'm a perfectionist with some things, but then one mistake on my part kind of bruises my self esteem a bit. My manager's boss told him during my review that we've had perfect audits of our files. I wanted to kick her and hug her for saying that.

Churlita said...

Sleep. It helps with a lot of things. I'm not the biggest perfectionist, but I've been known to beat myself up emotionally a time or two about stupid things I did or said.

Ananda girl said...

I'm obsessive. It doesn't have to be about perfection, but sometimes I just can't let go of things. I have to agree with Churlita... sleep does help. Do something nice for yourself too... a long hot bath.

laura b. said...

Sounds like you are in a really healthy place. Even though the work situation seems less than ideal, you are handling it well. I think that counts for a lot.

Mel said...

Yup....
AFGO (another freaking growth opportunity) moments are what they are.

I don't like mistakes that affect people around me.
I don't mind if it affects me--I mind if others have to pay a price for my error. And I don't like being the cause of that.

I'd say AFGO's suck, but I know the end result is growth of a good kind. They just suck when I'm in the middle of 'em!

Deep breath, pull yourself up and keep moving ma'am. AFGO's get to happen.

(you can borrow my 'RAWR' if it helps any.....LOL)

Susan said...

I'm sure today will be a bit better for you. :)

Sebastien said...

Pamela, my mom read a great book on the stresses of perfection. She recommended it to me but I never got around to it, I wish WISH I could remember the name. Will try asking my mom, maybe she remembers.

Perfectionism can be fun, I mean, I like the ambition it forces upon you, and that you end up expecting a lot of yourself and many times you will be surprised by what you can accomplish. The flip side, obviously is never being satisfied and burning one's self out both physically and emotionally.

Keep hanging in there!!! btw, I can't remember if I mentioned this, but I am so impressed by your rock climbing adventures. Sooo cool. I could never do it, I'm a scaredy cat (or scaredy bear), hehe.

PS. I agree with all your visual advice! thank you. The lightning bear shirt was my 1st one so I wasn't sure how things would turn out, I'm def. going to do it on black, will be lots of fun. Since I've gotten good advice from you guys (and you!), I can't wait to post floating bear and kids image for your ideas. I like that I can trust my blogging buddies for advice!!!

Pamela said...

Yes T and C. The did look better tomorrow. Um,, I mean today.

Ananda, the problem is my bathtub sucks and the water doesn't get hot enough. But I do love baths otherwise.

Laura, yes, that is true.

Mel, though I might use another word for 'F', I agree.

Susan, how cna you be so sure? Do you read the future? Taht would be cool.

Sebastien, see, I've mostly given it up in deeds but not in expectation. That causes a lot of stress, for sure. Sometimes.