In the past week I've encountered examples of how I feel the responsibility to make other people happy. I have to stop that, and realize that it's everyone's individual responsibility to obtain their own happiness. I can be a mentor. I can listen. But I cannot create happiness for someone else.
Example 1: I climbed with my ex on Saturday. He was talking again about he has no friends, and now noone to climb with either. And said something about going to see a movie sometime. And asked about climbing with my friend B and me on Mon/Wed. I felt a little suffocated, but also sorry for him and wanted to help him out. I sent some email later that day and we had some back and forth that led him to ultimately call me. And he reminded me that I'm not responsible for making him happy. It made me cry, because I really want people I care about to be happy.
Example 2: This one was so friggin' convoluted. S is a woman who was at J-tree last year with another friend. I want to climb with her someday on a trip. I mentioned J-tree to her this year before plans were being made. M is the one who owns the house. Exhibit A had mentioned how he would like to see S again. So I sort of created a mess because I don't really know her well enough to push to have her at J-tree (ie twist M's arm), and M kinda wanted a small group this year. And she's a climbing fool and will do anything to climb. So I told her to sort of invite herself, and that went over poorly. And I finally had to tell M that I was responsible for the chaos. Ack, you likely don't understand this one, but let me just say it was hard for me to admit my part in it all since I thought M would be mad at me and I thought I had created stress for him. And I almost cried talking to him.
Sigh. I need to just work on making myself happy.