Friendships

As the numerology thingie below indicates, friendships are very important to me. I've been meaning to write about this, and though it means three posts in one day (horror), two of which are not climbing related (oh, double horror), I'm writing.

It used to be that friends in my life were all or nothing. Either I could tell you everything about myself and what was in my heart/mind, or I couldn't share anything with you. And if I made a friend, I'd bend over backwards to keep up that friendship.

I realized over time that not everyone can be a close friend. And even close friendships can fade over time, or go through cycles. And I could have a friend who was close in one area of my life but not others. In a sense I learned to relax about it. Or perhaps I grew up - not sure which it is. Or maybe I just starting losing my energy.

Two of my closest friends moved away several years ago (to actually the same city), and I've been struggling since then to get new close friends near where I live. It takes me time to trust and be comfortable. I think I've gotten a few friends, and I'm very grateful.

But I realize I am not always relaxed about making friends. I have expectations I don't communicate because I know that it's not appropriate to, given the level of friendship that exists. And I have to be patient for something to develop, and that's not always easy for me. I can jump the gun and share too much, or even give up too easily. And gotta get over that... Wish me luck.