I want to acknowledge the support of my friends (email and in person) who helped me during my time of decisionmaking and during my time away from my husband by giving me a place to hang my hat. These people listened to me, gave feedback, lobbied strongly for me to listen to myself, told their own stories, were open-minded (but sometimes lobbied for me to leave), and completely supported me no matter what I decided. I want to thank them profusely. I am indeed lucky to have such good friends.
And example email from one person who lobbied hard for me to stay away:
'Back "home," you say. Interesting, and not, I must admit, surprising. You are a sticker, I'll say that for you. Good? Bad? Who can say. I know that when a very talented friend of both my son and his wife put together a series of photographs of them and projected them unto the wall of the dining room, after the wedding, I gasped when I realized that I had taken all of the ones of C and of my daughter, J, when C was first born, and, I tell you, emotions do get mixed up like scrambled eggs sometimes, and life can be quite staggering. All I can do is hope you do the right thing for you, love.'
It's much harder than you may think to figure out what is the right thing for oneself.
BTW, for inquiring minds who want to know, I'm not giving any update on how things are going, because I've vowed to myself to make no decisions or analysis for a while. Go with the flow as it were.