OK, I think I've been pondering enough, and this is my conclusion. My meltdown was about a lot of things:
- skydiving and feeling inadequate
- being a supervisor and feeling inadequate in the role
- having my performance review Tues. and feeling/knowing my performance has been inadequate
- being at home with my husband and having things be better but perhaps still inadequate (do I care that he's away?)
- being around friends with recent babies or up and coming babies and feeling inadequate (41 and married and no baby)
- needing to make a queen size quilt in 3 months, and feeling inadequate because I haven't started the damn thing yet
Notice a trend? :-) It all combines to being overwhelmed, and skydiving is the most intense thing thus I can blame it all on that. I've self medicated with dark chocolate today, and will move forward (okay Susan?! :-) ) I don't want to get stuck.