Monday, January 7, 2008
There was a time in my life when I split my life into three pieces with respect to men. I had three men in my life covering three different set of needs, and none of them was my boyfriend - I didn't technically have a boyfriend at the time.
Guy #1: Ex who I couldn't disconnect from in part because of a weird dynamic and my low self esteem, and with whom I did outdoorsy type activities.
Guy #2: Ex who I didn't want to completely disconnect from with whom I had a good friendship and great sex.
Guy #3: Married guy who I connected emotionally/intellectually with, with whom I never had sex.
I sometimes try to psychoanalyze myself and wonder what that meant. Simply screwed up? Takes more than one man to satisfy me? So lacking in self confidence/need so much attention I have to get it from multiple men? I still wonder sometimes.
In the end, I managed to get rid of guy #1. Guy #2 and I connected whenever both of us were available. We did try to date again, and it just didn't work. I had dumped him the first time, and he dumped me the second, so we both had turns. Guy #3 realized that he couldn't/shouldn't be that close to someone who wasn't his wife, and so we stopped intense contact.