While I think the life I've worked towards is what it is, for better and for worse, it's still hard sometimes to get the question: why did you get divorced? Did you do everything you could do?
I mean, for this particular person I couldn't just say shut the hell up, in part because there was a need to figure out his own marriage and he just needed someone to listen (shit, what is it with me and front door guys?). He's a good guy, and pretty blunt, and not after me at all - this I know for sure - as opposed to other door guy. And the other other door guy who I've stopped speaking to who wouldn't stop making suggestive comments despite me telling him not to.
In any event.
Time goes by, and while I don't like being alone, I like it more than being married to my ex. I guess that says it all. But to try and explain my years of trying to make it work, our inability to come to common ground, the feeling of being alone when with him, my giving up of myself, my struggle with depression and apparently bipolar disorder and the impacts of those on a relationship.... well, it's just hard to do. I spend time with my ex and it's easier, but still not easy.
I do know I had my part in it all not working. My impatience, know it all attitude, etc. didn't help. But I did the best I could at the time. And I like him more and more that I spend time with him, but can't imagine being married to him. I guess that says something too.