I wish when removing the tile I had tapped the wall instead of pounding it, then maybe I wouldn't have a hole.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Saturday Hunt - Tapped
I wish when removing the tile I had tapped the wall instead of pounding it, then maybe I wouldn't have a hole.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Senility Prayer
THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Mr. Right - 9th Grade
I guess a couple times in my lifetime I've tried to describe what my Mr. Right would be. Well, tonight as I was searching for photos to offset some evil ugly photos that former high school classmates posted on Facebook, I started looking through some old journals.
My freshman year in high school I drew a really bad outline of a man. Lines went to different parts of his body and noted what they should be. It's very interesting that I only wrote about physical attributes, but hey, whatever.
So, my 9th grade Mr. Right starting from the top:
- brown or black/dark straight or curly hair [how's that for a firm decision?]
- brown eyes
- long eyelashes
- proportional ears [where the hell did I get this stuff from?]
- straight nose
- nice lips
- beard or mustache probably
- shoulders [good that he have shoulders]
- strong arms preferably
- chest hair - either/or
- belly button - inny
- not too much flab (waist)
- nice smooth or rough hands [lordy, again with the decisiveness] for holding hands
- [crotch area] well, let there be something there [oh, how naive was I?]
- [legs] strong preferably
- proportioned feet
I also had a thought bubble coming from his head that said Hi! I'm Pamela's Mr. Right. Just so you were all clear.
My freshman year in high school I drew a really bad outline of a man. Lines went to different parts of his body and noted what they should be. It's very interesting that I only wrote about physical attributes, but hey, whatever.
So, my 9th grade Mr. Right starting from the top:
- brown or black/dark straight or curly hair [how's that for a firm decision?]
- brown eyes
- long eyelashes
- proportional ears [where the hell did I get this stuff from?]
- straight nose
- nice lips
- beard or mustache probably
- shoulders [good that he have shoulders]
- strong arms preferably
- chest hair - either/or
- belly button - inny
- not too much flab (waist)
- nice smooth or rough hands [lordy, again with the decisiveness] for holding hands
- [crotch area] well, let there be something there [oh, how naive was I?]
- [legs] strong preferably
- proportioned feet
I also had a thought bubble coming from his head that said Hi! I'm Pamela's Mr. Right. Just so you were all clear.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Movies
Well, since I was sick and karma finally found my remote for my dvd player, which really doesn't make a difference since I can't sit across the room and use it because of the way my electronic crap is set up, but does make a difference because I can't choose the extra stuff on the dvd's since I have such a cheap player it doesn't have buttons to do that... wait, where was I?
Oh, so I watched some movies.
Eagle Eye: pretty good mindless action movie
Tropic Thunder: really well done, and friggin' hilarious in spots. It's too bad it was marketed to teenage boys, because it might have done better in the box office. Or did it do well and I just missed it? it got all this press because of the use of the word 'retarded' and how they approached people with mental disabilities. yes, I understand, but it made sense for the movie. and it got all this press about a white man playing a black man, but it made sense for the movie and they really really handled it well. and it was one of those movies I thought about the next day, and finally got something and laughed out loud so I looked like a crazy woman.
Finally, one I did not see but was invited to. My friends went to see it on a sunny Sunday early afternoon and I just needed to be outside after being cooped up in the house for sickness. I MUST see it, and so must you. I joined them for food afterwards and my one friend greeted me with a double peace sign (both hands). It really makes you long for and perhaps work for peace, apparent. Oh, the name of the movie is Waltz with Bashir. See the trailer below. Amazingly done. MUST SEE.
Oh, so I watched some movies.
Eagle Eye: pretty good mindless action movie
Tropic Thunder: really well done, and friggin' hilarious in spots. It's too bad it was marketed to teenage boys, because it might have done better in the box office. Or did it do well and I just missed it? it got all this press because of the use of the word 'retarded' and how they approached people with mental disabilities. yes, I understand, but it made sense for the movie. and it got all this press about a white man playing a black man, but it made sense for the movie and they really really handled it well. and it was one of those movies I thought about the next day, and finally got something and laughed out loud so I looked like a crazy woman.
Finally, one I did not see but was invited to. My friends went to see it on a sunny Sunday early afternoon and I just needed to be outside after being cooped up in the house for sickness. I MUST see it, and so must you. I joined them for food afterwards and my one friend greeted me with a double peace sign (both hands). It really makes you long for and perhaps work for peace, apparent. Oh, the name of the movie is Waltz with Bashir. See the trailer below. Amazingly done. MUST SEE.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Orkid
Ya know, giving someone an orchid as a gift is kinda like giving a puppy. They require a lot of attention to live. Seems to me something else would be better. (There's one on the front desk of the suite for some guy who works here.)
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Saturday Hunt - Misunderstanding
So, for the past week and maybe even two there's been a bit of water in front of my place and since it's been cold it's been very icy. You can tell it comes from two doors up the street. I was somewhat irritated, since at first it seemed like they were doing some construction and were just irresponsible to let so much water run off.
Thursday when I was home sick I hear a couple raps on my door. My 92 year old neighbor was checking in since my main door was ajar (I leave it open for the cat to look out - so much for energy savings since the outside one really insulates not at all). She also wanted to tell me news she had found out. The neighbor it turns out has a spring under her house, and water has been seeping into her basement and around the house - she so far has spent thousands to try and rectify it - and Thursday there were yet again people out there working on it.
So, I'm glad I didn't get too upset about my initial misunderstanding. It would have been bad karma.
BTW, thanks for the well wishes. Having had a migraine gave me license to take it easy yesterday - naps, movies, reading books, and minimal errands. Hopefully today is the last day of feeling a little out of kilter (end of my other sickness).
Saturday, January 24, 2009
saturday audio hunt - misunderstanding
You knew this was coming.
I'll do the real one later. I had a rough night - evil evil migraine... Gotta go recuperate.
I'll do the real one later. I had a rough night - evil evil migraine... Gotta go recuperate.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Ah, sweet mystery of life
Actually, no mystery at all. I solved one issue by actually talking with a friend. Yes, I make her uncomfortable sometimes because she knows I get upset when I'm around my ex, and doesn't like to see me hurt. OK, so, does that mean I don't talk to her about it? Likely not. And she needs to make sure it doesn't seem like she HAS to have both he and I together at the same time, so will sometimes NOT invite me over when she's inviting him over, and vice versa. Damn, she puts a lot of thought into it - a very good friend. Though I would prefer if she got over the seeing me hurt thing, but then she'd be a zombie, and it'd be hard to be friends with a zombie because I'd always be afraid of losing some flesh.
I was going to post a picture of snot, but instead found a band named Snot. enjoy!
I was going to post a picture of snot, but instead found a band named Snot. enjoy!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Sybill
As I sit here and my fever returns and I get set to return to my bed, I need to get something off my chest.
I feel like Sybill - if that's how you spell her name. The woman with multiple personalities. There's a part of me that really wants to retreat from the world. That feels like she should start over and create literally a whole new life for herself here. Give up the friends that exist. Climb different evenings. Don't reach out any more. Let them all go.
And another part that finds that silly, but doesn't know what's best. Wants to find the rules of the game so she can play it right, but there are no rules. Feels what she feels and doesn't know what to do with it. Like the friend who helped her through leaving the husband but who now is her husband's climbing partner for the most part and doesn't speak to me - do I let that go passively? actively? let it be a surface relationship? reach out again? What do I do with the feelings of jealously? Or of disappointment when other close friends invite my ex and another friend over for dinner but not me? Have I created animosity or difficulties? Do I care? Should I care?
Is my irritation today because of sickness? Because of medication/disease? Because I am being childish? Because I haven't exercised in a week? How do I figure out what's what?
I tell myself one minute it's ok to be alone. And another minute that it's not.
I'm ok with all the chaos and emotions one minute. And another minute not.
I'm willing to work to reach out one minute. And another minute not.
I don't like this particular roller coaster. And dammit, I don't want to hear it that it's in my power to get off of it. I hate having the power if I don't have the energy. I hate reading a blog of someone who's dying and thinking I need to/have to/should learn a lesson and listen to it when I don't want to or again, don't feel I have the energy. And I can choose not to. Am I choosing misery or am I just confused? I don't know.
One thing at least right now which I'm very proud of - I'm not even thinking about suicide. It's more thoughts about how radical of a change in life I want/need. Of what changes I have control over and which not. It's confusion and not desolation.
I hear my bed calling me.
I feel like Sybill - if that's how you spell her name. The woman with multiple personalities. There's a part of me that really wants to retreat from the world. That feels like she should start over and create literally a whole new life for herself here. Give up the friends that exist. Climb different evenings. Don't reach out any more. Let them all go.
And another part that finds that silly, but doesn't know what's best. Wants to find the rules of the game so she can play it right, but there are no rules. Feels what she feels and doesn't know what to do with it. Like the friend who helped her through leaving the husband but who now is her husband's climbing partner for the most part and doesn't speak to me - do I let that go passively? actively? let it be a surface relationship? reach out again? What do I do with the feelings of jealously? Or of disappointment when other close friends invite my ex and another friend over for dinner but not me? Have I created animosity or difficulties? Do I care? Should I care?
Is my irritation today because of sickness? Because of medication/disease? Because I am being childish? Because I haven't exercised in a week? How do I figure out what's what?
I tell myself one minute it's ok to be alone. And another minute that it's not.
I'm ok with all the chaos and emotions one minute. And another minute not.
I'm willing to work to reach out one minute. And another minute not.
I don't like this particular roller coaster. And dammit, I don't want to hear it that it's in my power to get off of it. I hate having the power if I don't have the energy. I hate reading a blog of someone who's dying and thinking I need to/have to/should learn a lesson and listen to it when I don't want to or again, don't feel I have the energy. And I can choose not to. Am I choosing misery or am I just confused? I don't know.
One thing at least right now which I'm very proud of - I'm not even thinking about suicide. It's more thoughts about how radical of a change in life I want/need. Of what changes I have control over and which not. It's confusion and not desolation.
I hear my bed calling me.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
More cell phone nonsense
OK, so I blocked text messages from web and email sites. But then I get a message tonight from a phone number that I don't know, and it actually is the second one in a couple days from that number. Like an idiot I call it, and there's some raucous music and a beep. Oh, and I think I happened to leave a message something like 'fuck you'. Yeah, I'm not smart, especially when I'm sick. And then I get another txt message back saying 'ya rang?'. ARG!
Thankfully a friend happened to call to ask how paypal works (he needs to catch up to the modern era...) and he said to just call the company and they'll stop it. And so I did - they list it as a harassing phone number.
Thing is, I wonder if whoever this idiot is will just pass my number on. I really like my cell phone number and I don't want to have to change it. But I guess I would if I had to. It's one of the problems with having only a cell - I don't have a home phone. Is there any smart way to deal with handing out phone numbers when you sign up for various shit? Should I just be handing out my work number?
Sigh, thanks for any advice you have. I have to go lay my snot laden body down and sleep now.
Thankfully a friend happened to call to ask how paypal works (he needs to catch up to the modern era...) and he said to just call the company and they'll stop it. And so I did - they list it as a harassing phone number.
Thing is, I wonder if whoever this idiot is will just pass my number on. I really like my cell phone number and I don't want to have to change it. But I guess I would if I had to. It's one of the problems with having only a cell - I don't have a home phone. Is there any smart way to deal with handing out phone numbers when you sign up for various shit? Should I just be handing out my work number?
Sigh, thanks for any advice you have. I have to go lay my snot laden body down and sleep now.
Interesting
From a listserv I'm on:
Don't know if you've seen this YouTube movie yet or not, but it runs thru the portraits of all 44 U.S. Presidents one by one.
Watch their eyes - it's amazing how they kept the eyes in almost the exact same position as each one morphs into the next.
Link:
http://www.flixxy.com/presidents-morphing.htm
Don't know if you've seen this YouTube movie yet or not, but it runs thru the portraits of all 44 U.S. Presidents one by one.
Watch their eyes - it's amazing how they kept the eyes in almost the exact same position as each one morphs into the next.
Link:
http://www.flixxy.com/presidents-morphing.htm
Woe is me
Since I have no husband to roll over and poke, I will whine here. I was searching for a 24 hour pharmacy but it's too far away and too cold to go out and get medicine. I need sudaphed but will have to try straight pain reliever. Sick sick sick. I thought I had it beat but it fought back when I wasn't looking.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
How to block cellphone spam
Well, maybe I'm the only person left in the universe who doesn't have a txting plan, and thus I pay per text message. But, that's me, and I've gotten two spam txt messages in the past couple days, and I refuse to continue paying for them. Mind you, this started after I ordered something from Amazon.com - which has pissed me off incredibly to begin with and I would not be surprised if this txt spam comes somehow through them (it's all a conspiracy!).
Anyway, found a great article on the web on how to block cellphone spam, at least through AT&T and Verizon.
* AT&T: Log in at mymessages.wireless.att.com. Under Preferences, you’ll see the text-blocking and alias options. Here’s also where you can block messages from specific e-mail addresses or Web sites.
* Verizon Wireless: Log in at vtext.com. Under Text Messaging, click Preferences. Click Text Blocking. You’re offered choices to block text messages from e-mail or from the Web. Here again, you can block specific addresses or Web sites. (Here’s where you set up your aliases, too.)
Here's the full blog post which explains things much better than I ever could since I don't really understand it.
Anyway, found a great article on the web on how to block cellphone spam, at least through AT&T and Verizon.
* AT&T: Log in at mymessages.wireless.att.com. Under Preferences, you’ll see the text-blocking and alias options. Here’s also where you can block messages from specific e-mail addresses or Web sites.
* Verizon Wireless: Log in at vtext.com. Under Text Messaging, click Preferences. Click Text Blocking. You’re offered choices to block text messages from e-mail or from the Web. Here again, you can block specific addresses or Web sites. (Here’s where you set up your aliases, too.)
Here's the full blog post which explains things much better than I ever could since I don't really understand it.
Change
A much less world-altering change than what is occurring now, but it affects my world. I finally have what is starting to look like a kitchen.
And the floor.
And the floor.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Movie Answers
Grease
It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's what you do with your dancin' shoes.
32 Short Films about Glenn Gould
Wanted: friendly, companionably reclusive, socially unacceptable, alcoholically abstemious, tirelessly talkative, zealously unzealous, spiritually intense, minimally turquoise, maximally ecstatic moon, seeks moth or moths with similar qualities for purposes of telephonic seduction, Tristanesque trip-taking, and permanent flame-fluttering, no photos required, financial status immaterial, all ages and non-competitive vocations considered, applicants should furnish sets of sample conversation with notarized certification of marital disinclination, references re: low decibel vocal consistency, itinerary and sample receipts from previous successfully completed out-of-town moth flights, all submissions treated confidentially...
Harold and Maude
A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life.
Sound of Music
Now, when I want you, this is what you will hear.
Finding Nemo
I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I, I can't remember... and I can't remember...
Shrek
Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
40 year old virgin
You know how I know you’re gay?
Princess Bride
INCONCEIVABLE.
Being John Malkovich
I have seen a world that NO man should see!
Enchanted
You know most normal people get to know each other before they get married. They date.
Beetlejuice
In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.
Nightmare Before Christmas
You've poisoned me for the last time, you wretched girl!
Bride of Frankenstein
I've been cursed for delving into the mysteries of life!
Heat
You don't live with me, you live among the remains of dead people. You sift through the detritus, you read the terrain, you search for signs of passing, for the scent of your prey, and then you hunt them down. That's the only thing you're committed to. The rest is the mess you leave as you pass through.
Das Boot
I... really wanted to screw my brains out. But now, I am not in the condition to fuck!
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
This means something. This is important.
Amadeus
They're all so beautiful. Why don't I have three heads?
The Sting
If I didn't know you better, I'd swear you had some class!
It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's what you do with your dancin' shoes.
32 Short Films about Glenn Gould
Wanted: friendly, companionably reclusive, socially unacceptable, alcoholically abstemious, tirelessly talkative, zealously unzealous, spiritually intense, minimally turquoise, maximally ecstatic moon, seeks moth or moths with similar qualities for purposes of telephonic seduction, Tristanesque trip-taking, and permanent flame-fluttering, no photos required, financial status immaterial, all ages and non-competitive vocations considered, applicants should furnish sets of sample conversation with notarized certification of marital disinclination, references re: low decibel vocal consistency, itinerary and sample receipts from previous successfully completed out-of-town moth flights, all submissions treated confidentially...
Harold and Maude
A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life.
Sound of Music
Now, when I want you, this is what you will hear.
Finding Nemo
I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I, I can't remember... and I can't remember...
Shrek
Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
40 year old virgin
You know how I know you’re gay?
Princess Bride
INCONCEIVABLE.
Being John Malkovich
I have seen a world that NO man should see!
Enchanted
You know most normal people get to know each other before they get married. They date.
Beetlejuice
In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.
Nightmare Before Christmas
You've poisoned me for the last time, you wretched girl!
Bride of Frankenstein
I've been cursed for delving into the mysteries of life!
Heat
You don't live with me, you live among the remains of dead people. You sift through the detritus, you read the terrain, you search for signs of passing, for the scent of your prey, and then you hunt them down. That's the only thing you're committed to. The rest is the mess you leave as you pass through.
Das Boot
I... really wanted to screw my brains out. But now, I am not in the condition to fuck!
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
This means something. This is important.
Amadeus
They're all so beautiful. Why don't I have three heads?
The Sting
If I didn't know you better, I'd swear you had some class!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday Hunt - Maintenance
So, on this long weekend for some of us, and even longer weekend for fewer of us, it's a great time for maintenance.
Weekly maintenance of doing laundry:
And some longer term maintenance such as sealing off this gap so not quite so much cold air comes in. That's a close up of my basement door and the door frame and the space between it -- you should not be able to see the light of day.
Weekly maintenance of doing laundry:
And some longer term maintenance such as sealing off this gap so not quite so much cold air comes in. That's a close up of my basement door and the door frame and the space between it -- you should not be able to see the light of day.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Make the World Go Away
Sing it Eddie (introduced by Minnie Pearl):
Not climbing doesn't make it go away, it just means you're stuck in your own little world in your head. Sitting in front of the tv for two hours doesn't make it go away. It just puts it on hold. Overeating doesn't make it go away - it just makes you fat. Sleeping doesn't make it go away - it just brings a new day. Going to therapy doesn't make it go away - it just shines a light on it.
What is therapy for these days? Not sure. It's just been too long since I've been - a whole month. A month in which a lot has happened emotionally and which I've had to handle 'on my own'. So I list my accomplishments and don't have time for the sadness. Which hangs around and doesn't go away, completely at least.
I need to get to this, on my own:
Not climbing doesn't make it go away, it just means you're stuck in your own little world in your head. Sitting in front of the tv for two hours doesn't make it go away. It just puts it on hold. Overeating doesn't make it go away - it just makes you fat. Sleeping doesn't make it go away - it just brings a new day. Going to therapy doesn't make it go away - it just shines a light on it.
What is therapy for these days? Not sure. It's just been too long since I've been - a whole month. A month in which a lot has happened emotionally and which I've had to handle 'on my own'. So I list my accomplishments and don't have time for the sadness. Which hangs around and doesn't go away, completely at least.
I need to get to this, on my own:
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Bangs!
Es posted photos of her bangs, so I had to also.
Here it looks I'm constipated. Or at least taking a big dump in my pretty dress. But oh, those bangs.
And, a vision in white. With Babci (Dad's mom), my mom, my godmother, and my sister.
I kinda had my life flash before my eyes tonight, so figured I'd show some of it. I didn't know I had SUCH a bloodcurdling scream in me. Me barrelling down a street/hill when a car in the lane next to me decides to turn in front of me. Luckily he saw me and managed to stop in time and luckily I have good brakes and didn't go flying over the handlebars. But I guess maybe I need to fix my headlight for my bike.
Here it looks I'm constipated. Or at least taking a big dump in my pretty dress. But oh, those bangs.
And, a vision in white. With Babci (Dad's mom), my mom, my godmother, and my sister.
I kinda had my life flash before my eyes tonight, so figured I'd show some of it. I didn't know I had SUCH a bloodcurdling scream in me. Me barrelling down a street/hill when a car in the lane next to me decides to turn in front of me. Luckily he saw me and managed to stop in time and luckily I have good brakes and didn't go flying over the handlebars. But I guess maybe I need to fix my headlight for my bike.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I make good presents
This is for my trainer's 50th birthday which is this week, which he is not happy about. Can you guess what one of his favorite things is?
What's new?
Hi all - I've been wallowing in my own issues and also working like a dog, so haven't had much time to visit your blogs and comment very meaningfully. Sorry! The work will continue for a little while, but I'm trying to stop the wallowing.
My 'big' news:
- my medication was increased yesterday - the one that can cause the deadly rash. I think part of my problem for the last week was that I was headed into a little depressive episode (like yesterday, I slept for 12 hours - not normal for me). I think it will be good. Though this morning after I scratched a small itch on my arm, I jumped out of bed to look in the mirror and make sure it wasn't a rash...
- I've hired a highly recommended contractor/handyman to make a big leap in my kitchen. He'll install the ductwork, make the exit to the outside, install my cabinets back on my wall, and rip up the rest of the kitchen floor. Tomorrow! O, so worth the money, which isn't very much in the grand scheme.
- I also decided I needed to make a few more steps to make my place a home. So I bought expensive blinds for my windows in my bedroom. (top down bottom up cordless honeycomb levelor). Obviously I'm doing my part to help the economy. I have some savings so I'm not going into debt for it - just getting more house poor as they say (which freaks me out a bit, but I'll deal).
So, I hope everyone is well. Work calls...
My 'big' news:
- my medication was increased yesterday - the one that can cause the deadly rash. I think part of my problem for the last week was that I was headed into a little depressive episode (like yesterday, I slept for 12 hours - not normal for me). I think it will be good. Though this morning after I scratched a small itch on my arm, I jumped out of bed to look in the mirror and make sure it wasn't a rash...
- I've hired a highly recommended contractor/handyman to make a big leap in my kitchen. He'll install the ductwork, make the exit to the outside, install my cabinets back on my wall, and rip up the rest of the kitchen floor. Tomorrow! O, so worth the money, which isn't very much in the grand scheme.
- I also decided I needed to make a few more steps to make my place a home. So I bought expensive blinds for my windows in my bedroom. (top down bottom up cordless honeycomb levelor). Obviously I'm doing my part to help the economy. I have some savings so I'm not going into debt for it - just getting more house poor as they say (which freaks me out a bit, but I'll deal).
So, I hope everyone is well. Work calls...
Monday, January 12, 2009
My smoking break
Though no, I do not smoke, I allow myself to get up and get away from my desk at regular intervals, and sometimes go downstairs and hang out with the door guy. And sometimes the postal guy is there, and boy do they make a team. The conversation this time ranged from who gets to perform CPR on me if I fall to the floor in the office building, to drinking urine in the desert, to $5 foot longs, and dumpster diving. Ah, hilarious. And ego boosting too!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Ch-ch-ch-Changes
Just got off the phone with my ex. He agreed with me that it's likely not a good idea to go on a ski trip together. Dammit, I hate when people agree with me. Of course it's the right thing, but the right thing often sucks. Some of our best times were skiing, because he grew up with it and it was his life, and I embraced skiing so quickly and forcefully, and we could share. He was still better than me, but I was and am pretty damn good.
I told him I was giving him space, and he said it is indeed a confusing time.
It's just so fucking sad. And it sucks to divorce someone who's reasonable and a good man. I wish he were perfect for me. Or even halfway perfect. I wish my life were a mathematical formula and there was a right answer and I'd win the $1mil prize. I don't wish to see the future, I just wish I knew it would be good. But I guess that's all a matter of attitude.
At a party last night that a friend held and had originally not invited my ex, I sat back and looked at this group of people, and felt I needed a new group. Having been shy, I'm so proud to have an extended set of friends that I maintain contact with, though it be superficial for the most part. But I need to make some changes, though I'm not quite sure what changes. And maybe in the end I don't need to make changes - and I just accept the new reality whatever that is, but that reality is still evolving and being defined. And it's ok to feel alone, just not all the time, because I do have a core set of really good friends, and that's a great basis for a good life.
My guitar is weeping ever so not gently.
"I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps"
I told him I was giving him space, and he said it is indeed a confusing time.
It's just so fucking sad. And it sucks to divorce someone who's reasonable and a good man. I wish he were perfect for me. Or even halfway perfect. I wish my life were a mathematical formula and there was a right answer and I'd win the $1mil prize. I don't wish to see the future, I just wish I knew it would be good. But I guess that's all a matter of attitude.
At a party last night that a friend held and had originally not invited my ex, I sat back and looked at this group of people, and felt I needed a new group. Having been shy, I'm so proud to have an extended set of friends that I maintain contact with, though it be superficial for the most part. But I need to make some changes, though I'm not quite sure what changes. And maybe in the end I don't need to make changes - and I just accept the new reality whatever that is, but that reality is still evolving and being defined. And it's ok to feel alone, just not all the time, because I do have a core set of really good friends, and that's a great basis for a good life.
My guitar is weeping ever so not gently.
"I look at the world and I notice it's turning
While my guitar gently weeps
With every mistake we must surely be learning
Still my guitar gently weeps"
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Saturday Hunt - outside
This is my grass outside in the front. Half brown, half green. I don't know how to take care of lawns, so I'm hoping the brown stuff comes back to life in the spring. I do know there's two different varieties of grass in the front, and the brown stuff is one kind.
I did survive my night out alone. I took a 2 hour nap when I got home, and so was ready to stay out as long as I wanted. The place I went to ended up being very friendly to single people - the atmosphere and such. The bands were so so however, so I only stayed until 11:30. Alas. But at least I know I can go back. I also found a Spiderman pinball game in the bar area and was very excited that my beer had cost $5.50 and I gave a dollar tip instead of 50 cents.
Friday, January 9, 2009
No brain no pain?
OK, meeting is over. It went well. I have no brain. I have a few things I MUST do before leaving, and then will go home and nap, as I am going out to hear music tonight BY MYSELF, which I am trying to not be scared about. I have to find an inconspicuous outfit. [YAWN]
Why I'm sometimes a country girl
Heard this on the radio this morning for the first time and laughed.
Big meeting today. See you later.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Can you guess any movies?
This is a facebook thing and I don't have enough friends who care about doing such things. Not that I have a whole lot more here, but I thought I'd try another venue. Enjoy! Maybe.
RULES:
1. Pick 18 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess. One guess per person!
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. No Googling/using IMDb search or other search functions.
6. No looking at my favorite movies on my Facebook page.
7. If any of these are super obvious to you, leave them for someone else. [Note from me: a few are super obvious so go ahead]
1) It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's what you do with your dancin' shoes.
2) Wanted: friendly, companionably reclusive, socially unacceptable, alcoholically abstemious, tirelessly talkative, zealously unzealous, spiritually intense, minimally turquoise, maximally ecstatic moon, seeks moth or moths with similar qualities for purposes of telephonic seduction, Tristanesque trip-taking, and permanent flame-fluttering, no photos required, financial status immaterial, all ages and non-competitive vocations considered, applicants should furnish sets of sample conversation with notarized certification of marital disinclination, references re: low decibel vocal consistency, itinerary and sample receipts from previous successfully completed out-of-town moth flights, all submissions treated confidentially...
3) A llot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life.
4) Now, when I want you, this is what you will hear.
5) I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I, I can't remember... and I can't remember...
6) Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
7) You know how I know you’re gay?
8) INCONCEIVABLE.
9) I have seen a world that NO man should see!
10) You know most normal people get to know each other before they get married. They date.
11) In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.
12) You've poisoned me for the last time, you wretched girl!
13) I've been cursed for delving into the mysteries of life!
14) You don't live with me, you live among the remains of dead people. You sift through the detritus, you read the terrain, you search for signs of passing, for the scent of your prey, and then you hunt them down. That's the only thing you're committed to. The rest is the mess you leave as you pass through.
15) I... really wanted to screw my brains out. But now, I am not in the condition to fuck!
[another quote: You have to have good men. Good men, all of them.]
16) This means something. This is important.
17) They're all so beautiful. Why don't I have three heads?
18) If I didn't know you better, I'd swear you had some class!
RULES:
1. Pick 18 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess. One guess per person!
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
5. No Googling/using IMDb search or other search functions.
6. No looking at my favorite movies on my Facebook page.
7. If any of these are super obvious to you, leave them for someone else. [Note from me: a few are super obvious so go ahead]
1) It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's what you do with your dancin' shoes.
2) Wanted: friendly, companionably reclusive, socially unacceptable, alcoholically abstemious, tirelessly talkative, zealously unzealous, spiritually intense, minimally turquoise, maximally ecstatic moon, seeks moth or moths with similar qualities for purposes of telephonic seduction, Tristanesque trip-taking, and permanent flame-fluttering, no photos required, financial status immaterial, all ages and non-competitive vocations considered, applicants should furnish sets of sample conversation with notarized certification of marital disinclination, references re: low decibel vocal consistency, itinerary and sample receipts from previous successfully completed out-of-town moth flights, all submissions treated confidentially...
3) A llot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life.
4) Now, when I want you, this is what you will hear.
5) I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I, I can't remember... and I can't remember...
6) Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.
7) You know how I know you’re gay?
8) INCONCEIVABLE.
9) I have seen a world that NO man should see!
10) You know most normal people get to know each other before they get married. They date.
11) In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.
12) You've poisoned me for the last time, you wretched girl!
13) I've been cursed for delving into the mysteries of life!
14) You don't live with me, you live among the remains of dead people. You sift through the detritus, you read the terrain, you search for signs of passing, for the scent of your prey, and then you hunt them down. That's the only thing you're committed to. The rest is the mess you leave as you pass through.
15) I... really wanted to screw my brains out. But now, I am not in the condition to fuck!
[another quote: You have to have good men. Good men, all of them.]
16) This means something. This is important.
17) They're all so beautiful. Why don't I have three heads?
18) If I didn't know you better, I'd swear you had some class!
Lesson learned
I was super cautious today and did not ride my bike due to possibility of black ice. What I hadn't counted on was the wood chips. Walking down a little hill onto wood chips and BLAM down I go. Well, I did try and stay up, so it would have likely made a few dollars on America's Funniest Home Videos.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Choose and Defend
Stealing the idea from Laura... And on her day too.
Several times this past weekend I heard this song on the radio: Owner of a lonely heart. So the lyrics say: Owner of a lonely heart, much better than owner of a broken heart. I had several conversations with different friends. Which do you think is better?
Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a broken heart (image)
Here's the song if you want it:
Several times this past weekend I heard this song on the radio: Owner of a lonely heart. So the lyrics say: Owner of a lonely heart, much better than owner of a broken heart. I had several conversations with different friends. Which do you think is better?
Owner of a lonely heart
Owner of a broken heart (image)
Here's the song if you want it:
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Gift horse
I've said before that I'm not neat. Those who know me well know that that's an understatement. Well, yesterday I brought my car to the dealer because I had a leak somewhere and my car was smelling like cat urine. Turns out it was the sunroof and they fixed it - for a total of $360. When he told me on the phone I lost all emotion in my voice, but he said he would try and do something for me.
So, I got to the dealer, and we are chatting. I asked if I had gotten a lemon, since my computer went, my air conditioning had problems, the sunroof. He gives me a look - 'and how much have you paid for it?' Then he hands me a bill for $40. I just looked at him. 'I told you I'd take care of you.'
Then he starts giving me shit. They not only fixed the roof but also got out as much water as possible from the rugs, and cleaned them. In order to do that, they had to get all the shit off the floor. "We piled it onto your back seat. I'm not sure you can see out the back window" And it's a slight exaggeration.
He asked about my brother, who bought a car through them also. He's the polar opposite of me in terms of car neatness, and I told them the story of how on the way home over this holiday we stopped so we could switch driving, and when he got into the passenger seat he used his penlight to look on the floor to see if I got it dirty. I'm not kidding. It's stressful for me to be in his car.
Anyway, before I left I gave them my special smile - the one where I pinch my cheeks on either side. The guy who helped me and his colleague next to me just cringed and laughed. His colleague said 'how can a woman with such a nice smile make such a scary face'? Honestly, it's freaky. I scared myself as a child looking in the mirror and doing it. My sister can't take it. Kids find it interesting I think.
Anyway, long story short, there are wonderful people out there and I'm blessed to meet some of them.
And speaking of freaky, here's my mom's mailbox, Hannibal.
So, I got to the dealer, and we are chatting. I asked if I had gotten a lemon, since my computer went, my air conditioning had problems, the sunroof. He gives me a look - 'and how much have you paid for it?' Then he hands me a bill for $40. I just looked at him. 'I told you I'd take care of you.'
Then he starts giving me shit. They not only fixed the roof but also got out as much water as possible from the rugs, and cleaned them. In order to do that, they had to get all the shit off the floor. "We piled it onto your back seat. I'm not sure you can see out the back window" And it's a slight exaggeration.
He asked about my brother, who bought a car through them also. He's the polar opposite of me in terms of car neatness, and I told them the story of how on the way home over this holiday we stopped so we could switch driving, and when he got into the passenger seat he used his penlight to look on the floor to see if I got it dirty. I'm not kidding. It's stressful for me to be in his car.
Anyway, before I left I gave them my special smile - the one where I pinch my cheeks on either side. The guy who helped me and his colleague next to me just cringed and laughed. His colleague said 'how can a woman with such a nice smile make such a scary face'? Honestly, it's freaky. I scared myself as a child looking in the mirror and doing it. My sister can't take it. Kids find it interesting I think.
Anyway, long story short, there are wonderful people out there and I'm blessed to meet some of them.
And speaking of freaky, here's my mom's mailbox, Hannibal.
Monday, January 5, 2009
And so it begins
So, my glorious friggin new year started with a brunch at a friend's house. I was the first one there because I felt so pathetic the night before. My friend M showed up early too and we got the tour of the constantly-being-updated-since-they-just-moved-in place.
Standing in the kitchen when the next person appears - my ex. It was stunning. Not in the 'oh I'm so in love with him' way but rather the 'hey, I haven't seen him over the holidays because he's now my ex and here he is and I didn't really miss him but I sort of did' way. I of course recuperated and gave him a hug and happy new year. And gave him the present my nieces had made for him - his animal was more recognizable - a chick.
It was so odd. Hearing about his family and his holidays, and not having participated. And he brought back stuff for almost everyone (including me) - cherries and cheese, the staples of Wisconsin. He had actually asked people if they wanted stuff - something he never would have thought to do. He also had driven back New Year's Eve, then went to a party downtown until 3 am - something he almost certainly would never have done before.
The party that I didn't go to because I was not invited to it even though it's one of those people for whom you can go when you get a secondary or tertiary invitation, because I figured there was a statement there in the lack of invitation. And I gave him his space.
Oh, but the emotions! Other friends, mainly the married with children ones, started arriving and I wanted to run out the door crying. But I figured that would be poor form, so I sucked it up and tried to hang in. And so I did, until I saw my ex bouncing a baby on his knee, and just couldn't take it any more. I left and cried all the way home, kinda like the little piggy.
There's a party this weekend. And my friend had purposely not invited him to give me a break - she didn't even know about the New Year's Eve incident. And when I saw the invite I was grateful. But then he received a secondary invitation, and asked my friend if it was ok if he went, and she's going to say no? No, of course not. So, he'll be there.
All of this is life. I'm adult about it one minute and a child the next, and I know that's natural. I was so worried about him, and he's doing fine and of course from the outside looks like he's doing even better than me. Yes, you don't know. And I don't. And if I bring it up, I would hear the truth, and it just should not be my concern. But it is a little bit.
I do think I will say to him that I purposely did not go to the New Year's party to give him a break.
And I will ask him whether it's really a good idea if we go on a ski trip together, which we had planned to do, odd though it would be. It might be time to truly cut the cord for a bit. I'm bad at that, despite the pain it brings to maintain contact. Relationships are always hard work and it's so hard to give them up.
Crap, I just realized I didn't address the title of the post. What begins is the dispersion of friends. Some are mine. Some are his. The twain shall meet sometimes, but shouldn't all the time. And that's hard to deal with too.
Standing in the kitchen when the next person appears - my ex. It was stunning. Not in the 'oh I'm so in love with him' way but rather the 'hey, I haven't seen him over the holidays because he's now my ex and here he is and I didn't really miss him but I sort of did' way. I of course recuperated and gave him a hug and happy new year. And gave him the present my nieces had made for him - his animal was more recognizable - a chick.
It was so odd. Hearing about his family and his holidays, and not having participated. And he brought back stuff for almost everyone (including me) - cherries and cheese, the staples of Wisconsin. He had actually asked people if they wanted stuff - something he never would have thought to do. He also had driven back New Year's Eve, then went to a party downtown until 3 am - something he almost certainly would never have done before.
The party that I didn't go to because I was not invited to it even though it's one of those people for whom you can go when you get a secondary or tertiary invitation, because I figured there was a statement there in the lack of invitation. And I gave him his space.
Oh, but the emotions! Other friends, mainly the married with children ones, started arriving and I wanted to run out the door crying. But I figured that would be poor form, so I sucked it up and tried to hang in. And so I did, until I saw my ex bouncing a baby on his knee, and just couldn't take it any more. I left and cried all the way home, kinda like the little piggy.
There's a party this weekend. And my friend had purposely not invited him to give me a break - she didn't even know about the New Year's Eve incident. And when I saw the invite I was grateful. But then he received a secondary invitation, and asked my friend if it was ok if he went, and she's going to say no? No, of course not. So, he'll be there.
All of this is life. I'm adult about it one minute and a child the next, and I know that's natural. I was so worried about him, and he's doing fine and of course from the outside looks like he's doing even better than me. Yes, you don't know. And I don't. And if I bring it up, I would hear the truth, and it just should not be my concern. But it is a little bit.
I do think I will say to him that I purposely did not go to the New Year's party to give him a break.
And I will ask him whether it's really a good idea if we go on a ski trip together, which we had planned to do, odd though it would be. It might be time to truly cut the cord for a bit. I'm bad at that, despite the pain it brings to maintain contact. Relationships are always hard work and it's so hard to give them up.
Crap, I just realized I didn't address the title of the post. What begins is the dispersion of friends. Some are mine. Some are his. The twain shall meet sometimes, but shouldn't all the time. And that's hard to deal with too.
Animal
What kind of animal is this? My nieces made it for Christmas. Guess what they said it was.
OK, a hint is MOO.
Yes, that's right. It's supposed to be a cow. I guess like 'how now brown cow'? Because it sure looks like a rabid pig-like dog to me!
OK, a hint is MOO.
Yes, that's right. It's supposed to be a cow. I guess like 'how now brown cow'? Because it sure looks like a rabid pig-like dog to me!
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Saturday Hunt - Noise
Here's the audio portion of the hunt:
And going off that theme, here I present an item of my lingerie.
Ha, not so sexy, eh? I actually got this as a present from one of my bridesmaids as the wedding night lingerie - it's a top and pant set. Yes, those are frogs. What you don't know is the flowers glow in the dark. Which was kind of fun. Yes, I did wear them my wedding night.
And going off that theme, here I present an item of my lingerie.
Ha, not so sexy, eh? I actually got this as a present from one of my bridesmaids as the wedding night lingerie - it's a top and pant set. Yes, those are frogs. What you don't know is the flowers glow in the dark. Which was kind of fun. Yes, I did wear them my wedding night.
Friday, January 2, 2009
An unforgettable unexpected experience
I had to drive tonight to MOFN (middle of fucking nowhere) to pick up a free item from Craigslist. It just so happens it was near where my friend M works, so I called him up to see if he wanted to have dinner. Yay! He was available. And, he asked me if I wanted to see the TWA plane that crashed over Long Island. Um, huh?
So, we stepped into the hangar and he turned on the lights and BAM it hits you. Huge. Bits and pieces. Reconstructed. Holes. Huge. Here'san explanation and photo on Wikipedia.
My friend worked on the case. I still remember the day it happened. We were sitting eating dinner outside with a bunch of friends and he gets a page. Which is never a good thing when sitting with him. And off he went, not to be seen for weeks and weeks. Because what he was doing was reconstructing the plane bit by little and big bit.
What a friggin' monumental task! Standing on the floor looking at it - it's huge. And in so many pieces! He pointed out different patterns and damage and explained what they mean. What's really humbling is that you can walk into the airplane where the seats were/are. To see them and imagine being in one of those seats - it's kind of numbing. To know which seats had people in them - which blew up, which were in front when a piece of the plane separated and they sat there falling for 40 seconds... So sad.
It really should be in a museum open to the public. They do allow family members of the victims to visit the wreckage - there was a dried up bouquet lying there at the end of the seats. But the work they put into it to uncover the truth of what happened - it's amazing - and a big learning experience.
In the same hangar are pieces of the bridge that collapsed in Minnesota - so odd to see such wreckage.
I'm kind of still dumbstruck.
So, we stepped into the hangar and he turned on the lights and BAM it hits you. Huge. Bits and pieces. Reconstructed. Holes. Huge. Here'san explanation and photo on Wikipedia.
My friend worked on the case. I still remember the day it happened. We were sitting eating dinner outside with a bunch of friends and he gets a page. Which is never a good thing when sitting with him. And off he went, not to be seen for weeks and weeks. Because what he was doing was reconstructing the plane bit by little and big bit.
What a friggin' monumental task! Standing on the floor looking at it - it's huge. And in so many pieces! He pointed out different patterns and damage and explained what they mean. What's really humbling is that you can walk into the airplane where the seats were/are. To see them and imagine being in one of those seats - it's kind of numbing. To know which seats had people in them - which blew up, which were in front when a piece of the plane separated and they sat there falling for 40 seconds... So sad.
It really should be in a museum open to the public. They do allow family members of the victims to visit the wreckage - there was a dried up bouquet lying there at the end of the seats. But the work they put into it to uncover the truth of what happened - it's amazing - and a big learning experience.
In the same hangar are pieces of the bridge that collapsed in Minnesota - so odd to see such wreckage.
I'm kind of still dumbstruck.
Damn all you uplifting people!
I'm trying to wallow in my melancholy and I look at people's blogs and get emails and dammit, I'm feeling better. Sigh.
OK, this is from Not Fainthearted's site - some kind of blog ring thing. And FINE, I'll start being more optimistic. Sigh. Damn you all.
Five things I remember/treasure from 2008
1. Getting the phone call that I got the house I bought.
2. Having fish lips aimed at me from Cutiepie.
3. The support of extremely close friends who rallied to my cause when I needed it the most (often).
4. Catching really big fishies in Maine.
5. Getting rid of migraines, mostly, by making my body strong all over. And reorganizing my weight on my body to boot!
Five things I look forward to in 2009
1. Skiing with my new boots.
2. Rock climbing with new friends.
3. Having a garden with herbs.
4. Finishing my damn kitchen.
5. Making quilts (for my brother for 2008, and an art quilt for 2009 pick)
OK, this is from Not Fainthearted's site - some kind of blog ring thing. And FINE, I'll start being more optimistic. Sigh. Damn you all.
Five things I remember/treasure from 2008
1. Getting the phone call that I got the house I bought.
2. Having fish lips aimed at me from Cutiepie.
3. The support of extremely close friends who rallied to my cause when I needed it the most (often).
4. Catching really big fishies in Maine.
5. Getting rid of migraines, mostly, by making my body strong all over. And reorganizing my weight on my body to boot!
Five things I look forward to in 2009
1. Skiing with my new boots.
2. Rock climbing with new friends.
3. Having a garden with herbs.
4. Finishing my damn kitchen.
5. Making quilts (for my brother for 2008, and an art quilt for 2009 pick)
Layered Dreaming
Wrote this last night:
It's almost midnight and I fell asleep on the couch again. How's this for layers of dreams? Not even sure I can sort it out.
In my dream I'm lying on the couch sleeping/dreaming. And I hear a noise like someone's trying to get in the door but I thought I recognized the voices. So, I try to get up, but I'm so tired that I kind of move my arms and legs like I'm walking to the door, but realize I'm still lying on the couch. Finally I force myself to the door and I can barely get my eyes open. Even when the door is open I'm standing there with my eyes shut and kind of have to force my eyes open to talk to the person, who came back over to talk to me. It was a [fictional] young neighbor across the street who had delivered a game that he and his sister had created for me and wanted to play. I told him I'd play on Sat and went back inside. And in the dream I called up my friend M [who was helping me half of today on my house] to tell him about the experience and to tell him about my furnace, that I still right now as I sit here wonder if I truly had a problem with or not before I laid down on the couch and fell asleep.
I also had a dream about rock climbing with the gay trainer in the gym. I was trad climbing, and using his rack. And he had no nuts. I told him that this morning and he just laughed.
It's almost midnight and I fell asleep on the couch again. How's this for layers of dreams? Not even sure I can sort it out.
In my dream I'm lying on the couch sleeping/dreaming. And I hear a noise like someone's trying to get in the door but I thought I recognized the voices. So, I try to get up, but I'm so tired that I kind of move my arms and legs like I'm walking to the door, but realize I'm still lying on the couch. Finally I force myself to the door and I can barely get my eyes open. Even when the door is open I'm standing there with my eyes shut and kind of have to force my eyes open to talk to the person, who came back over to talk to me. It was a [fictional] young neighbor across the street who had delivered a game that he and his sister had created for me and wanted to play. I told him I'd play on Sat and went back inside. And in the dream I called up my friend M [who was helping me half of today on my house] to tell him about the experience and to tell him about my furnace, that I still right now as I sit here wonder if I truly had a problem with or not before I laid down on the couch and fell asleep.
I also had a dream about rock climbing with the gay trainer in the gym. I was trad climbing, and using his rack. And he had no nuts. I told him that this morning and he just laughed.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
You didn't ask, but here it is
Tomato soup broth:
--Pork neck bones (you used to be able to get these for free back in the old days. My mom would get them, cut off any remaining meat to save to make chop suey, and then boil the bones)
--Water to just cover the bones
--Onions (unpeeled, but washed)
--Peppercorns
Boil a pot of water. Throw in the neck bones and let water return to boil. Cook around 10 minutes. This gets all the crap off the bones (see photo). Dump the water, and rinse off the bones.
Boil another pot of water. Throw in washed bones, onions, and peppercorns. Bring to boil again, then simmer for at least 3 hours (preferably 5 or all day) with lid on. See photo.
Turn off heat. Take canning jars - I use old Classico Spaghetti sauce jars - and fill with broth. Make sure you pour the broth in through a strainer to catch peppercorns or whatever else. Cover immediately.
Let sit in room temperature until you hear the lids pop. Or for at least an hour. Then put in fridge. Use up broth within 2 months, though that might be pushing it. I don't even really know how long you can keep it. Once you have it, it goes quickly. (I made 7 jars from that big pot...)
To make soup, open jar and skim off hardened fat with spoon. Dump broth into pan and bring to boil. Throw in 3/4 c or so of soup pasta (ditalini, orzo, alphabets, or whatever - but don't mix). Cook pasta. Turn off heat. Add 1 small can of tomato sauce. Add evaporated milk to taste. (and perhaps salt and pepper). Eat heartily.
And, if you are bored when cooking the soup, take pictures of your cat.
--Pork neck bones (you used to be able to get these for free back in the old days. My mom would get them, cut off any remaining meat to save to make chop suey, and then boil the bones)
--Water to just cover the bones
--Onions (unpeeled, but washed)
--Peppercorns
Boil a pot of water. Throw in the neck bones and let water return to boil. Cook around 10 minutes. This gets all the crap off the bones (see photo). Dump the water, and rinse off the bones.
Boil another pot of water. Throw in washed bones, onions, and peppercorns. Bring to boil again, then simmer for at least 3 hours (preferably 5 or all day) with lid on. See photo.
Turn off heat. Take canning jars - I use old Classico Spaghetti sauce jars - and fill with broth. Make sure you pour the broth in through a strainer to catch peppercorns or whatever else. Cover immediately.
Let sit in room temperature until you hear the lids pop. Or for at least an hour. Then put in fridge. Use up broth within 2 months, though that might be pushing it. I don't even really know how long you can keep it. Once you have it, it goes quickly. (I made 7 jars from that big pot...)
To make soup, open jar and skim off hardened fat with spoon. Dump broth into pan and bring to boil. Throw in 3/4 c or so of soup pasta (ditalini, orzo, alphabets, or whatever - but don't mix). Cook pasta. Turn off heat. Add 1 small can of tomato sauce. Add evaporated milk to taste. (and perhaps salt and pepper). Eat heartily.
And, if you are bored when cooking the soup, take pictures of your cat.
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