Thursday, December 18, 2008

Chocolate before noon

An indicator of how my grumpiness still lingers is that I've just eaten not one but two pieces of chocolate before noon. I was doing better after showering at the gym, since I'm now friendly with most of the trainers, and it's good to see them every morning. The gay guy had told me a story of this one old man who works out there and how his jock strap is yellow with no elastic and basically does nothing. Well, that guy was working some machine and his shorts had fallen down a little so you could see the band (no, not the horn and cymbals, but the elastic band). I made sure to show it to the gay guy, who found it very hot of course. And showed me his!

Anyways, yesterday seemed like all would be well. My ex had asked me to bring his change to my bank for free sorting and conversion to bills. Not a problem. I like being helpful. And it just so happened that he was out and about later in the day and was willing to stop at a HVAC store only open until 5:00 to pick up a 7" to 8" transition for me (for my vent in the kitchen to the outside). How nice of both of us.

Yet, later when I stopped by, things went sour. I will freely admit that it's my fault, mostly or all. When I'm in that house, I still get too comfortable sometimes. And it's not mine. He lives there. He owns it. It's just I put so much into it. Anyways, so I see the piles of wrapping paper behind a door that I had forgotten to take some of. "You don't want this Big Bird paper, right. I'm taking it." And he retorts that everything in the house is his and I should ask. Or something like that. It was like a slap in the face. Likely which I needed, but boy did I get pissed off. We have not had time to go through the rest of the tools, and I was there partly to get photos off the computer that I didn't have yet.

And most importantly, we haven't gone through the wedding photos. I pulled out the albums and noted that those are OURS and we have yet to split them and just because they are in HIS house does not mean that they are HIS. I made the mistake of saying that I'd make photocopies of the black and white album and give them to him, and that I'd give him the color album back and make copies for myself.

It's a huge mistake. I looked through them this morning. The black and white was made by a friend and I already said I had wanted it. But I put some much effort into that color album. It's the best photos of everyone who took photos and tells the whole story of the wedding day. Copies would not do it justice. So, now I don't know what to suggest. And I'm pissed at myself for yet again taking on the responsibility for something when it should at least be shared. Dumbass me. I feel like holding them hostage, but should not do that.

I was 36 when I married. I really looked beautiful, if I do say so myself. I look so happy, and it's weird to look at. Because even back then I knew things weren't right. I might have been happy to have such a great party, because it was. Everyone said it was the best they'd been to. Relaxed and fun. We had it on a farm and the kids could pick all the berries they wanted, we had BBQ, and we had a hay ride and got stuck, and the pig escaped, and we had a bonfire, and dancing. And more. I actually posted a photo from it way back. Here.

Anyways, while I can't say I'm regretting the chocolate I just scarfed, I certainly should have made a better choice. And I suppose I should get to work. It might be a closed door day, else I bite someone's head off. It's partly a need for adjustment of medication, I know that too, and I'm going Monday for the next phase. I wonder if the fact that I decided to stop taking my blood pressure medication has anything to do with it?? (I was pissed - the dr's office would only give me 30 days because they said I needed to come it and I'm not going to be held hostage by them...fuck 'em).

So, what do I do about the photos?


Anonymous said...

Let's see.... You could:

A) suck it up and live with the decision you made,

B) call him up and apologize for being so reactionary and ask him for the opportunity to renegotiate the photo thing on neutral ground because his house knocks you out of whack,

C) or, don't do anything about it and don't accept it, just be bitter about it until you're exhausted.

That , is at least, my perspective... I hope you a have a better day. C:)

Pamela said...

Thanks, and I wasn't clear, but was wondering more how I could easily technically make a good copy of the color album.
Oh, and we had already made up by the time I left last night.

Pamela said...

Oh, and you left out the option #4 - eat more chocolate.

Nate said...

Really really good photo copies on really good gloss paper.
Seriously. Take it to Kinkos and tell em you want photo-realistic copies.

Squirrel said...

Don't do photocopies, you'll never be satisfied with the results. Get the photos scanned, then reprinted on photo paper; better yet, get the negatives scanned (if you have access to the negatives).

My brother is a photo/graphic design lab tech, so I know a little about this.

Also, eat more chocolate. Just don't smudge it on the pics.

Anonymous said...

Oh, sure... change the question after I answer it. C;P

I did some really old family photo's by scanning them into the computer then playing with them a little to make the m sharper and whatnot, and then printed them out on photo paper. Everyone thought they turned out well, or at least that is what they told me. but, simply copying them or scanning them by themselves wasn't good at all. C:)

Pamela said...

Nate, might be what I do, despite what Squirrel and Craig suggest, since my ex just called and doesn't want to deal with the effort it would take to make a really nice copy. I was very polite and said it would be good to have a good copy and asked him to share the effort. He doesn't want to do it, so I'll just make photocopies for him.

Craig, don't blame me for how you interpreted it! :P

Susan said...

You can take them to Walgreens and they'll do the copies for quality and all.

Churlita said...

That rock climbing photo is awesome. I hope you do get great copies if they are all that cool.

laura b. said...

Sounds like it is all being worked out very reasonably.
I'm sure as time goes by there will be more of those doing each other little favors times, and fewer high tension landmines.

NoRegrets said...

OK, I'll figure it out maybe during the holidays. Nothing like poring over wedding photos during the holidays when you're recently divorced. (do I hear the world's smallest violin playing?)

Churlita, there are quite a few really cool shots.

Laura, who knows. He just sounded really irritated and whatever.

The CEO said...

Why not simply call the ex and explain that the house is still an emotionally charged place for you and that you are sorry, but that you should both meet at Starbucks to discuss things from now on. Just what craig suggested.

If it helps, I ate a Nestle's Crunch bar with my coffee at 7:00 am, and Tootsie rolls for lunch. I'm thinking about putting a hershey bar on a roast beef and turkey sandwich for dinner. What do you think, white or red wine? Or maybe a beer?

And who is Pamela?

Pamela said...

CEO, I don't know. She takes over this site sometimes.

Suzanne said...

Squirrel is right. Scan them and reprint the pictures. And also avoid the house. I don't see how it can't be emotionally charged to go there. Altho I don;t think he should snap at you about wrapping paper, especially if you bought it to begin with.