Sunday, February 1, 2009

You just never know

Ah, the poor poor Cardinals. They did so well. Both teams did well, and one did have to win. But great game. Unbelievable plays. You don't know who's going to win until it's over - that's what made it a great game.

In any event, my ex called me by accident during halftime I believe - he was trying to call his parents. He said he was going to call me anyway, since he thought I should stop by to pick up some donation receipts that were mine, and while I was at it, have a piece of pie that he made. So I'll do that tomorrow night. But after he called his parents he called me back, since he found some news out he had to share.

And he asked me if I'm finding this whole thing difficult. Shit, I should just refer him to this blog. Ok, well, maybe not. But we had a good discussion about how difficult it is even though we both didn't think it would be so bad. I told him it seemed like he's doing great, and he corrected that assumption. And I told him about my ups and downs and round and rounds. It's always odd to talk about the impacts of the divorce, since I'm the one who pushed for it so essentially I brought this pain upon him, kind of. But it was good to touch base. He does need to hear that I'm not always doing well. That I spend time alone. That I go to the movies alone. That my friends sometime tire of hearing me cry about what I'm going through (well, at least I think that).

I do care about him so I'm glad we aren't completely disconnected.

But my whole point was, you just never know what people are going through until you are involved in it, or you are told about it. And chaos can arrive at any time. And you gotta learn to live through it and roll with the punches. And support those who are being punched.

This song was in my head last week when I was feeling especially low. Sometimes the inner me tries to console the other half of the inner me... It usually speaks through music.


Susan said...

I think it's good you guys talked.

Torrance Stephens - All-Mi-T said...

talking is good as long as uu honest



Squirrel said...

Thanks for posting some America; it brightened my day.

Churlita said...

You are still allowed to feel bad even if you were the one who initiated the divorce. He couldn't do for you what you needed him to do to make you happy, and so neither of you are at fault. unfortunately, the right thing isn't always the easy thing. It's good that you two can talk through it though.

laura b. said...

Maybe the two of you are just better friends than spouses. I think it is like that for me and my ex. Not that we are besties or anything, but still. And it must be kind of nice to know the two of you are in the same boat in some ways.

Mel said...

It was an interesting course of events with it's twists and turns--not quite the ending I was hoping for.

I'm sure that's true for the game, and for the circumstances in your life, today.

Finding peace with what IS can be a process, but you're getting there.

Not Fainthearted said...

churlita said what I would have said, if I were being articulate.

And I think it is amazingly great that you two can still talk.

Pamela said...

Thanks Susan, I think so too. Though dinner/pie was a little weird.

Torrance, I'm honest to a fault. Or try to be. And yes, I had seen that.

Squirrel, anything to make your day.

Churlita - yes, I know I can feel bad. But I feel I can't get angry when he makes comments to me about how much it's screwed him up, becausde he's just sharing, supposedly. It's odd.

Laura - I definiely feel that way. He has to get there.

Pamela said...

Oops, hi Mel. Yes, indeed. Is life ever what you hoped for? Hmm...

Not, yes, it's good we can still talk. Neither one of us is evil or really immature or whatever, so it works.