Friday, June 6, 2008

Because I can't download photos

I'm going to have to have a writing post. I took a photo of cutiepie this morning so I could show you the sweetheart that calls me 'ma', but I can't download them off my camera at work. So, instead I'll share something I found yesterday:

There's a life out there that I want and I can almost define it. It will be mine because I believe in myself and I can make it happen.

Repeat twenty times a day. Wait. Pray.

It was at the top of a spewing I had written one day at work and saved in my personal files. When I was agonizing about my life and my husband, and feeling helpless but not quite helpless. What I had written in the letter was 'There's a life out there that I want and I can almost define it. I don't believe in myself enough to make it happen.' And I think after a therapy session, it was suggested I change it to the above. I at least wrote it down. I didn't say it 20 times a day, but I should have. But I got there eventually.

Now I need to define the new life I want. I have started. It's a lot of work and I was feeling so overwhelmed about it yesterday. But today is a new day, and am trying to take it one step at a time.


Susan said...

Oh perfect opp for me to define something new about me too!

I may not be who I want to be right now but I'm getting closer to her with every breath. Each of those breaths, no matter how hard it is to take them, makes me a little prouder of myself.

WNG said...

Is it really bad that this quote from Californication is stuck in my head: "I'm pretty disgusted with myself, but I'm fine with that".

I'm honestly not thinking about it right now (good or bad I just needed a break from fixing myself). I am happy for you both and proud of you and I wanted you to know that.

evil-e said...

Don't spend too much time trying redefine everything. Don't dwell on the past too much either. Just look forward, know your "mistakes" (whatever you define as mistakes), and start knocking off personal projects one by one.

Tara said...

That's very motivational, thank you! Kind of make a check list of things you'd like to do.

Tera said...

I have been praying for the life I want and hopefully someday it will happen. I have faith that once I do some housekeeping and make room for my blessings, they will pour out in abundance!

NoRegrets said...

Yay Susan!
WNG, well, it doesn't have to be fixing yourself. As you know, I am perfect. This is all about fixing my life. :-)
Evile, I try to do that as much as possible, but I'm a planner, and not having a plan sometimes freaks me out...
Tara and TERA, no double teaming like this every again! So confusing to read them next to each other in email.
TERA, the one thing I don't like about what I wrote is the 'wait'. Since you can't just wait, you have to work along the way for it.

The CEO said...

Positive affirmations work, and they work well.

Churlita said...

Good for you. It's so hard to remember what we're capable of sometimes.