Monday, June 23, 2008

You from Jersey? I'm from Jersey! hahahahahaha


A certain no longer blog love crush of mine wrote recently:
So, do you have that great big hair with claw bangs hanging over your forehead? And do you smack gum and talk about how your cousin Vinny got drunk and tried to make a bona fide left turn, but wound up stuck in the gas station where you are not allowed to pump your own gas? Because that is what I imagine when I hear, "I'm from New Jersey."

See, there are all different sorts of people from New Jersey. The ones that MrT was referring to are the ones that say "I'm from Jersey", not I'm from New Jersey. But even they are cool. People from New Jersey are great - they are down to earth, friendly, helpful, sometimes loud, sometimes crude, but usually frank, people. And no, it isn't because the toxic waste dumps have altered their DNA. Even as yewts they learn the art of telling it like it is and busting your balls. And so what if there's an invisible thread tying all New Jerseyites to the exits of the NJ Turnpike? Such wondrous roads should be central in everyone's lives. And so what if you might someday wake up with a horse's head in your bed? There's amazing Italian food to be found in most locales in the state, and that's well worth it.

*Note: title is from Joe Piscopo's "You from Jersey?" routine on "Saturday Night Live."

23 comments:

M. Robert Turnage said...

I'll make it up to you one day by getting you some Bon Jovi tickets. I hear people drive all the way from Exit 12 to see themselves some Bon Jovi.

Squirrel said...

"People from New Jersey are great." Thanks for the mad props! I was born in the great state of NJ.

NoRegrets said...

Bon Jovi rocks and he is a true Jersey boy. I would also accept some Bruce tickets. (amazingly enough, when I was in high school - Born in the USA era- I didn't like him. damn do I wish now I would have gone to see him)

Squirrel, well, there you go.

M. Robert Turnage said...

We have ourselves a deal then. Just let me know the time and place.

I am a little concerned about this not-liking-Bruce-during- Born-in-the-USA thing, though. After doing such a great job of standing up for your state, you share this tidbit and make me wonder about you all over again.

And, finally, I assume you have seen the clip of Triumph the Insult Dog at the Bon Jovi concert, right? Because that is where I'm lifting most of my jokes.

NoRegrets said...

Well, that just goes to show you MRT, that noone's perfect. Not even little ol' me.

And no, I haven't seen it.

And where is your damn limerick?! :-)

Glamourpuss said...

When You tell people you come from Cornwall, they just make pirate voices at you and suggest you have sex with sheep. New Jersey sounds a lot better.

Puss

M. Robert Turnage said...

Jersey has some nice places.
Don't hate it - there's really no basis.
Instead just adore
Its champions (like NoR).
Now am I back in good graces?

NoRegrets said...

Puss, I thought that was Australia? :-)

NoRegrets said...

OK, fine, I'm back in love.

WNG said...

Don't worry NoR, I've learned to let things said about the South in general and SC in particular roll right off my back.

But I still love a good West Va joke! (West Va: Where the men are MEN and the sheep are scared!)

Sorry, Susan ;-)

Jonah K. Haslap said...

So much Jersey bashing, it's so disappointing. When did we become a society in which it is ok to stereotype on the basis of geographical location? It's lazy reasoning, and distressing to this blogger, who chooses tolerance and compassion over demeaning stereotypes.

Now, Long Island, on the other hand -- THERE'S a craphole full of sickos.

Susan said...

OMG you're so beat down, G!!!

WNG said...

I apologized!!!

Please don't make me wear the sheep costume, Susan...PLEASE!!!

M. Robert Turnage said...

I have this theory that we are most critical of people we are closest to. For example, people who classify the South as one big mass obviously don't know the very real difference between North Carolina and Georgia. People who think Texas is one big redneck red state have not visited both Dallas and Austin. And people who classify New Yorkers as one big group don't know the differences between Brooklyn and the Bronx.

I am sure in the great state of New Jersey, there is even a difference between Exit 8 and Exit 12.

NoRegrets said...

Jonah, you said it!
[not me]
Susan and WNG - play nice! Or at least videotape it... (I'm chanelling Gyuss since he's not showing up)
MRT, wait, Texas IS one big redneck state.

M. Robert Turnage said...

NoR, I'm going to take the high road as far as Texas-bashing is concerned. :)

heather said...

hey! what about the ~rest~ of new york?
ya know, like the parts with dairy farms and salmon rivers. great lakes and mountain trails?
now ~that's~ an assumption that kills me. all of new york is judged by 1 city. and most of us would rather it was it's own freakin state to tell you the truth. and not all of long island is a crap hole. montauk is a beautiful area.

M. Robert Turnage said...

Heather - to your point, I once vacationed in the Adirondack Mountains and had a great time.

evil-e said...

I have never had a problem with New Jersey folks. I have always gotten along with them rather well in work situations.

Churlita said...

Yeah? Try being from Iowa. Apparently, we're all a bunch of cornfed hicks who have no running water and spell culture with a K.

Tera said...

So is that New Jersey or New Joisey?

charlie said...

I too was born in Jersey, lived at Exit 10. Love your description of us. And no matter where you end up for however long you end up there, you'll always be from Jersey.

NoRegrets said...

Charlie - thanks, though I think Bruce was more eloquent. Thanks for making me queasy by the way - visited your site and saw the hairy back.