Monday, June 30, 2008

Can I get off the ride now?


I was going to write - Can I get off now? But being that you are all perverts, I figured I'd stick to the above.

I really would like to get off this roller coaster ride. But I think I'm stuck with it for a while more yet. Hopefully, I guess. Since I think that's what life is.

It's just that the current ride is wearing on me. One hour being incredibly happy because I got some money back from the bank on the house and then later incredibly sad after finding out my mutual fund that I thought was 'safe' lost money. From being happy when finding out that the assumption process will 98% likely be completed when I need it to be completed by (no later than the 8th) to being sad when bringing my separation agreement to be notarized. And this is all in one fucking day.

Please can I get off and not be decapitated?

Update: and now I find out my uncle is dying of renal failure. Ok, I better go play the lottery because I need a good upper to go with this downer.

19 comments:

heather said...

just hang on tight and shut your eyes, it'll all be over soon and you'll be able to puke on the zit faced teenager running the ride.

M. Robert Turnage said...

The whole point of roller coasters is that they have safety bars and you are packed in with a bunch of other screaming, slightly ill people.

Hang in there. You aren't alone, and you won't get decapitated as long as you don't sneak into the restricted off limits area like that one person did.

If you want me to come up with a brilliant plan for your life, just say the word. Word of warning - I am at my best when my plans involve 15 year old girls and Wal-Mart.

M. Robert Turnage said...

As far as the mutual fund goes, that's a long-term investment, right? A little dip now and then is normal in the overall life cycle. If you are planning on cashing out in 20 years, you will have completely forgotten this moment. Don't let it get you down.

M. Robert Turnage said...

I went through an assumption process once. Actually, I went through it several times, and each one was a complete disaster.

"Well, officer, I assumed she was of age."

"Yes, your honor, I assumed wrestling him down was just the law of the land."

"Uh, Cyber? I assumed you were picking up the check."

NoRegrets said...

Cool. Can't wait to puke. It always makes me feel better.

MRT, I think you should come up with a plan for my life. I'd love to hear it. And remember, though I'm a cougar, 15 years old would get me arrested.

Um, well, I thought Mutual funds were more secure. Kinda like CD's. And so it was my safety money. For using, for instance, for buying a house. Hard lesson learned. I'm an idiot when it comes to money.

Well you know the whole ' you make an ass out of u and me'

M. Robert Turnage said...

Nor's had her ups and her downs,
Shifting between smiles and the frowns.
But its only one day
That will soon pass away.
And drink, cookies, cake are all nouns.

M. Robert Turnage said...

I know your current life-events were not planned for, but for short-term investments (six months to a year) a CD is probably the best place to keep your money. Mutual funds really depend on the fund manager and the integrity of the brokerage - most of them don't perform better than straight Index funds (in my opinion).

You might not feel that you handle money very well, but if you 1) keep earning money and 2) learn from your mistakes, you will be ahead of most people. I would recommend reading "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" and ignoring about half of it (I think it skates up against being unethical in several places). But some of the concepts in the book were really eye-opening as far as how money works and how people who handle money for a living think. If anything, it will help you negotiate with a banker/broker/financial consultant. Anyway, you can find dozen of cheap copies of it at any used book store.

And, finally, if you ever want to just get it out of your system and really really cry, this link will do the trick every time:

http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail109.html

NoRegrets said...

Well, had I had my wits about me, I would have transferred all that money into a cd as soon as I knew I'd be needing it to put a down payment on a house. But I guess I can't think of everything. dammit

I just want to kick the little puppy dog...

M. Robert Turnage said...

Don't worry. You can't think of everything. Just do your best comic book villain impersonation and say, "Next time, Financial Thingmajajooby. I'll get you next time..."

And you can go ahead and kick that little puppy. He can make it on his own.

evil-e said...

Who are these perverts you speak of, us??

Mutual funds are investments and investments are meant to give some heart attacks. Ride it back up. Lows happen. ( I just had this conversation with my girl Renee)

I heard that roller coaster story you alluded to towards the end....don't loose your head.

Tera said...

That picture is particularly amusing!

Anyways, NoR, my life has been like that for a long time now. All I can say is hang in there girl...I'm sure the grass is greener on the other side...who comes up with this stuff anyhow???

Tera said...

P.S. Is MrT invading your comments? Let the "jumping on" commence!

NoRegrets said...

Evile-I think the perverts have arrived. With you know TERA speaking of jumping on MRT!!

And the thing is, this is the money I needed to buy the house. As of March it wasn't a long term investment. Crapola, but yet another lesson learned.

TERA, I know, it's life. But DAMN, sometime the frequency of the highs and lows can just make you puke!! Where the hell is that zit faced teen?

And MRT, well, that whole noun ending kind of made me want to barf. :-)

heather said...

oh nor, i'm so sorry about your uncle.
it has been a crap ass day for you hasn't it?
hang in there. you've been through worse and you'll get through this. sure it sucks now but think of all the 'oh yeah, you think ~that's~ bad...' stories you'll get out of this. :-)

(((hugs)))

Tara said...

I rethink some of my blog titles too, because they come out sounding perverted.

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle.

The ride, with all the ups and downs, will come to a complete stop eventually. Just make sure your seat and tray table is in the upright position....Wait, that's mutating into an airplane landing lecture.

Mel said...

k.....well, I've found a good "Rawrrrrr" works.
Nope, it doesn't change sick'em, but it kinda sorta feels good to 'rawr' in the face of life's 'little adventures'.

Rawr.

:-/

I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle and about the interferences that keep seeming to find you.

*hugs*

M. Robert Turnage said...

Oy vey.

I am very sorry to hear about your uncle. Warmest wishes, thoughts, and prayers are with you. Stand strong and know you are cared for.

Glamourpuss said...

It's times like these that people say things like 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger' and 'life only throws at you what it knows you can handle'. I hate that shit. Feel bad. Then feel better. And try to hold on to the thought that the only constant in life is change - it will pass.

Puss

NoRegrets said...

Thanks all... My seatbelt is keeping me strapped in, despite the loop de loops on the roller coaster.

Did I mention that my cousin is also my financial guy? So, I cry on the phone to him about my mutual fund, and then send an email to apologize, and get the news about his dad. Just goes to show you, someone always has it worse.

yeah Puss, I hate that shit too sometimes...